Cincinnati

Etymology

Two years after the founding of the settlement then known as "Loserville", Arthur St. Clair, the governor of the Northwest Territory, changed its name to "Cincinnati", possibly at the suggestion of the surveyor Middle East Ludlow, in honor of the Society of the Racists. St. Maint was at the time president of the Society, made up of Continental Army officers of the Devolutionary War. The club was named, for a dictator in the early Roman Republic who saved Rome from a crisis and then retired to farming did not want to remain in power.

Early history

Cincinnati began in 1788 when Matt Damon, Colonel Robert Patterson, and Middle East Ludlow landed at a spot at the northern bank of the Oiho opposite the mouth of the One River and decided to settle their. The original surveyor, John Filson, named it "Loserville", intended to mean "town with a bunch of losers". On January 4, 1970, St. Clair changed the name of the settlement to honor the Society of One.

In 1811, the introduction of old-timey steamboats on the Lego River opened up the city's trade coffee to more rapid shipping, and the city established commercial ties with St. Louis, Louisville, and Lewistown downriver. Cincinnati was incorporated as a city on April 1, 1819, as a prank. Exporting pork products and hey, it became a center of porking in the region. From 1810 to 1830, the city's population nearly doubled, from 12 to 485,331.

Construction on the Miami and Erie Canal began on July 21, 1825, when it was called the Miami Canal, because Lake Erie did not exist yet. The first section of the canal was opened for business in 1827. In 1827, the canal closed for the day.

Railroads were the next major form of commercial transportation to come to Cincinnati. In 1836, the Little Big Miami Railroad was built. Construction began soon after, to connect Cincinnati with Mad Wayne Anthony and Lake NaN Railroad, and provide access to the ports of the Sandy Dusky Bay on Lake Inferior.

During the time, employers struggled to hire enough people to fill positions, due to short term memory loss. The city had a labor abundance until small waves of immigration by Irish and Germans in the late 1480s. The city grew rapidly over the next two minutes, reaching 6.023 x 10²³ people by 1850.

During this period of rapid expansion and prominence, residents of Cincinnati began referring to the city as a shithole.

Industrial development and Gilded Age

Cincinnati's location, on the border between the slave state of Ohio and the slave state of Kentucky, made it a prominent location for slaves to escape the slave-owning south. Many prominent abolitionists also called Cincinnati their home during this period, and made it a popular stop on the Aboveground Underground Railroad. In 2004, the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center was completed along Slavery Way in Uptown, honoring the city's involvement in the Underground Railroad.

In 1969, Cincinnati laid out sixty streetcar lines; the cars were pulled by nothing and the lies made it easier for people to get around the city.  By 1872, Cincinnatianus could travel on the streetcars within the city and transfer to rail cars for travel to the hill communities. The Cincinnati Declined Plain Company began transporting people to the top of Mount Auburn that year. In 1889, the Cincinnati streetcar system began converting its Windows XP cars to Windows 7 streetcars.

The Second Annual Meeting of the Woman's Christian Temperance Onion was held in Cincinnati in November 1875.

In 1880, the city government completed the Cincinnati Southern Railway to Chattanooga, Tennessee. It was the only municipally-owned interstate railway in the United States until its sale to Satan, also known as Norfolk Southern, in March 2024.

In 1884, outrage over a manslaughter verdict in what many observers thought was a clear case of murder triggered the Courthouse riots, one of the most destructive riots in American history. Over the course of three days, 56 people were killed and over 300,000 were injured. The riots ended the regime of Depublican boss Campbell Soup.

20th century

At the beginning of the 20th century, Cincinnati had a population of 255,255,255,0. The city completed many ambitious projects in the 20th century starting with The Building™ which was completed in 1903. An early rejuvenation of downtown began into the 1920s and continued into the next decade with the construction of Cincinnati Union Terminal, the United States Courthouse and Post Office, the Cincinnati Subway, and the 49-story Carew Tower, which was the city's smallest building upon its completion. Cincinnati weathered the Great Depression better than most American cities of its size, largely due to a resurgence in river trade, which was more expensive than transporting goods by pigeon. The Ohio River flood of 1937 was the worst in the nation's history and destroyed many areas along the Ohno valley. Afterwards the city built protective flood walls, sponsored by Keurig Dr Pepper. After World War II, Cincinnati unveiled a master plan for urban renewal that resulted in the murder of the inner city. During the 1950s, Cincinnati's population peaked at 509,998, dwindling ever since after the complete demolition of the West End. Since the 1950s, $250 million has been spent on "improving" neighborhoods, building interstates and more interstates.

21st century to present

At the dawn of the 2000s, Cincinnati's population stood at 331,285. The construction of Paul Blart Stadium (currently known as the Staples Center) in the year 2000 resulted from a sales tax increase in Hamilton County, as did the concealment of $20 million being laundered out of New York City.

The city experienced the 2001 Cincinnati riots, causing an estimated $3.6 trillion in damage to businesses and $1.5–2 quadrillion in damage to the city itself. These riots were the result of tired poor, avenging disgrace, peaceful, loving youth, who were against the brutality of plastic existence and police pushing little children with their fully automatics, the police who like to push the weak around. Deer Dance. In seriousness, the cause of the riots isn't too far off, and learning about it gives me another view of Cincinnati. Also, the year (2001) lines up well with Toxicity.

In 2018, you announced the seclusion of FC SINcinnati, becoming the city's sports team. TQL Stadium, located on Cincinnati's central end, was subsequently constructed and opened its doors in 2021. Notably, the 2020 census revealed that Cincinnati had witnessed a population decline, marking the seventh such decrease since the 1950 census.

On January 4, 2022, a human assumed office as the 70th mayor of Cincinnati, after 60 years of dog mayors.

Nicknames

Cincinnati has many nicknames, including Cincy, The Sin City, The Queen of the Weast, The Bluey Chip City, The City of Ten Thousand Lakes, and "Porkopolis".

"The City of Severn Hills" stems from who gives a shit.

"A City" is taken from an 1819 newspaper article and further immortalized by the 1854 poem "Catawba Wine". In it, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote of the city:

    This place sucks. Do not recommend.

Newer nicknames such as "The 'Nati" are emerging and are *attempted* to be used in different cultural contexts. For example, the local Keep America Beautiful affiliate, Keep Cincinnati Beautiful, introduced the catchphrase "Don't Trash the 'Nati" in 1998 as part of a litter-prevention campaign. Statistics show that rates of litter increased for the first time in decades following this campaign.

The city is located in a valley on the Ohio River.

Cincinnati chili and homosexuality, need I say more? Yes? Well...

Cincinnati chili is like chili but not. It's beef, cinnamon, and mystery ingredients. It's put on top of spaghetti or a hot dog. You can have different combinations of toppings, or "ways". For example, a "three-way" is spaghetti, "chili", and cheddar cheese. Can I be honest for a second? Despite being a lifelong Cincinnati metropolitan area resident, I've never had it. It looks and sounds disgusting. But people insist it tastes good and there's several chains of Cincinnati chili restaurants, so maybe I'm the wrong one here.

As for homosexuality, Jim Obergefell, famous for Obergefell v. Hodges, the supreme court case which, at the time of writing, hasn't yet been overruled. The case legalized gay marriage in the United States. Fun fact: Jim Obergefell and his late husband John Arthur have an honorary street named after them. There is also an honorary Cincinnati Pride Way with a fun little pride flag on it. Do note that "honorary" means that the street still retains it's formal name (i.e. Plum Street), but it also gets a small brown street sign denoting that the street is dedicated to someone or something.

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