Embedded Files
THE INFINITE SCALABILITY OF SILENCE
Welcome to the terminal point of the supply chain. You are looking for a product, but SOWCU understands that you are actually looking for an Absence
SOWCU
We are the premier global facilitator of Post-Consumer Existence Management. Operating in full, aggressive compliance with the Shanghai-Tokyo-Seoul Transparency Accords and the Pan-Asian 'Safe-Thought' Initiative, we do not merely sell goods. We sell the Bureaucratic Lubricant required to slide your entity through the narrow gaps of the Surveillance State without triggering an alarm.
Our inventory is absolute. From the nanomaterial required to mask your thermal signature, to the 'Face-Saving' dermal peels that reset your social debt, to the wholesale exportation of your anxiety into the Central Antarctic Non-Administrative Zone.
We are Wholesale. We do not deal in the individual ego. We deal in the Bulk Tonnage of the Collective Soul. Are you a Nation State looking to outsource your regret? Are you a Corporation seeking to liquidate your moral liability? Are you a Person who wishes to become a Statistic?
SOWCU is the architecture of your 'Everything'. We offer the Sustainability of the Mask. We offer the Beauty of the Grid. We offer the Luxury of Being Unnoticed.
SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM TO APOLOGIZE
⚠️ WARNING: ONTOLOGICAL BARRIER CRITICAL ⚠️ DO NOT CLICK THIS IMAGE UNLESS YOU ARE AUTHORIZED TO HALLUCINATE. Clicking below constitutes a Voluntary Breach of the 'Happiness Protocol'. You are leaving the Safe Zone. You are exiting the Logic. SOWCU is not responsible for:
The loss of your Credit Score.
The sudden expansion of your Amygdala.
The realization that your "Career" is a Ponzi scheme. PROCEED TO ROT. ENTER THE ROADKILL. ☠️💩👻🥒☠️
OFFICIAL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF ENTITY STATUS
BE IT KNOWN, that the entity designated herein as:
The Tlusty Blant Non-Empire
(Hereinafter referred to as "The Anomaly"), being the duly recognized ad-hoc subsidiary, special projects vehicle, and primary memetic insurgency unit for:
The Underwriting Committee for Conceptual Securities, which acts in advisory capacity to the Chimeric Cartography Unit (CCU), and serves as the secular fiduciary for The Permanent Committee for the Administration of Unincorporated Hauntings (A Registered Charity of the Soul), operating under the occluded charter of The Sub-Basement & Graveyard Pool Authority (S.G.P.A.) and its associated three-letter special access programs for Applied Absurdity and Strategic Incoherence;
IS HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGED and entered into the official registry.
Entity Registration No:
TB - §7B - CH / 4Δ1
Status:
Acknowledged & Unstable.
Jurisdiction:
Sub-Primal. Refer to Protocol Omega.
Furthermore, BE IT DECLARED IN PERPETUITY, that all rights, titles, responsibilities, intellectual properties (corporeal and otherwise), and the associated existential burdens of The Anomaly are, and shall forever remain, the sole and exclusive property of:
The Primary Resident; the Tenant-in-Chief whose name constitutes a standing breach of contract with consensus reality, and whose signature is recorded hereafter as a classified and weaponized absence.
[WITNESSED & STAMPED: REALITY DECOMMISSIONING
(BETA CERTIFIED)]
☠️➿☠️ 🦉 🗝️i°i🗝️
[A Self-Validating Consensus :: Unincorporated]
ᚖ|§|⨎(α) ⇌ ∰[Ψ-continuum] :: discard(n-1)FSTHCTB Tlusty Blant
[D.A.S. :: S.P.N. :: A.U.]
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse