" Tethered "

2023

The focal point of this painting is the bullet-stricken heart and apple hybrid. This imagery creates a string of connections between our deepest desires and the physical manifestation of sin. The fruit acts as a symbol while transforming into a new depiction of heartbreak. Rather than using the familiar cracked shape, I chose bullet holes because they better embody the emotional state of a broken heart. My emphasized handprint feels like a desperate plea, a way of begging for the heavy weight of this reality to leave my body. 

Red and yellow dominate this piece, with blue and green appearing only as subtle accents. I wanted red, the color of visible blood, to bring this work to life. I wasn’t concerned with the violence often associated with it, because for me, red signifies comfort. I am red, and so are you. The fear of one of our first colors has never sat right with me. 

The process of making this work was quite unconventional for me. I prayed over the canvas and began painting with no idea in mind. Before I fully understood it, the piece told me it was finished. My spirituality is not illogical to me; it is analytical. Imagine for a moment that everything is alive and exists with purpose. In a world like that, discovery, science, art, and misunderstanding all exist for reasons beyond us. Life itself is purposeful. So is death. Everything happens for one reason or another. And sometimes it's not for us to understand or find out, it's just for us to experience. 

This painting emerged in a chapter of reckoning. I had grown frustrated with my past, confused by how disconnected I felt from the truth, even when I held knowledge at my fingertips. Humans are emotional spirits having a physical experience, and both deserve to be seen. This piece represents the moments when you must pry yourself off your knees and dust your own shoulders. It is about choosing to bravely be yourself and to love what you love, however it shows up in the world. 

I think humans struggle with wanting things that feel good but might not necessarily be good. Deciding whether the pain of changing is more worthwhile than the temporary joy of staying the same is a hard choice. Letting the world understand that I do not have that figured out at all is a very honest moment for me. I hope other people who might chronically “please” decide to choose themselves, if not for their own sake, then for the rest of us who need to do the same. I am motivated to love the Woman that I am wholly because I know how many people are suffering in silence for the sake of validation. 

I hope this draws people to visit the Bible verse this is based on, Matthew 6:21. Even if you are not a Bible reader, I encourage you to analyze it as you would any other excerpt from a historical text, in context.

 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” 

This verse reminds me that the things that matter are not physical in this world. Kind actions and immense love are the treasures of this world, not physical goods that bring only comfort. My art is my imagination in the physical, but my imagination is more palpable, more valuable than the art itself. In the same way, you, the doer, are more valuable than what you have done.