Realizing you're struggling with sex addiction can feel overwhelming, confusing, or even frightening - but it's also the first and most important step toward healing. You're not alone, and there is a clear path forward. The actions below will guide you through the process and you should start immediately: from joining a recovery community to building a support system and starting the work of long-term change.  Follow these 10 steps and use the links to help start and build your recovery.  Recovery is possible - and it begins right here, right now.  You only need to start taking action. 

Knowledge empowers recovery by turning confusion into clarity and denial into informed action.  

1.  Acknowledge your Problem

• Admit powerlessness over sexual behavior and that your life has become unmanageable.

• Not addressing this problem will result in it becoming worse and your life in chaos.

• Avoid denial or minimization; honesty is the foundation of recovery.

• Find Immediate Safety:  Eliminate access to acting-out materials or venues (e.g., pornography, websites, massage parlors).

2. Join a 12-Step Fellowship 

• Learn more about the 12-Step program to achieve recovery

• Options include Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA).  See the Support Systems or Find a Meeting Now page for more options.  

• Attend several different meetings (in-person or online) to find a good fit.

3. Find a Sponsor

• Ask at 12-Step meetings about finding a sponsor for you.

• Look for someone who has significant sobriety time and is actively involved in the 12 steps.

• Learn about sponsors and sponsees.  A sponsor offers accountability and guidance, not perfection.

• Discuss using accountability software or filtering tools (like Covenant Eyes).
  
  

4. Begin Working the 12 Steps

• With your sponsor, start going through the steps systematically.

• Start reading the  AA Big Book, 12 Steps and 12 Traditions on each step

  • • Step 1 (powerlessness and unmanageability) is foundational.

    • Steps 4 and 5 (inventory and confession) are deeply transformative but should not be rushed.

• Full recovery requires action through all 12 steps, not just abstinence.  True recovery involves resisting your addiction and embracing a new life.
  
  

5. Read Key Literature

• Reading and learning about their addiction is crucial - it builds self-awareness. Knowledge empowers recovery by turning confusion into clarity and denial into informed action.   

• Sex Addicts Anonymous – Green Book

• "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes (for understanding sex addiction).

6. Use the Recovery Toolkit from this site to Build your Personal Recovery Plan

• Define and Practice those behaviors that uplift you from your addiction - your personal recovery plan

• One Recovery tool is SAA's 3 Circles - Establish your boundaries (inner, middle, and outer circles).

• Develop daily traditions to maintain your sobriety

• Share your Recovery Plan with your sponsor or group.
  
  

7. Consider Individual or Group Therapy

• Work with a therapist trained in sexual addiction (e.g., CSAT—Certified Sex Addiction Therapist).

  • Find one that specializes in trauma (many sex addicts have trauma histories).

• Therapy complements but does not replace 12-step recovery.

• Consider Inpatient or Intensive Outpatient Programs
  
  

8. Build Accountability and Support

• Make contact with others- Regularly check in with your sponsor and recovery partners.

• Attend meetings consistently 

  1. • 90 meetings in 90 days to start, if possible.  This helps to reboot your brain's dopamine levels

• Avoid Isolation - Isolation fuels addiction.

• Stay connected through meetings, calls, and activities that engage you emotionally and relationally.

9. Develop a Spiritual Practice and commit to your Morning and Evening Reflections and Traditions

• This may include prayer, meditation, reading spiritual texts, or attending services.

• The 12-steps are spiritually focused, not religiously exclusive.

• Open-mindedness to a Higher Power (however you define it) is essential for long-term recovery.

10. Commit to Ongoing Growth 

• Recovery is lifelong.  Learning never ends.  After initial sobriety, deepen your healing through outer circle behaviors and daily traditions:

  • Step 10 (daily inventory), Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

  • Step 11 (prayer and meditation), Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

  • Step 12 (carrying the message).  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

Knowledge empowers recovery by turning confusion into clarity and denial into informed action.