" Tethered "

2023

This imagery creates a string of connections between our deepest desires and the physical manifestation of sin. The fruit serves as a new depiction of a tempting heartbreak. Rather than using the familiar cracked shape, I chose bullet holes to embody the emotional state of a longing, broken soul. My emphasized handprint feels like a desperate plea, a way of begging for the weight of the reality of my situation to leave my body. I wasn’t concerned with the violence often associated with red, because for me, it signifies comfort. I am red, and so are you. The perpetuated fear of one of our first colors through art and media has never sat right with me. 

The process of making this work was quite unconventional for me. I prayed over the canvas and began painting with no idea in mind. Before I fully understood it, the piece told me it was finished. Imagine for a moment that everything is alive and exists with purpose. In a world like that, discovery, science, art, and misunderstanding all exist for reasons beyond us. Life itself is purposeful. So is death. Everything happens for one reason or another. And sometimes it's not for us to understand or find out, it's just for us to experience. 

This painting emerged in one of my first chapters of reckoning. I had grown frustrated with my past, confused by how disconnected I felt from the truth, even when I held knowledge at my fingertips. Humans are emotional spirits having a physical experience, and both deserve to be seen. This piece represents the moments when you must pry yourself off your knees and dust your own shoulders. It is about choosing to be yourself bravely, and to love what you love, however that shows up in the world. 

I think humans struggle with wanting things that feel good but might not necessarily be good. Deciding whether the pain of growth is more valuable than the temporary satisfaction from the same comfort is the choice. Letting the world understand that I do not have that figured out at all is a very honest moment for me. I hope other people who might chronically “please” decide to choose themselves, if not for their own sake, then for the rest of us who need to do the same. I am motivated to love the Woman that I am wholly because I know how many people are suffering in silence for the sake of validation. 

I hope this draws people to visit the Bible verse this is based on, Matthew 6:21. Even if you are not a Bible reader, I encourage you to analyze it as you would any other excerpt from a historical text, in context.

 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” 

Kind actions and immense love are treasures of this world. My art is my imagination in the physical, but my imagination is more palpable, more valuable than the art itself. In the same way, you, the doer, are more valuable than what you have done.