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Strategies for Handling Pushback From Students, Parents or Colleagues
Strategies for Handling Pushback From Students, Parents or Colleagues
Choosing how to respond to homophobia can be tough. Unfortunately, you cannot predict how another student, parent, or colleague is going to react, which can be scary and tough. However, your choice to respond is personal.
Choosing how to respond to homophobia can be tough. Unfortunately, you cannot predict how another student, parent, or colleague is going to react, which can be scary and tough. However, your choice to respond is personal.
It is important to educate the person as to why their words, actions or opinions were hurtful. Studies have shown that productive education can turn "heterosexist antagonists" into LGBTQIA+ affirmative supporters. [1]
It is important to educate the person as to why their words, actions or opinions were hurtful. Studies have shown that productive education can turn "heterosexist antagonists" into LGBTQIA+ affirmative supporters. [1]
Early Childhood Educators
Early Childhood Educators
Children tend to internalise messages about society young. Unfortunately, this can include harmful opinions if they are not surrounded by positive role models. The best way to handle pushback from these younger students is to continue to repeat positive affirmations, to which they will eventually internalise. For example, repeating that there is no such thing as girl clothes and boy clothes or girl toys and boy toys, and that these things are for everyone, children will eventually accept this truth. Stick to the assertion until it is heard.[2]
Some very valuable conversational responses are provided by the Egale Canada Human Rights Trust as a guide:
"It’s true that some boys don’t like to play with dolls, but some boys do!
Just like some of you like to draw, and some of you don’t!
No one should have to pick and choose what they do just because they are a boy or a girl.
Some girls like to be princesses, it’s true! But not only girls.
Why do you think boys can’t be princesses? All children can be princesses!
Just like all children can be princes, or super heroes!
Everyone deserves to be happy, and if being a princess makes you happy, then it doesn’t matter what your gender is!
Acting in a certain way, like being interested in sports, is based on someone’s personality and interests, not on whether they are a boy or a girl.
Everyone has the right to play the games that they choose to. It is not okay to exclude people.
I expect/ at [name of school] we expect you to treat everyone equally."
Most young children do not know what slurs really mean, and are likely just repeating something they have heard without recognising the context. To approach this, asking them "do you know what that means?" often leads to a 'no' response. This allows for you to openly educate them and prevent them from using the word again. This can include the following phrases:[3]
It is not okay for others to use those words negatively either. I’m sorry others have said them to you/ around you.
It is not okay for you to use those words negatively in any situation.
If you hear other people use those words negatively you can ask them to please stop. If they don’t, tell an adult or a teacher.
Middle Years or High School Educators
Middle Years or High School Educators
Unfortunately, many teenagers still host homophobic and transphobic opinions which are incredibly harmful to their queer classmates. The first thing to do when you hear about a case of bullying or harrasment against an LGBTQIA+ student is to:[4]
Name it: “That is homophobic harassment."
Claim it: “That is not permitted in this school because it is disrespectful.”
Stop it: “It will never happen again. If it does (state the consequence).”
If the remarks are consistent, a full-class discussion or LGBTQIA+ affirmation session integrated into a lesson plan would be the next step. This makes sure all students understand the harmful nature of LGBTQIA+ bullying. Learning for Justice offer a really great simple session plan below. It involves brainstorming, a class project, and overall a focus on the question of "What would you do if you heard someone say “that’s so gay” or another unacceptable remark."[5] The full lesson plan is linked at the bottom of this page.
Studies have demonstrated it's possible to (at the very minimum) improve students' LGBTQIA+ inclusion through two hours of structured but totally open discussion.[6]
Tertiary Educators
Tertiary Educators
Workshop-like discussion can aid open-mindedness in tertiary education models. Studies have demonstrated it's possible to (at the very minimum) improve students' LGBTQIA+ inclusion through two hours of structured but totally open discussion.[7] In this workshop-style discussion, allow ALL opinions to be voiced: including homophobic and transphobic opinions. In this way, the misconceptions held by tertiary students can be openly voiced and thus rebutted to help successfully re-educate. Students should not be allowed to speak over one another, but they should be able to fully formulate their point and opinion, and respond entirely honestly and openly to another student's opinion.
You should voice before this discussion that all opinions are welcomed to be shared to foster a feeling of comfort in the workshop.
This discussion can allow for a higher-level of thinking regarding the self and humanity, including questions like:
Whether you are LGBTQIA+ identifying or not, what does being a queer person mean to you?
How do you describe queer lifestyles?
How do you in your life place value on queer experiences?
What do you believe the future of queerness looks like?
