This website is a WIP - please be aware that this site is not exclusive and the definitions are not official. This site is being consistently updated.

Asexuality

What is Asexual?

Asexuality is the experience (or lack thereof) of having little to no sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of gender. It is one of the four scientifically studied sexual orientations, described by science to be a lack of activity in the same parts of the brain that activate in allosexual people. Asexual people do not feel the same sexual pull towards other people as an allosexual (or, someone with sexual attraction) might feel. This experience comes in a spectrum, as do all human experiences, and may or may not include the experience of romantic attraction towards others (See Split Attraction ). Some asexual people can want, have, enjoy, or otherwise engage in consenual sex with others to the same degree as allosexual people. Other asexual people are indifferent, or may be completely repulsed by the idea of sex. The only difference is that ace people do not experience the attraction that comes with this desire.

In responce to common misconceptions: Asexuality is not imaginary, celibacy, a dysfunction, or a lack of sex drive. It is also not a choice. One may choose whether or not to engage in sexual activities, but cannot choose whether or not they are attracted to a person, the same way that a straight person cannot choose to be gay and a gay person cannot chose to be straight. The mind is wired towards a particiular orientation, and how we choose to act on it or describe it is a personal choice that deserves the same respect and dignity as any other personal identity.

Ace Rings

A popular symbol in the asexual community is the use of ace rings and aro rings. An asexual person might wear a black right on their right middle finger to symbolize their asexuality, and an aromantic person might wear a white ring on their left middle finger to symbolize aromanticism. Aroace people can wear both if they choose. Similar to purity rings, wedding rings, or engagement rings, the use of an ace or aro ring is a symbol that the person is not interested in being pursued for sexual or romantic gestures. It can also be used as a symbol to other asexual people, to help find other ace people in day to day life.

Steve Winter and Thom Gray, from PinkNews.co.uk

Relationships and Asexuality

The men depicted are in an asexual homoromantic marriage (read about them on PinkNews!). How does that work? They explain in the article linked that, “The reality is, we do everything a couple does except sex. So that means cuddling, physical contact, romantic gestures, etc..."

A relationship can look, feel, and function however is best for the people within it. If that means that they do not have sex, that's perfectly fine! If this means cohabiting and raising children without legal marriage, that works! If this means living in separate homes and visiting each other as is desired, that's ok too! There is no one way for a relationship to look or operate, and the same goes for relationships involving one or more asexual people. The only thing that matters is that all folks involved feel safe, heard, and respected.

The Asexual Spectrum

All orientations and identities come in a spectrum, and asexuality is no exception. The scales given are one way of visualizing the way that your attraction may manifest, but it does not explain the many ways that you may experience said attraction. Listed below are a variety of more specific "microlabels" that describe in more detail the different ways that asexual people experience sexual attraction, listed in alphabetical order. The specificity can be overwhelming, so it's absolutely fine to simply call yourself asexual!

More detail and further information can be found on asexuals.net .

Asexual-flux

This describes people who's asexual identity appears to change over time. You may feel completely asexual, and may feel demisexual for a while, and then return to complete asexuality. This differs from person to person. Some even have expressed feeling allosexual for a while.

Aegosexual

Aegosexual describes people who have a disconnection between themself and the subject of arousal. They may have sexual fantasies, engage with erotic content, or masturbate, all while feeling little to no sexual attraction. These folks usually don’t desire sex with others.

Apothisexual

This is a label specific to asexual people who are completely repulsed by sex, either the idea of sex with others or the concept altogether.

Cupiosexual

This describes asexuality that includes a desire to have a sexual relationship. As stated above, a lack of attraction still leaves room for sex-positive people to engage in consensual sex for various other reasons, like love for a partner, physical pleasure, or the desire to please a partner.

Demisexual

Demisexuality is a fairly well-known orientation describing those who do not experience sexual attraction unless a strong emotional bond has been formed. Then, attraction is possible towards that person. Demisexual people usually require a strong friendship before feeling attraction at all. Due to the small presence of attraction, demisexual people may also identify as straight, gay, bisexual, etc. at the same time.

Fraysexual

Seen as the opposite of demisexuality, fraysexual people can feel attraction to strangers, but lose this attraction after getting to know the other person or forming a relationship.

Greysexual

Greysexual people exist somewhere between allo- and asexuals. They may experience sexual attraction occasionally, but far less frequently than most allosexual people. Greysexual people may also use a second sexual orientation identity.

Lithosexual

Another form of fray- or greysexuality, lithosexual describes the ability to feel sexual attraction without the desire for reciprocation. A lithosexual person may entirely lose attraction once they find out that the attraction is mutual, and thus usually do not desire or seek out sexual relationships.

This page isn't finished yet! Click here to learn more about: Split Attraction, Sexual Orientations Identity Interaction (using two labels)

Using Two Labels

can i be bisexual and asexual? what about panromantic asexual people?

Oriented-Asexual

Angled-Asexual

Got more questions?

What is aromantic?

I still don't understand how to use two labels.

How can a sexuality change?

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse