Conveying Themes Of Love And Desire Alongside Intoxication

Article by Merle Grunert 10a (Published 28.01.2024)

Bar Napkin Sonnet #11 

(Moira Egan, 2005) 

Things happen when you drink too much mescal.

One night, with not enough food in my belly,

he kept on buying. I’m a girl who’ll fall

damn near in love with gratitude and, well, he

was hot and generous and so the least

that I could do was let him kiss me, hard

and soft and any way you want it, beast

and beauty, lime and salt–sweet Bacchus’s pards–

and when his friend showed up I felt so warm

and generous I let him kiss me too.

His buddy asked me if it was the worm

inside that makes me do the things I do.

I wasn’t sure which worm he meant, the one

I ate? The one that eats at me alone?

Analysis of “Bar Napkin Sonnet #11” 

The Poem “Bar Napkin Sonnet #11”, by Moira Egan is able to capture themes of intoxication, love, and internal conflict through her use of symbolism and figurative language. “Bar Napkin Sonnet #11” explores a woman's sexuality and the struggles she faces at a bar and within herself. 

Throughout the Sonnet Egan depicts the relationships she forms with two men at the bar. It is in that report-like description of events that the themes of lust, desire, and intoxication are portrayed. The feelings of lust and the intoxication of the narrator are strongly intertwined with one another, as I believe that the desire she feels wouldn’t exist without her consumption of alcohol. The first three of the poem convey just that,“Things happen when you drink too much mescal. / One night, with not enough food in my belly, / he kept on buying. I’m a girl who’ll fall”. The first line starts the poem with a negative tone since drinking too much alcohol rarely leads to anything positive. Furthermore, drinking when having hardly eaten anything makes one drunk and sick quicker. As the third line of the poem shows she had been drinking a lot that night. 

In lines three to four we get introduced to the man she met in the bar,“he kept on buying. I’m a girl who’ll fall / damn near in love with gratitude and, well, he”. Even though the man, who persistently bought drinks for the woman despite her probably being drunk, seems repulsive, Egan describes the man as being generous. The feeling of lust comes to a climax in lines five to eight, especially when Egan describes the kiss between the narrator and the man. “[...] hard / and soft and any way you want it, beast / and beauty, lime and salt–sweet Bacchus’s pards–”, not only does the sexual undertone of the poem become clear but the key themes of the poem are reiterated. 

Although the poem is about desire, sexuality, and love from an objective point of view, there is a continually threatening undertone in the poem. The comparison of “beast and beauty” might highlight the masculinity of the man and the fragility of the woman, but the word choice of beast comes with an implication of danger. Because the seventh line ends in “beast” the connection between beast and beauty isn’t immediately drawn which further indicates the threatening undertone of the verse and the poem as a whole.

The mentioning of “sweet Bacchus’s pards”, is used to reflect the narrator's level of intoxication and ecstasy, as Bacchus is a symbol of insobriety, epiphanies, and euphoria in multiple cultures (such as Greek culture). This further implies that the desire she feels for the man is connected to the presence of alcohol. Egan is referencing “Ode to a Nightingale” by John Keats in which he states,“Away! away! for I will fly to thee, / Not charioted by Bacchus and his pards, / But on the viewless wings of Poesy,”. In “Ode to a Nightingale” the narrator does not want to be “seduced” into the idea of drinking by Bacchus and his pards. “Bar Napkin Sonnet #11” contrasts this point of view, as Bacchus’s pards are described as “sweet”. It is as if the narrator is inviting the pards and with that the alcohol to take control over her body. 

It is because of that implication that I believe that she is not in control of the situation and that her feelings towards the man are quite contrived. This assumption is confirmed as soon as she kisses the man's “buddy”. She justifies this action with her feeling generous and warm, which I think is her drunken attempt of returning the “generosity” of the man who bought her the drinks. 

The last four lines of the poem “His buddy asked me if it was the worm / inside that makes me do the things I do. / I wasn’t sure which worm he meant, the one / I ate? The one that eats at me alone?” again remind the reader of her level of intoxication since there is such a thing as a mescal worm. The last line of the sonnet adds a new layer of depth to the poem “[...] The one that eats at me alone?”. This verse shows that there is a deeper purpose to her being in the bar getting drunk and kissing strangers. A worm or what the worm symbolises eating “at her” shows that something is destroying her from the inside. The fact that she considers the worm being what controls her “makes me do the things I do” means that it has consumed her to the point where it controls her, it's part of her. The narrator's decision to go to the bar might be to drown out the “worm” and an attempt to be controlled by something other than it. 

The structure of the poem is not too complicated but it isn’t simple either. Apart from stating the obvious (that the poem is a sonnet, ergo has 14 lines), the rhyme scheme can be more confusing. The first four verses of the sonnet could be “defined” as consisting of “a b a b”, but the rhymes seem rather impure and don’t flow as much as you expect them to when reading or reciting them back to back. The next four lines arguably have a “c d c d” rhyme scheme, but again

that isn’t very clear. The endings “least” and “beast” rhyme perfectly, but again “hard” and “pards” do not. The following four verses “abide by” the same scheme with a “e f e f”. The last two verses don’t rhyme but both words at the end of the lines end in “one”,“the one”, and “at me alone?” which in my opinion is supposed to show that despite the narrator forming new relationships, she is still alone. She is only one. I think this might be referencing the saying “my other half” in the sense that when two people have found each other in a way they become one. I don’t think that Egan is trying to express the narrator's “agreement” with being one with yourself, but rather not having found someone to share a piece of yourself with, even though having formed a seemingly close relationship with a man at a bar. 

“Bar Napkin Sonnet #11”, is a short 14-line poem that can capture how intoxication can affect and simulate the feeling of love, while also hinting at a conflict within the narrator.

Sources:

Egan, M. (n.d.). Bar Napkin Sonnet #11 by Moira Egan. Poetry Foundation. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/160555/bar-napkin-sonnet-11-6481e190716ad