This page will be the text version of a video guide to heterosexual and gay sex, sexually transmitted infections, different sexual orientations, different gender identities, and different kinks(sexual preferences that deviate from traditional sexual activity). This will be a very beginner friendly guide for those who may be just starting to be sexually active or for those who may not have had adequate sexual education when they did start to be sexually active although I will be going into the safest practices and some details for the topics as well so even an experienced person may learn something. While I will cover a lot in this guide, I would recommend looking more into topics such as sexually transmitted infections and gender identity as they are very deep fields and I will be primarily providing a baseline level of understanding rather than a full explanation. Unfortunately many topics such as sex, nudity, and kinks have been illogically tabooed by mainstream society which has led to a lot of people being afraid or embarrassed to ask in person. No matter what anyone says, do not let anyone discourage you for any consensual or non harmful sexual actions you do, your preferences, your sexual orientation, or your gender identity. Sexual things are completely normal. If you have any questions or feel like I didn’t cover a topic in as much depth as you would like, feel free to ask in the in the form below.
Consent! Read before anything else!
Before we get into anything else, let’s cover the most important thing to do with sex: consent. Before doing anything physically, sexually or not, be sure to ask your partner in no uncertain terms whether they agree to physical contact(or whatever action you intend to do) with you. If they say no or if they do not give their explicit permission while they are of sound mind and not under the influence of drugs or alcohol, it would be legally, ethically, and morally wrong to proceed and you should not go forward with anything.
Traditional Sex
First let’s talk about traditional sex(without any added modifiers or kinks). First I will be talking about the types of sex that can be achieved with any partner, the first of which being oral sex. Oral sex is contact from a sex specific sexual organ to a mouth(I.E. Mouth to penis or mouth to vagina). Oral sex is the sex type least likely to give Sexually Transmitted Infections(which will be explained later) but it is still possible and caution should still be exercised. When the activity is done with someone assigned female at birth the partner is licking or sucking on the vulva(and often more specifically the clitoris as that is the most sexually sensitive part of the vulva) and the activity may be referred to as cunnilingus or more slangily as “eating pussy.” When the activity is done with someone assigned male at birth the partner is licking, sucking on, and/or taking the penis and/or balls into the mouth with the activity being referred to as a blowjob or sucking dick. The next type is anal sex which is the anus(butt) coming into contact with either a penis(for the most mutually assured pleasure), a finger(or other body part), or an object. This happens with the penis, body part, or object(most commonly a “dildo” which is a simulated penis) being inserted into the anus and can be called anal sex, fingering(inserting fingers into the anus), fisting(Inserting a fist into the anus), or anal penetration. While anal sex can be done by anyone, it is the only penetrative sex achievable by gay(Male Assigned At Birth on Male Assigned At Birth) partners and as such is heavily favored by them. When done with a body part where it is possible to have blood contact(specifically penis to anus penetration is the most common) there is a heavily increased risk of sexually transmitted infections. Now for the sex acts that require certain genitals to do, let’s start off with heterosexual(male assigned at birth on female assigned at birth). This is achieved when a penis is inserted inside of the vulva. This is the only type of intercourse that can produce offspring(without donation of genetic material from someone outside of the partners actively involved) and is also at higher risk of sexually transmitted infection with blood to blood contact due to more friction. The next types are rubbing the sex specific genitals together or on each other. For Male Assigned At Birth on Male Assigned At Birth the practice is called frotting and often refers specifically to touching penises together. For Female Assigned At Birth on Female Assigned At Birth the practice is called scissoring and often refers specifically to rubbing vaginas together. When doing any penetrative sex(anal or heterosexual sex) it is advisable to always use lubricant to reduce friction and make the experience smoother/more pleasurable.
Sexually Transmitted Infections(STIs)
Now that the different types of traditional sex are defined, let’s talk about sexually transmitted infections. Sexually transmitted infections are infections that can either be spread orally(through either oral sex or very limited through kissing) or through blood to blood contact most commonly occuring in penetrative sex(either anal or heterosexual sex). The infections that can be spread through kissing specifically are Herpes, Cytomegalovirus, or Syphilis. Herpes has the only major symptom of a blister on the mouth or genitals and Cytomegalovirus has mostly minor symptoms(although if the host is immunocompromised they can be worse), but Syphilis, while it is a lot rarer to get from kissing and is mostly only transmitted by oral, anal, or genital sex, can have quite severe symptoms and even be fatal if untreated. Most STIs have treatments or vaccines that can neutralize them although a couple with very severe symptoms that require specific preventative measures are HIV(which leads to AIDS), hepatitis B, and HPV. Generally, use protection(condoms) and be sure to get yourself and your partners tested for sexually transmitted infections whenever possible.
