Advent Retreat - Day 3

Faith Story

I grew up in a very religious family. I was taught all the prayers and could recite them all from memory. Just like most devout Filipino families, we attended mass together almost without fail. Our subdivision would also have Block Rosary where church ladies would visit our house and we would spend 15 minutes praying every night for one week until its time to move to another house. I would sometimes be a sacristan during mass and joined the choir. If all people saw were these things I did on the outside, they’d probably say I was an ok kid. Too good for my own good.

Then I entered High School. Not a few of us would say High School was the more memorable part of growing up, and I’m no exception. Being part of an all-boys school, dito ko natutunan lahat ng kalokohan. I smoked my first cigarette and drank my first shot of vodka at the age of 12. Little did I know that these were the seeds that would later on lead to a life of vice and excess in my mid teens to late 20s. Also whenever I knew I would face a tough exam I would obtain leakages together with my classmates so we could breeze through them. I had one too many late night gimmicks and drinking sprees. This would continue after HS. Later on, I would try drugs. Pretty soon, my irresponsibility would catch up with me and I will find myself kicked out of college. This was the first major blow of my life thus far.

Despite the religious exterior, I was doing a lot of illicit deeds. And it didn’t bother me that I was doing wrong. I figured that for as long as I was meeting my religious duty and obligation, I’ll be ok. This is what Jesus probably meant when he rebuked the Pharisees for being like white-washed tombs: it appears clean on the outside but full of dead men’s bones on the inside.

Fast forward, I am now working in a training company. The first thing I notice is that the people who worked there were not just about work. They were also committed to their faith. But they expressed it in a non-religious way. One time I was in the car with my boss and on the way back to the office from a client meeting. The conversation turned to faith and he asked me if I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I didn’t know yet at the time what that exactly meant so I said no. And he led me into a prayer. Little did I know that encounter would begin the healing process of opening my eyes to see the real Jesus. It was not immediate, as I still had the same group of friends, and we all would graduate to even more potent drugs. I would pop a tab when I’m out with them, and bring some when we go beach tripping.

My turnaround would come one day when one of my close work colleagues approached me to ask if I want to join a Lifegroup. I asked what it was all about and he just said we talk there about life, faith, personal experiences and just enjoy each other’s company. I was suspicious at first, but joined anyway. I did not regret it. The Lord used that work colleague as the next touch that would allow me to clearly see Him. It was in that group where I did not just get to know about the Lord, but really know Him. Not just information or through religiosity like how I was brought up, but through a growing relationship with Him and sharing life with others who are on the same journey towards Him. The more I spent time with these new friends the less appealing I found the things I used to enjoy. Later on I would make a public declaration that indeed, “Jesus is my Lord and Savior”, through baptism. As I turned from my selfish ways and began to follow my Savior, I realized I was homeward bound, back to the arms of my Father Who welcomes repentant sinners and wretches like me into His family.

From that point on, I no longer sat on the throne of my own life. Jesus, my King, now occupies it.

The Lord came at the right time to open my eyes to the fact that had I continued on my course, my life would have ended in disaster. I needed to be bothered by the things that I do wrong, and bring them to Him in humble submission because He is faithful to forgive. Romans 6:23 says: “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” I needed to be rescued from my badness. In the same breath, no amount of good deeds or religiosity can ever earn me my salvation. Isaiah 64:6 says “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.” I also needed to be rescued from my goodness. Eph 2:8-9 says “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”

By God’s grace, I am saved from both my badness and goodness. This sinner is forever grateful to my Lord, Savior and King, Jesus for giving me the eyes to see the real Him and the eyes to believe, all the while providing me the strength to turn from my selfish ways and follow Him in joyful surrender.

My friends, I pray this same Savior, Who called me to Himself, would meet you where you are just as He did with me and set you on your path back home, back to the arms of our Father, where we belong.

May Jesus, our King, richly bless you!

Coach Aikee Enciso, a sinner saved by grace.