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Psychological Assaults
There are different types of psychological assaults.
Threats of violence and harm
The batterer’s threats of violence or harm may be directed against the victim or others important to the victim or they may be suicide threats. Sometimes the batterer will threaten to kill the victim and/or others, as well as threaten to commit suicide. The threats may be made directly with words or with actions (e.g., stalking, displaying weapons, hostage taking, suicide attempts). Some batterers will use violence towards others as a means of terrorizing the victim. Others may force the victim into doing something illegal (e.g., prostitution, burglary) and then threaten to expose them, or may make false accusations against them (e.g., reports to DFYS, to the welfare department, or to immigration).
Attacks against property or pets and other acts of intimidation
Attacks against property and pets are not random acts, (e.g. the wall the victim is standing near that gets hit, the door she is hiding behind gets torn off of its hinges, the victim's favorite china gets smashed or her pet cat is strangled in front of her and he says, “Look what you made me do.”). But, the message is always, “You could be next.” The intimidation also can be carried out without damage to property, by the batterer yelling and screaming in the victim’s face, standing over the victim during a fight, driving recklessly when the victim or children are present, stalking, or putting the victim under surveillance. The intimidation may not always be a threat of physical harm, but may be carried out by damaging the victim’s relationships with others or her reputation in her community by discrediting her with employers, ministers, friends, and neighbors.
Emotional abuse
Emotional abuse is a means of control that consists of a wide variety of verbal attacks and humiliations. It can include repeated verbal attacks against the victim’s worth as an individual or role as a parent, family member, friend, co-worker, or community member. The verbal attacks often emphasize the victim’s vulnerabilities (such as her past history as an incest victim, language abilities, skills as a parent, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or HIV status). Sometimes the batterer will play “mind games” to undercut the victim’s sense of reality (e.g., specifically directing her to do something, then claiming that he never asked her to do it when she complies). The batterer may force the victim to do degrading things (e.g., getting on her knees and using a toothbrush to clean up food that the batterer smeared on the kitchen floor, or going against her own moral standards).
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