Egg?

We here at Long Jonsons and Willy beleive that Sliced Egg is the next biggest inovation, rivaling the invention of the wheel and sending a man to the moon. Why do we make such a bold claim? Just think about it!

Eggs have been one of the easiest sources of protien known to mankind. We simply cant live without it! Our muscles are piratically made out of the stuff. There is one big problem however when it comes to eggs, and that is they are not very portable. In fact, they are HIGHLY unportable. in fact they are so unportable that we have a graph showing how unportable they are.

This has indeed been one of sciences most difficult problems. One day though, our God and Savior CEO Cocks Johnson came up with the solution too our problem, and all while eating his trademarked penutbutter, honey mustard, and egg sandwich or as he calls it "Fuck me Sideways Sandwich". he discovered that when he used over-easy eggs, the eggs would just slide off. when he used scrambled eggs, he would always find eggshells in his eggs too. "I don’t mind the extra calcium" Cocks Johnson said, "though it makes it harder to figure out when my cooks put iron shavings and rocks in my eggs". our CEO was at an all time low when he had to fire his head chef for putting too many iron nails in his gogurt. All dark clouds have their silver linings, and Cocks Johnson would soon find his silver lining. He figured out that if he took the ease of boiling eggs, and the easierness of slicing them he would get something never seen before. these eggs would stay on his toast even when he slightly wiggled it, and with a bit of salt and Secret Sauce, they would even have a not bad taste too! he dubbed this invention Sliced Egg, the Best Thing to Happened Since Sliced Toast TM. this was only the start however, as if he wanted this to be commercially viable he would need to perfect his technique. you can learn how he perfected the Egg Whites and the Egg Yolks in the table of contents above.