Sexual Orientations
Now let’s talk about the different sexual orientations, which denote who a person who is attracted to. The first is abrosexual which means someone whose sexuality is fluid or changeable. The next is asexual which means someone who either does not feel sexual attraction or does not desire to act on it. Not to be confused with aromantic which is not feeling feelings of romantic attraction or a desire for romance. Allosexual which means someone who does feel sexual attraction. Bicurious means someone who is curious about a relationship with someone of the same gender. Bisexual means someone who is attracted to men and women. Cupiosexual means someone who does not experience sexual attraction but still desires to engage in sexual behaviors or in a sexual relationship. Demisexual describes someone who only has sexual attraction under certain circumstances. The next sexuality is gay or homosexual(me) which means being attracted to someone of the same gender. Graysexual refers to people who have less sexual attraction than most people but are not asexual. Gynesexual means attraction to femininity(and not necessarily purely within the female gender). Lesbian refers to a woman being attracted to women. While not strictly a sexuality, monosexual is an umbrella term that refers to all sexualities that involve being attracted to only one gender. Multisexual is an umbrella term referring to being attracted to more than one gender. Omnisexual/Pansexual refer to someone who can feel attracted to everyone. Polysexual refers to someone who is attracted to many but not all genders. Straight or heterosexual people feel attracted to a gender that is different than their own. I’m sure that there could be more, so please let me know which I should add to the website page with all of this information and please be sure to check the website for the most accurate and current information.
Gender Identity
Now let’s talk about gender identity which denotes what someone identifies as. Gender identity is sadly something of a hot topic currently because of some very vile lies being told about transgender and genderqueer people to demonize and dehumanize them. These lies have no basis in reality and are only propagated by hateful assholes who fear anything that is different. No matter the gender identity of a person, they are still a person and deserve the respect, ability to voice their opinions, courtesy, and warmth given to any other person and it is not hard to accommodate whatever someone wants to be called. It should make very little difference to you what someone wants to wear or what pronouns someone chooses and it can mean the world to them, so everybody just be kind to your fellow person. Now let’s get into the actual terminology. Cis, cisgender, or cishet means someone who identifies with the same gender that they were assigned at birth(male or female) while trans or transgender means someone who identifies differently to their gender assigned at birth. Agender refers to someone who identifies as male or female. Androgene refers to someone who is either gender neutral or identifies as both male and female. Anogender refers to someone who always holds the same gender identity, but has varying intensity of feeling like that gender. Bigender refers to someone who identifies as having 2 genders. Butch is used to describe someone who is masculine and is usually used by someone who would have a normally feminine gender identity. Demigender describes someone who experiences a connection to a gender but other times refers to themselves as nonbinary(not fitting with male or female gender identities). Gender agnostic refers to someone who thinks that gender identity is unknowable. Gender dysphoria is both a medical and informal term which describes extreme discomfort caused by a person’s chosen gender and the one assigned to them at birth, especially when they are unable to conform to their chosen gender. Gender-neutral describes not being a part of a particular gender. Intersex is a term used to describe bodily characteristics that are not typical of males or females. MTF describes someone who has transitioned from male to female with FTM standing for female to male which is someone who transitioned from female to male. Nonbinary refers to someone who does not identify as male or female. Omnigender means experiencing all or a lot of genders, similar to pangender although with pangender often experiencing multiple gender identities at a time. Polygender refers to people who experience multiple gender identities. Two-spirit is a term used by Indigenous North Americans to describe someone with both masculine and feminine spirits.
