BAME Advice Column 

Here is what other BAME students and staff said: 

Embrace the New Experience 

• Be open-minded and embrace new ideas and cultures. 

• Get involved in clubs and events to meet new people. 

• Focus on building meaningful relationships

• Embrace Diversity: Engage with people from different backgrounds. 

• Celebrate your cultural background and be proud of who you are

• Go out and do everything

• As daunting as it is, push yourself out of your comfort zone - go to new places; you’ll be surprised who you can meet; most people are as nervous as you!

• Try to make friends with people in your course in the year above you - they can give you lots of helpful advice

• You do not need to be everyone’s friend, you will not always click with people and it is okay to not want to be friends with some.

“Give everything a go and remember everything happens for a reason”

“I would also say don't lose who you are - it is really easy to fall into the trap of doing things for the first time because it feels adult or your friends are doing it, but if it's something you've never been comfortable doing before (I'm talking smoking, drugs etc) then don't if that's not you. It's ok to say "nah I'm alright"

Manage Your Time Wisely 

• Use a planner to stay organized. 

• Prioritize essential tasks and break them into manageable chunks. 

•  Allocate specific times for studying and socializing

• Stay focused on long-term goals and remember your academic and career aspirations.

• Be flexible and willing to adapt your plans. 

• Don’t be afraid to use your extensions if you need them for your assignments 

“Do not waste your time on useless things, stick to your schedule and studies. No one and nothing will bring back the time/opportunity lost. Read all different perspectives on any topic to understand it better. Miss a lecture but don't miss the reading”

Take Care of Your Health 

• Prioritise sleep and maintain a balanced diet. 

• Incorporate regular physical activity to keep your energy levels up. 

• Seek Support from university support services or your friends and family 

• Contact professors, academic advisors, or counsellors if you need help

• Form study groups and seek support from classmates. 

“Listen to your mind and body, take time for yourself and stop socialising 24/7”

Financial Management 

• Keep track of your expenses and stick to a budget. 

• Find a part-time job that aligns with your schedule..  9. Maintain a Positive Mindset - Stay positive and see mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth. 10. Enjoy the Journey Have fun, make memories, and savor the experience.

• Save up as much money as possible 

“University can be isolating, but you'll find your people. There may not be many or the large friend groups you are used to at home, but quality over quantity! You'll also learn how to be so comfortable with your own company and enjoy it - there are so many things to look forward to and growing in your autonomy and developing your values is a process to treasure. On worrying about your choices - whatever choice you make at the moment will be the right one. You have the work ethic and determination to make the most out of things, and even if it's really not for you in the end, you'll still have learned important skills. There is so much to gain and sometimes we just need to look at things with a different perspective and growth mindset.”

“Stay true to yourself and don’t lose your identity to fit in.”

“Enjoy it a bit more - it’s over a lot quicker than you think.”

“Relax and enjoy your time because these years go by so fast”

“Be confident and strong, don't be shy”

“Be more confident”

“To enjoy it!!!”

Put yourself out there!!

• You have to be proactive and approachable, people are not going to find you - you have to find them! 

• Orientation Events: Attend university-organized events to meet new people.

• Join Societies: Participate in clubs related to your interests or cultural background.

• Ask people to hang out again. York is full of beautiful cafe’s and places to eat, nothing brings people together like good food! Or go sightseeing - take full advantage of living in a tourist city. 

Putting yourself out there for a month or two of discomfort is worth 3 years of being comfortable with your friends and your support network. Sometimes your friends will be people you were least expecting and maybe have very little in common at the start! Whilst you wait - strengthen the friendships you already have, FaceTime your friends and family and TELL them you're struggling.

Be Mindful of Intersectionality 

• Respect Differences: Be open and respectful of diverse backgrounds.

• Shared Experiences: Connect with peers with similar experiences and challenges.

Communicate Openly

• Be Authentic: Share your thoughts and experiences genuinely.

• Show Interest: Ask questions and show interest in others' perspectives.

• Try to find shared interests and experiences.

Making friends on your course

Having peers to talk to about course content, upcoming exams and assignments can be incredibly valuable throughout your time at university. Also, just having someone to sit next to in lectures can motivate you to attend! 

Be Proactive and Approachable

• Join Societies: Every course has a society - go to their events and meet people from your course. 

• Go to Departmental Events: You may end up connecting with those in the year above who can give you some tips and hacks on tackling your course.

