Des Moines, IA

Prior to visiting I reviewed TripAdvisor, which back in 2012 used to be a little secret I had with the internet, but now has become a race to the lowest common denominator. A reviewer "The VMan-13" eloquently wrote, "They had me by ‘hello, you can keep your concealed firearm on you, and mask (sic) is not mandatory’. Beautiful building with interesting (sic) history and good (sic) variety of exhibits.". I decided to visit, well-masked, anyhow, but kept an eye out for a "knuckledragging (sic), unibrow, Neanderthal wearing a red, white, and blue wifebeater with flip-flops". I breathed a sigh of relief when there was no sign of him - the tour was just me and the Missus. 

Our guide Gale did a fine job showing us the best parts of the largest gold-gilded domed capitol building in the U.S. She mentioned that during construction in 1873-84, the two small female statues flanking the grand staircase were previously rejected by the Illinois Statehouse because they were too risqué. This made me think of a statue of a female gracing the nearby Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Civil War¹ Monument erected in 1895 which features a topless woman proudly displaying her breasts (of which she should be justly proud). Supposedly they‘re a big hit with tittering schoolboys and sophomoric quadragenarians. BTW: Gale mentioned at the end of the tour that she would not be getting a Covid vaccination as she didn't want to be part of anyone's test project - well so much for that sigh of relief. 

Yes, the dome is actually made of gold, sheets of 23-carat gold to be exact . . . costing taxpayers 500 grand every 35 years.  

Endnotes:

¹ For those of you that live in the other 49 states this particular war is also called the "War Between the States," the "Great Rebellion," the "War of the Rebellion," the "Slaveholders' Rebellion," "War of Separation," the "War of Secession," the "War for Southern Independence," the "Second American Revolution," the "Second War for Independence," the "Third War for Independence,"² the "Revolution of 1860,"  the "War for the Union," the "Ordeal of the Union," the "War to Save Slavery," the "War of Northern Aggression," the "War of Yankee Aggression," the "War of Southern Aggression," the "Confederate War," "Buchanan's War," "Mr. Lincoln's War," and "Mr. Davis's War," the "Late War," the "War of the Sections," and the "Brothers' War."³ 

² I agree, that's a head-scratcher, though according to some, the "War of 1812" is the second such war.

³ No matter what it is called, some continue to wonder, "why was there a Civil War?"  

03.26.2021