Fabrycky Aaron Hyler breaks previous record, recites morning Pledge of Allegiance in 4.37 seconds

Matthew Fabrycky

News about Aaron Hyler reciting the Pledge of Allegiance during Mount Carmel’s morning announcements in 4.37 seconds spread rapidly, prompting widespread amazement among fans and students. The record was set by the Student Body President during morning announcements on Wednesday, September 30. It took place in the main office as Assistant Principal Mr. Bill Nolan and Administrative Assistant Ms. Deirdre Murrihy looked on in shock. As the record was being set, Mr. Nolan’s jaw dropped and Mrs. Murrihy stared in amazement. Students say that not a single breath was taken during the 31-word pledge. 

“I’m really happy to see this young man succeed,” said Principal Mr. Scott Tabernacki after the event. “He’s been training his whole life for this record.”

Hyler hired many coaches and trainers to help him reach this goal. He trained many different oral and buccal muscles so that he could talk faster and faster. He underwent extreme breath training to make his oxygen go further. Mr. Hyler worked his mouth non-stop, trying to cut down on every unnecessary movement. It is reported that Mr. Hyler went to the auction every Saturday to take notes on the auctioneer’s strategies, creating a strong foundation for blistering speech. 

“Aaron really proved that he deserves to be Student Body President,” said Mr. Nolan. “He really helps mornings be quick and efficient. In a world whose entertainment is getting more and more dense, Aaron keeps students engaged.”

Because of the popularity of this feat, many rumors have started among the student body.  “He was chewing gum during the Pledge,” some have said. “He was doing squats while defeating the record,” claims Mr. Julius Henry.. “He was scrolling Instagram during the morning announcements,” according to one freshman.

This is not the end. Sources say that he is working on getting the “Our Father” in under ten seconds.