• Class Engagement: Participate in class and join study groups.

"At the start of the year, try and make conversation with people sitting next to you in lectures or tutorials, it's much easier then as everyone is eager to make friends. If you're not in first year or it's later on in the year when friend groups have already been established - try attending events hosted by the department or course societies where you're bound to meet more people on your course who are also looking to mingle with others."

Organising your time 

“Time management is so important to master at university because there will always be things to do, no matter if it's catching up on reading, meeting up with a friend you haven't seen in a while, going to your job or planning ahead for life after uni.”

Having visual representations of your schedule will help you clearly plan what needs to be done. 

Google Calendar 

• You can sync your university timetable with a Google calendar 

• Putting all of your plans in one calendar can help with organising your time and prevent conflicting schedules 

• You can include your work shifts, deadlines and any tasks that need doing too 

• Use to-do lists and do the most urgent and important things first 

“Calendars are so so helpful. Scheduling time for everything helps you develop a routine and make sure that there is protected time to unwind and still have enough time allocated for everything else you need to do”

Balancing everything 

• If you can and are lucky enough to have an understanding manager, tell them in advance when you have deadlines/exams so they don't schedule you. As nice as it is to make money, uni comes first and that should be the focus. 

• In terms of social life, don't die for nights out - do small lunches and catch-ups with friends during busy periods or library sessions if you want to hang with friends but still work. Trying to do everything at once is not sustainable as you need time for yourself.

• Do your assignments on time to allow time for everything else. As tempting as it is to save it for the night before a deadline, the quicker you get it done and over with, the more time you have for other things (guilt-free). And you won’t have that horrible feeling of knowing you could have done better on an assignment had you not written most of it at 2 am surviving on energy drinks alone. 

• Prioritize health, incorporate mindfulness practices, and use downtime wisely. Make time for yourself so you don’t burn yourself out. 

• Seek help from professors, classmates, or campus support services and connect with other students.

• Establish a daily routine and allocate specific time blocks for different activities. 

• Surround yourself with people who are motivated, helpful and want to excel. You will be able to find balance with the right people who also prioritise the same things you do. Saying ‘no’ to plans is much easier to those who understand and don’t take it personally. 

“Bang out all your work as soon as you can so when you are socialising you aren’t stressing about wanting to get home and study, work to a limit. Money  comes and goes so you don’t need to fully chase it when you’re studying”

“Time structuring and putting things in a timetable is always helpful, but it is not always easy to stick with it when life is unpredictable and hectic. I try to make a rough timetable and don't blame myself if it does not exactly go how I planned. One thing I've tried to do is create 'non-negotiables' in very small chunks, eg: this week I MUST do 2 hours of reading - this can be done anytime but I have to complete it within the week. Setting small goals like this help me stay consistent and get a sense of achievement whilst still doing a little something to chip away at all the work.”

Adapt

• Try your best to adapt to the environment around you. As motivating as it can be to see other cultures integrated into your learning experience, this will not always be the case. Try your best to engage with your existing course content - your grades depend on it. If you do find any content that feels problematic and makes you uncomfortable, speak to a trusted member of staff in your department or email your module leader. 

Focus on yourself 

• Find ‘your people’ at university. If you look, you will be able to find people from diverse backgrounds in York - just takes a little bit more effort. Attending different cultural societies and events is a great way to do this.

• Try finding things that make you happy. It can feel a little isolating to be around a bunch of people you know you can’t fully relate to, no matter how hard you try. Still, there can also be joy in spending time alone and truly getting to know yourself and what you value/want from life and your interpersonal relationships.

Advocate for change

• Form a collective of students and advocate for change. Or if there are already decolonial groups at the university seek these out and make your voice heard. 

• The theoretical part of the course can be balanced by exploring reading options. When doing your assignments, seek out diverse research. Focus more on getting practical exposure to the working environment and the trends. You can either get this through your department's help or interaction with representatives during external seminars/workshops/meet-ups.

'othering' as defined in the Cambridge Dictionary, is the act of treating someone as though they are not part of a group and are different in some way.

Seek Support Networks 

• BAME Support Hubs: Utilize university resources for BAME students.

• Mentorship: Connect with mentors who share your background for guidance. Seek out BAME staff at the university. The BAME Chill Corner holds a ‘BAME Bliss Hour’ where you can speak to staff of minority ethnicities about anything! 

