v3.0 8/7/2025 1750
Dear Sarah,
I want to sincerely apologize for missing our lunch the other day. I hope you'll allow me to explain—not with any judgment or passive-aggression, just with honesty and love from where I’m at.
When we spoke on the phone, I truly intended to come. I was reaching out because I was feeling overwhelmed, insecure, and honestly, pretty shaken. But after our call ended so suddenly, I was left feeling even more unsettled. I wasn’t sure if things between us were okay, and I didn’t want to risk adding tension or causing more hurt. The hang-up really threw me—it made me feel like the ground under me had shifted, and in that moment, I didn’t feel safe enough emotionally to follow through with the visit.
I also didn’t get the chance to explain that I had just lost a close friend earlier that week. It was deeply emotional, and the trip to and from Saratoga drained me more than I realized. That 30-minute drive each way is harder for me than it might seem, especially when I’m already feeling fragile.
When I reached out, I was hoping for comfort. I was looking to feel understood. But after the call ended the way it did, I felt too vulnerable and uncertain to come by. It felt better to wait until there’s a little more peace between us—when things feel mutual and caring again.
I know I can be hard to understand sometimes. I know I’m navigating a lot. But my feelings, even when messy or unclear, are still real to me. I want them to be treated gently, not brushed off. When you said they were "BS," I know it may have come from frustration, but it still really hurt. I’m not bringing this up to blame, just to be open about how it felt on my end.
I’m not trying to create conflict—I’m trying to move toward healing. I truly want us to understand each other better, and to rebuild something loving and respectful between us.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’m still here. I love you. I hope we can talk soon, maybe when the air feels a bit lighter between us.
“Love is patient, love is kind… it keeps no record of wrongs.” —1 Corinthians 13:4-5
That’s what I’m aiming for.
With love,
Your brother,
David
v2.0 8/7/2025 1744
Dear Sarah,
I want to sincerely apologize for missing our lunch the other day. I hope you'll allow me to explain—not with any judgment or passive aggression, just a bit of honesty from where I’m at.
When we spoke on the phone, I really did plan to come. I was reaching out because I was feeling overwhelmed, insecure, and honestly, pretty shaken. But after our call ended the way it did, I didn’t feel safe or grounded enough to follow through. I wasn’t sure if things between us were okay, and I didn’t want to risk making things worse or upsetting either of us further.
I also didn’t get the chance to explain something that had happened earlier that week—I lost a close friend, which involved an emotional trip to Saratoga and that 30-minute drive there and back is difficult for me. When I called you, I was looking for support and comfort. But after our call ended abruptly, I felt more uncertain and vulnerable. I decided it would be better to wait until things between us felt calmer—when we’re on good terms and there's space for us to connect with mutual care.
I know I can be confusing at times. I know I’m dealing with a lot. But when I share my feelings, even if they seem irrational or messy, they’re still real to me—and I just want them to be seen with compassion, not dismissed. Being told my feelings were "BS" really hurt. I know that probably wasn’t your intent, but I wanted to share how it landed with me.
I’m not trying to call you out or stir anything up—I truly just want us to understand each other better, and to rebuild something grounded in mutual respect and care.
Thank you for reading this. I hope we can talk soon when the time feels right.
With love, your brother. David.
v1.0 8/7/2025 1744
For context, I have been trying to reestablish a connection with my sister, but I fear she's a bit narcissistic and kind of a bully. I was seeking support for my mental illness, and She takes any form of criticism as passive-aggressive or as an attack. So I need to compose a message that puts all of that into a nice context without any kind of meanness. As nicely as possible please.
Dear Sarah,
I really apologize for missing our lunch the other day. please allow me to explain with no judgment or passive aggressiveness or anything like that.
When we talked on the phone I did plan to come to lunch with you the next day because I was freaking out to you. Because I was feeling after insecure and even unsafe.
But I fear I seriously frustrated, you obviously to the point where you hung up on me. Yeah, and uh I was a bit more than afraid and unsafe to come visit you because I couldn't risk being disturbed more than I already am. I did not get a chance to really fully explain to you how I lost my friend the other day that did involve going to Saratoga, and the 30 minute drive each way is a long trip for me, and I just didn't want to risk agitating you further. And causing any sort of fight. So I just didn't feel safe at that moment. I wanted to come drive and see you at lunch for comfort but i didn't feel safe. I would rather visit and sometime when we're on good terms. When our phone call ends with a hang-up, that doesn't make me feel secure, when I was first calling for support, and if that doesn't end well I didn't feel good about a hangout.
You called my feelings bs. I understand that I am confused. yes. disturbed yes. wrong. maybe. but BS is a stretch because my feelings are valid and deserve to be validated. and I felt like that was ugh a bit judgmental, and mean, yeah...
8/7/2025 1642