Parents
Parents
Pushback from parent's of students at your school can manifest in many different ways. This could include anythign from protests, angry emails, petitions, to even removing their children from the school.[8]
Parents can often claim that these topics are "inappropriate" to discuss and that children are "too young" to be learning about these topics. In this scenario, the best option would be to educate the parent. “It is 100 percent a political agenda" is a comment made by a parent in Virginia in response to schools teaching LGBTQIA+ literature.[9]
Call a meeting with the parent. Have an open conversation about why it is not inappropriate, discuss relevant literature and legislation, etc. Discuss that this is not about politics, religion, or culture, but rather about wellbeing, safety, and identity.
Putting into perspective the issue, while drastic, may be necessary.
LGBT young people aged 16 to 27 are five times more likely to have attempted suicide than non-LGBT students.[10]
16% of LGBT people aged 16 to 27 reported that they have attempted to commit suicide.[11]
48.1% of transgender and gender queer people aged 14 to 25 reported that they had attempted to commit suicide in their lifetime.[12]
As said by one mother from the same district in Virginia: "I’d rather have a kid read a book that happens to mention... kissing instead of risking losing my child forever." Hopefully this belief will resonate with parents who are pushing back against your LGBT-friendly curriculum.
Dialogue between parents and teachers is crucial, because at the end of the day, you both want what is best for the student.[13] Links for helpful resources can be found under the "Additional Resources" tab.
It is important to not feel disheartened if the parent is not receptive. Unfortunately, you cannot change everyone's opinions, and some people will be very stubborn in their hatred. It is not your fault that they hold these values, and trying to educate and converse is the best you can do. However they choose to approach the situation after being presented with the facts is not your responsibility. Ensuring that your students have a safe space and feel loved and accepted when the enter the classroom is the only next step you can take when their parent is non-receptive.
Colleagues
Colleagues
Ensure that your school's rules explicitly outline anti-discriminatory policy regarding sexual orientation and gender identity.
Advocate for staff training on proper terminology and fostering safe classrooms. Advocate for an anti-discrimination statement in all employment contracts.
If a colleague is making inappropriate and/or harmful comments, make a time to speak with them. This could be in the staff room at lunch, or before or after school (away from students). Explain that their comments or actions are offensive, unprofessional, and that you are personally insulted: even if you are not queer identifying.[14]
If they are not receptive, or if their actions continue, it may be time to take it to Human Resources, or even the school board, as those comments from fellow educators or any other adults in a professional setting are incredibly inappropriate. Reprimand homophobic behaviour to the best of your ability, but also take more serious action where necessary.[15]
Not sure what to do next?
This absolutely can be a lot to digest.
Below is a simple checklist to break down your next moves. It's 8 valuable questions which prompt you to think about structures in your own classroom and school- which can then provide you with guidance on areas that need to be improved.[16]
[1] Bryce McDavitt et al. 'Strategies Used by Gay and Bisexual Young Men to Cope with Heterosexism' (2008) 20(4) Journal of Gay and Lesbian Social Services 354, 362 [1]
[3] Ibid.
[4] Alan Horowitz, 'Addressing Homophobic Behavior In the Classroom', Education Week (online, 6 June 2001), 1 [21] <https://www.edweek.org/education/opinion-addressing-homophobic-behavior-in-the-classroom/2001/06>
[5] Southern Poverty Law Center, 'WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT “THAT’S SO GAY”?', Learning for Justice, (online, n.d.) <https://www.learningforjustice.org/classroom-resources/lessons/whats-so-bad-about-thats-so-gay>
[6] https://www.oecd.org/els/soc/PolicyBrief-RCT-OECD-SOShomophobie-EN.pdf
[7] Ibid.
[8] Nazia Parveen, 'School defends LGBT lessons after religious parents complain', The Guardian (online, 1 February 2019) <https://www.theguardian.com/education/2019/jan/31/school-defends-lgbt-lessons-after-religious-parents-complain>
[9] Samantha Schmidt, 'Angry parents protest LGBTQ books in Virginia classrooms', The Washington Post (online, 10 November 2019) 1 [5] <https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/perversity-angry-parents-protest-lgbtq-books-in-loudoun-classrooms/2019/11/10/6dbe0024-01b3-11ea-9518-1e76abc088b6_story.html>
[11] Ibid.
[12] Ibid.
[13] Kiara Alfonseca, 'Teachers, librarians targeted by angry parents over LGBTQ books speak out', ABC News (online, 19 May 2023) 1 [16] <https://abcnews.go.com/US/teachers-librarians-targeted-angry-parents-lgbtq-books-speak/story?id=99390577>
[14] Lisa Guerin, 'What can I do about a homophobic coworker?', NOLO (Blog Post, n.d.) 1 [3] <https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/what-can-i-homophobic-coworker.html>
[15] https://www.pflagbrisbane.org.au/wp-content/uploads/booklet_homophobiaintheworkplace.pdf
[16] https://academic.oup.com/book/10414/chapter/158235971?login=true#no-access-message#no-access-message
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