• Counselling: Seek help if facing difficulties adjusting. Your department has a wellbeing officer, reach out to them!

• Workshops: Attend diversity and inclusion workshops at the university for insights and tips. These are advertised university-wide and also by @yusu_bame and @bcc_uoy on Instagram.  

“Often, I find it best to distance yourself from these interactions and seek other support and groups where you do truly feel welcomed. However, it is easier said than done and many integral interactions at university where you may experience 'othering' are simply unavoidable. When in these situations, I remind myself to have thick skin, shake it off and simply try again. Sometimes I tell myself to give the benefit of the doubt (maybe they are just having a bad day!), other times I remind myself that I do belong and if I have something important and valuable to contribute, I should say it anyway, regardless of how others make me feel.”

“Initially I tend to retreat into myself and treat myself to things that make me happy. I’m a big fan of movies so I’d watch a lot of them. I’d also reach out to friends from ‘home’, it was particularly helpful since many of my friends were attending uni away from home as well so there was someone to commiserate with. After I’d plucked up the courage to join some clubs at my university, I calmed myself with the knowledge that being seen as an outcast in one space didn’t mean that I was an outcast everywhere. There were people who accepted me and some of them even existed in the same space as the people who didn’t. I could just go where I was wanted”

“Whenever this happened during my undergraduate degree, I would reach out to a ‘home’ friend or call my sister. The act of speaking to someone who knows me and values me for me always grounded me even if I didn’t speak directly about the incident in question. I think as I’ve gotten older, it rarely happens because I don’t tend to take on or value the opinions of people who don’t know me.”

“In any situation, remember why you are here and what you want to achieve. You have to make extra efforts to be successful and that is a reality.”

“One thing to remember is that you can't control how other view you but you CAN control how you see yourself. Be sure to uplift yourself and hold a strong sense of self.”

Acknowledge university is hard 

• It is important to realise university is a jump from school because you have the added element of being an adult and navigating new experiences you never had to.

• It is okay to be behind! Everyone falls behind at some point or feels like they are, do what you can manage. You are smart enough to get here and you are smart enough to get through it. You may be used to being top of your class but you will quickly realise that everyone else has also been in the same position. University is meant to be challenging - embrace the challenge and enjoy it for what it is. 

• If you can, be transparent with your family on how well you are doing or if you are struggling. Try to have honest and open conversations with them to let them know you are doing your best.

Seek support 

•  If you are really struggling with uni, ask for help and speak to a staff member. 

• If you can't talk to your family about the pressure because they don't get it - speak to a friend, ideally a friend who is also at uni but maybe not doing your course and just rant, get it off your chest. 

“Sometimes if I was having difficulty understanding something I would use YouTube or a site that explains things in a simple way and I would practice explaining the concept to myself and see if I understood what I said - really good way of checking you have a firm understanding of what is going on”. 

There is more to university than your degree!

• Doing things other than your assignments or reading is important. It will take your mind off the pressure and make you realise there is more to life than your grades. Your grades are important but so are other things. 

• Focus on your personal goals and keep yourself busy. Focus on what you can do and what is personally important to you! Being too tough on yourself can be physically and mentally taxing. 

• Ensure you have hobbies and join societies. They help you self-develop in more ways than one.

“At uni, I met a lot of people who didn’t have these same pressures and they taught me the value of letting go every once in a while and trying to find joy where you can. They somehow always had time for fun. I tried to adopt their philosophies into my own life by making sure to schedule in time to do non-academic things so that my life at university didn’t just feel like one massive studying session. That helped me a lot. Doing that taught me how much I value a work-life balance.”

“Reminding myself that it is my life and all I can do is try my best. If you don’t do as well as your parents want at university it is not the end of the world. You can still be successful even if things at uni don’t exactly go to plan.”

Loneliness is not an uncommon feeling at university. Learning to spend time with yourself and enjoy your own company can be difficult.

• Go for walks → We have a beautiful campus and live in a beautiful city. Reconnecting with nature also does wonders for your mental health. You would be surprised how much a walk can refresh you. If the idea of simply walking with no destination feels boring, try listening to a good upbeat playlist, a podcast or an audiobook during walks. 