Kinks(Introduction)
Now let’s talk about kinks which are sexual preferences that deviate from traditional sexual activity. The specific kinks I will be covering in this text are BDSM, impact play, ABDL, breath play, CBT, CNC, breeding, cuckolding, electrostimulation, humiliation, exhibitionism, findom, feet, water sports, and hypnosis as these kinks are relatively safe physically when done correctly and are more accessible compared to some of the more hardcore kinks . For any other specific kinks if you ask me I can do research on the kink itself and the safest practices and will add all of the info that I retrieve to the page on my website. However, I would say that activities like knife play, blood play, scat, hard breath play, chasing(trying to intentionally catch STIs including HIV), necrophilia, vorarephilia(cannibalism), crush, hybristophilia, and all other activity that endangers yourself or others or that cause actual harm to a creature or human should be avoided at all costs and I will not be researching anything to do with them. Morality should always come before sexual gratification and anyone who mentions these or other harmful activities will be hidden from the comments and/or reported to Youtube as necessary. Kinks and sexual activity should never cross the line to physical harm or physical activities where the other person cannot consent.
Kinks(BDSM And Pain Play)
Now that’s clear, let’s talk about the first kinks. I will be grouping BDSM and kinks involving pain such as impact play and electrostimulation together because they are so closely related. BDSM stands for 3 things: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. BDSM stems from the belief/fantasy that there are dominants and there are submissives and that dominants should exert their authority over submissives either physically by putting them into bondage(collars, handcuffs, rope restricting the submissive, etc.) or by mentally making the submissive submit to them by following their orders, addressing the dominant in a respected way, or other forms of submission. As for the sadism and masochism aspect of it, there are a lot of sadists(people who derive erotic pleasure from causing pain) and masochists(people who derive erotic pleasure from receiving pain) in the BDSM community, so while pain play is definitely not present in all BDSM relationships it is present in a lot of them. As such BDSM goes hand in hand with other forms of pain play like impact play(using physical instruments such as paddles, hands, canes, etc. to induce erotic pain in a submissive), electrostimulation(using shocks to induce pain and pleasure in a submissive).
Kinks(BDSM And Pain Play Best Practices)
The best safe practices for BDSM play is to establish and gesture(a word or action that immediately causes the dominant to stop the current activity), establish hard limits including making certain body parts off limits or specifying certain activities that are no gos, and above all making sure that you and your partner trust each other absolutely and making sure that both partners are responsive and consenting at all times. A big part of BDSM is allowing the other person to have control, so only practice it with someone that you know absolutely will respect your safe words and limits as well as put your safety over their sexual gratification. Also never be afraid to tell your limits. Every rational person should have some lines that cannot be crossed(real self harm for instance) and if a dominant believes otherwise then they are not grounded in reality and you should walk away, doubly so if they try to downplay a limit you may have from past trauma. For best safe practices for impact play, first make sure to inspect all of the instruments for breaks and discard any broken or cracked instruments as they can cause actual harm as well as making sure the instruments are clean. Also before play make sure that all participants are not under the influence of any alcohol, pain killers, or any other substance that can affect pain tolerance or bodily functions. While doing impact play focus mainly on areas such as the butt, thighs, and calves while keeping away from areas with internal organs as well as the neck, hips, knees, tailbone, and head. For electrostimulation, thick and dry skin such as the calf is sensitive with thin and dry skin like the inner thigh being more so. Glans are much more sensitive, inside the vagina is even more, wet/sweaty skin is 10% more sensitive, and skin injuries resist 90 times less than normal tissue and as such should never be involved in electrostimulation play.
Kinks(BDSM And Pain Play Best Practices Sources)
Kinks(Breath Play And Best Practices)
Now let’s talk about breath play and some of the best practices when dealing with it. Breath play is pretty straight forward with it being people deriving sexual satisfaction from having their breathing restricted, whether it be from choking, being wrapped up, or gas masks/other breathing apparatuses. For obvious reasons, breath play can be very risky and hazardous when performed incorrectly so there needs to be a large amount of care and caution taken. As such, the best practices for breath play are to never engage in breath play alone or with someone who you do not trust completely, always have some sort of nonverbal trigger that will cause the partner in control to stop the scene immediately(cannot effectively talk while choking) as well as looking for signs of discomfort or being unable to breath such as face changing color or unresponsiveness, always test equipment to make sure it does not cause real harm(for instance if you plan on using a collar, make sure that it will break before actually choking a person, if using a breathing apparatus make sure that there is no internal way of restricting air flow and that all parts are operational), if choking with the hands be delicate and make sure to not cause damage to the neck, and always have a way to quickly contact emergency services.
