QPR- Save a Life

The more clues and signs you observe in someone =  higher risk for suicide. Recognizing the warning signs of suicide is vital before QPR takes place. 

Direct Clues:

• "I've decided to kill myself."

• "I wish I were dead."

• "I'm going to commit suicide."

• "I'm going to end it all."

• "If [so and so] takes place, I'm going to kill myself." 

Indirect Clues:

• "I'm tired of life."

• "I won't be around much longer anyways."

• "My family would be better off without me."

• "Pretty soon you won't have to worry about me."

• "I just want out."

Behavioral Clues:

• past suicide attempt

• acquiring a gun and stock-piling pills

• someone who is going through depression, hopeless, moodiness, and helplessness, but suddenly  turns suspiciously calm 

• giving away prized possessions

• drug or alcohol abuse, or relapse in substance use

Situational Clues:

• victim of bullying or harassment

• family problems or alienation

• loss of any major relationship, *especially* death of a loved one or death by suicide

• diagnosis or return of a serious illness

• victim of sexual assault

• financial security

It is important to note that people do not want to die, they want to end their suffering. Taking their own life is the action that someone who is suicidal may take to end their suffering, and is seen as their last resort. 

When you decide you are going to question someone about if they plan on taking their life, do not wait, ASK. Waiting to ask someone about their plans of suicide allows more time for suicide to take place. Find and ask them what private setting they would like to use to have this conversation, and allow yourselves plenty of time. If the person is reluctant, be persistent. Allow them to talk freely, do not interrupt. Listen to what they have to say. 

Tips on how to start the conversation:

Taking a LESS DIRECT Approach

• "Have you been very unhappy lately?"

• "Have you been so very unhappy lately that you've been thinking about ending your own life?"

• "Do you ever wish you could go to sleep and never wake up?"

Taking a DIRECT Approach: 

• "Are you thinking about killing yourself ?"

• "You look miserable. I wonder if you're thinking about killing yourself?"

• "You know, when people are as upset as you, they sometimes consider killing themselves. Are you considering that?"

How NOT to ask the question:

• "You're not thinking about killing yourself, are you?"

• "You wouldn't do anything stupid, would you?"

• "Suicide is a dumb idea. Surely you're not thinking about killing yourself."

*Asking the question about suicide in this manner makes the person feel stupid, unsafe, and unheard. Remember, you want to help and support this person, not tear them down. *

Remember, suicide is not a solution to a problem, it is only the solution to a perceived unsolvable problem

Now, if that person IS planning to commit suicide, you need to persuade them to get help. You can do this by asking these three simple questions:

• "will you go with me to get help?"

• "Will you let me help you get help?"

• "What can we do to keep you safe for now?"

The final step is to refer someone to get help. 

1. The BEST way to get help is to take someone directly to someone who can help. On campus at SFSU, you can take them to counseling and psychological services, located at Student Services Building Room 208.

2. Next best: make a commitment to help and make arrangements to receive that help.

3. If they are not negotiating, call UPD, or 911.

• Make sure to let the person know that you want  them to live, and they are important and irreplaceable in your life.

• Say "I want you to live, I'm on your side, and we will get through this"

• Get others involved: family, brothers, sisters, and get a therapist

When you apply QPR, you plant the seeds of hope. Words are powerful.