“During the walk, it's important to stay mindful and not let myself fester or ruminate over these feelings to the point where I feel deflated and down. Instead, I try to go through why I am feeling that way and then think about how I can reduce these feelings - maybe meeting up with a good friend or reminding myself that I have a place here with some coping humour (I got into uni with the grades I worked hard for, I pay fees etc). It's important to me that I remain lighthearted but also feel reminded that I should not feel shame for my identity at university.”

• Exercise → join a gym, go for a walk/ run or join a random class. You may meet new people you connect with but outside of that exercise does wonders for your mental health. Most sports societies also let you do free trials of one of 2 sessions - give them a go!

• Reconnect with your existing networks. It can be easy to fall out of touch with old friends when you get to uni. Sometimes a quick phone call is all you need to feel a little bit better. 

“Reminding myself that if I feel alone, then it’s often not intentional exclusion. People tend to be very focused on their own life so feeling alone or excluded may just as often be due to thoughtlessness rather than by design so I try never to take it personally knowing that I’ll be just as guilty of it as everyone else.”

“ I take a step back - sometimes I need time to myself or with my loved ones to remember how great I am. If I can't do that, then remembering that everyone probably feels the same way you do, even if they aren't BAME, for other reasons so you aren't truly alone in the feeling.”

Expand your social network 

• Tag along with someone you know to social events or if you know someone who is studying with others, ask to join in! Most people will happily say yes. You have to put yourself out there. 

• Communicate with your friends and family, and let them know how you are feeling. No one can read your mind. 

• Stay true to yourself but also learn to adapt yourself to different groups of people. Be open-minded to new unexpected connections.

• Go to support groups and events specifically catered to BAME students - everyone is super welcoming! 

Recognising microaggressions can be helpful sometimes. If you have ever experienced someone saying or acting in a way that feels racist but you cannot say for sure that it is, sometimes all you need is validation for the way you feel. Simply knowing that something is a microaggression can prevent you from feeling like you’re going crazy or you’re imagining things. 

Here are some examples of microaggressions others have faced…

“I get quite a lot of “Where are you from?” To which I always reply the Midlands, Northamptonshire to be precise but my accent is by way of having lived in the south for most of my adult life. Which usually gets followed up with, “But where are you from really?” And to this, I tend to say, well I do have dual nationality as I’m also an Irish citizen as well as a British one, and usually won’t be drawn further during an introductory conversation because that one does annoy me, especially when it’s from UK students.”

“Looking at me when a foreign name is mentioned in class. Saying I should be good at calculation for being brown. Congratulating me for spelling things right in English.”

“Fake coughing to me when i was in city centre, stopped me on the road and told me not to eat bat because the covid and i am chinese, or look asian”

Seek comfort from those you trust

In an ideal world, you will not have to deal with microaggressions. But they do happen. It can be challenging and scary to confront people about microaggressions. Some may get offended, it might make the situation dangerous for you and maybe more mentally taxing for yourself. It is okay to try and brush it off if you think that is how you can protect yourself and your mental health. 

“I spoke to my friends, we laughed about how crazy people can be and discussed how it made me feel. Laughing about situations can help you cope, you realise 'you' aren't the problem and it makes you feel less alone.”

“Honestly, talking about them helps me process and validate my feelings and experiences. I've had situations where people have made comments either about my appearance (back-handed complements) or have said something really ignorant and in the moment I didn't feel I could say anything - in those moments the initial 'oh' moment hits then you sit and think about it before you feel angry/sad. Allowing myself to go through that emotional processing first is important, then I'll talk to a friend or just shout really loudly to let out my frustrations or I type all my angry words out until I'm done venting and delete it from my device and from my mind - sometimes letting go is the easiest way to process”

“Just laugh it off and don’t engage in the comments because they will continue it if they know it affects you”

Look after yourself

No doubt these experiences can fill you with so many emotions like sadness, anger, and frustration. In these moments, recognising that ‘you’ come first and looking after yourself is your priority can help you feel better. Do what makes you feel good. 

“I checked with my friends to confirm my experiences, then fell back on to my regular self-soothing practices - treating myself to things I enjoyed to make up for the temporary sadness that the experience brought me”

Address the situation

If it is safe for you to do so and you feel comfortable, addressing the microaggressions can prevent them from happening again to yourself and others. 

“I also think now I'm older, addressing the situation if you are comfortable to do so. Calling people who are staff members out for micro-aggressions can be hard when you are a student but if it means you won't be publicly embarrassed again and you stand your ground as someone who is not to be messed with is massive for your own empowerment and reassurance. If you don't feel comfortable doing that - reach out to a member of staff you trust. If you don't have one then ask a friend to come with you.”