Kinks(ABDL)
Now let’s talk about ABDL which stands for adult baby diaper lover. This one is pretty straightforward with the participants getting sexual gratification from acting like babies and wearing diapers. There aren’t really any personal risks to doing ABDL aside from possible extended contact with feces or urine, so basically just need to make sure to clean the diaper and body of the participant regularly.
Kinks(CNC)
Next let’s talk about CNC which stands for consensual non consent. That may sound like an oxymoron but basically the people who have this fetish have a fantasy for forced play, but for safety and consent reasons will pre-authorize the forced play. The best practices for CNC are to always have a safe word or gesture that will stop the scene no matter what and make sure to only do it with someone you trust completely.
Kinks(Cuckolding)
Next is cuckolding. Cuckolding is basically just people getting sexual gratification from watching other people have intercourse, usually their significant other. This kink is quite safe and basically the only possible risk could come with the partner who is watching getting jealous, so just make sure to do this with someone who will not get jealous or confrontational.
Kinks(Exhibitionism)
Next is exhibitionism which refers to people getting sexually excited by being naked or doing sexual things in public, in front of other people, or even online. The best practices for public exhibitionism are:
Do it at a time when you should be the least likely to encounter kids(10pm-4am usually with it being less likely to get caught the closer to 4 am you go)
Scout for cameras before hand including checking cars for dash cams. Bathrooms are usually a solid choice as there cannot be cameras in them.
Wear a mask during the exhibitionism.
If you get stopped by the police beforehand do not go through with it. Make sure to follow all laws once you are clothed again.
For online exhibitionism:
Think through whatever you share very carefully, both explicitly and through the smaller details. Always check your environment beforehand for things that may contain your name, address, face or other personally identifiable info(pictures, mail, room ornaments, mirrors, custom phone case, uncovered tattoos, uncovered identifiable facial features, etc.).
For least risk, exhibitionism should only include genitals. The risk goes up the more personally identifiable features are included with the most risky showing full face nude with ID. While it is your choice(Assuming you are over the age of consent in your territory. If not, do not post anything as you are not only putting yourself at risk, which is bad enough and you may come to seriously regret, but also making anyone who may come across your photos a potential criminal as well.), I would highly recommend taking measures to cover your face and heavily limit personal information available. With AI face detection software becoming more widespread, the images could be found by anyone and with so much information being included on the internet it is a lot easier to track someone down through even seemingly innocuous information like a name, especially if you have an uncommon name or other unique info. If someone named John Smith exposed their info on the internet they would have an a lot smaller chance of people actually finding out because it is such a generic name whereas someone named Zephyr Flintock would be almost assured.
Kinks(Findom)
Now let’s talk about findom. Findom is basically people who get sexual gratification from paying somebody to dominate them. Best practice for this is to basically just not let yourself get taken advantage of. Your financial wellbeing should come before kink.
Kinks(Feet)
Next up is feet. People who are into feet usually enjoy activities such as worshipping feet, licking feet, rubbing feet, and probably anything else you can think of to do with them. The only real hazards are bacterial, so just make sure that the feet are free of athlete’s foot and grime and the participants are not sick before engaging.
Kinks(Water Sports)
Now let’s talk about water sports otherwise known as pee play. The people who engage in this kink enjoy being covered in and/or drinking pee. Urine naturally contains some bacteria so there will always be some risk of sickness, but it can usually be fine for healthy non-immunocompromised people. Although urine does contain ammonia which can cause sickness and even death in high concentrations, so spread out the water sports play.
Kinks(Hypnosis)
Now for the final kink I will be talking about in the original guide: hypnosis. People with this kink get sexual gratification from being hypnotized for sexual purposes, most likely for loss of control reasons. Hypnotism comes in a lot of different forms and can affect different people very differently so it is hard to describe a general experience. Best safety practices are to make sure all the physical needs of both partners are met beforehand, make sure that both parties are awake, energized, and alert, and make sure that your partner is someone who you can trust completely and that you have an open and honest discussion about limits and what you want/expect from hypnosis.