“I try to unpick what the cause is because for me, intention is critical to whether I will be offended or not. For example, I have naturally curly hair and I have found that overseas students - particularly those from cultures where curly hair is uncommon - have a tendency to touch my hair without permission. While I would find that very aggressive from a home student, I find that I am slightly more tolerant from someone who has a different cultural background as it tends to come from a place of interest or curiosity rather than rudeness. However, I do say politely that it’s usually best to ask for permission first”

“If I can I correct the individual, but most time I rant to my mates about it. It makes me feel seen when my friends validate those kind of experiences.”

“Speak to someone about it acknowledge it was wrong and let the person know it is not okay.”

Embrace Your Identity

• Cultural Sharing: Share your cultural background with classmates and invite them to cultural events. Share your culture through food, music, and traditions. Educate peers about your cultural background.

• Religious Groups: Join or create religious and cultural groups to find like-minded peers.

• Be Resilient and Patient - Give it time. - Stay positive. 

“I would say don’t integrate. I’ve lived in York for almost 10 years (having moved from London) and yes, it possibly is one of the whitest places in the UK, but people are people wherever you are. … I am me all the time. And I know it’s probably easier for me to say this as someone who is older and has worked in professional services for almost 20 years and therefore got used to navigating mostly male, almost all white spaces, but it doesn’t benefit anyone to flex to a point of inauthenticity. I have always found my tribe through sports and my tribe is anyone who likes to play sports, is welcoming to others who want to play sports and then have a drink (alcoholic or not) afterwards no matter the outcome. So I would say don’t integrate, find your tribe through whatever interests you have and they will enable you to be yourself and by being yourself, you’ll feel more comfortable. *My only caveat is that as long as being your authentic self doesn’t involve making others feel uncomfortable and using culture differences as a get out of jail free card (such as touching someone’s hair without permission).”

“Don’t water yourself down, live in your authenticity. People will either accept you, adapt or leave. You have to find the courage to be disliked and you can bolster your self-esteem by doing things you love.”

Find your Community 

• BAME and cultural societies. Attend cultural events

• Engage with the Wider Community:  Be open and approachable. Join clubs and activities.

•  Seek Support and Mentorship: Find mentors who understand your experience. Use campus resources for counselling and guidance. 

“Join societies that are centred around global majority cultures and try to make friends there. If you surround yourself with others who will share your experience, it will give you a taste of home.”

“Find other BAME people who you can relate to or be yourself around. It’s important to have that support.”

Fit in

“Just be friendly and say hi. Most white people will be friendly if you try and be nice to them, have an open mind and teach them about your culture and answer their questions they may have. If they get anything wrong just try and be nice and educate them rather than expecting them to know”

“Be open-minded to the environment, you'll find something you may enjoy or like. Also having multiple groups of friends with similar interests”

Focus on ‘You’

• Develop coping strategies and stay connected with home.

• Practice self-care. 

• Socialise via hobbies and similar interests

• Be outgoing, lively and approachable!

“Go to societies, pick up a sport, do as much as you can and find the places and people that you enjoy!”

Change

• Address challenges proactively; speak up against bias; and advocate for diversity. There are plenty of opportunities on campus to do so. Join groups that are already targeting these problems. 

“By finding your community, engaging with others, sharing your culture, seeking support, and addressing challenges, you can create a fulfilling university experience as a BAME student in a majority-white environment”

“Join societies (despite the stares and the reactions), be the one who hosts pre's or events so people know who you are.”

“Host cultural events to allow white people to learn that there is more than the stereotypes they think”

“When you're used to a place with diversity, it's easy to feel small and lost in a majority white environment. It can be tempting to change yourself or make yourself seem insignificant to fit in or appease others. It is also frustrating that the onus often falls on us to take the first step or that we must have a good idea to be respected or seen as intelligent. Despite this, and how scary it can be sometimes, try to speak up and reach out anyway. This is something I've been actively working on and I find that although it's a big step out of my comfort zone and it may not always work, I come away with less regrets after having spoken about my ideas or making the first step to reach out. Again, it's an intimidating and often isolating experience, but I try to take back the narrative and feel some sense of control by acting on small things I can do to make it a little better for myself.”