Safety

Stop and Think!

It's important to take several aspects of safety into consideration before putting yourself out there on a dating website. There are many concerns to think about such as different forms of harassment or abuse.

Scammers

Scammers will usually take a period of time to form a relationship full of trust and consistent communication (Coluccia et al, 2020). They will confess their love extremely early into the relationship, as well (Coluccia et al, 2020). Coluccia et al (2020) also found that after spending a few months creating a strong relationship, the scammer will ask for small gifts, which will later grow to much larger gifts and amount of money, and talk about beginning to meet up. The person will cancel scheduled meetup days multiple times because of their claims of emergencies that are popping up (Coluccia et al, 2020). Eventually, the scammer may ask for revealing photos, or something that makes the person vulnerable, which they can later use as blackmail if the person chooses not to send them money (Coluccia et al, 2020). Blackmail can be defined as a person being threatened for something bad to happen to them if they refuse to help or give the other person what they want. When the person realizes they are being scammed the relationship will fizzle out and the person being scammed is left without a partner and down some money (Coluccia et al, 2020).

Main Manipulation Tactics

There are three main manipulation tactics that are used online. The first one is a person who is “speaking about the relationship as being permanent” (Coluccia et al, 2020). The manipulator will confess their love in the early stages of talking and even try for marriage. Their goal is to make the person feel loved and that they can trust them. The second tactic is “tragic biographic narratives'' (Coluccia et al, 2020). This will consist of the manipulator sharing some sad information that draws in pity of sadness from the victim. It can be the death of a spouse or child, a loss of their house or job, any big and significant event that would draw a reaction. The third tactic is a “deadline” (Coluccia et al, 2020). This is when the manipulator really attempts to use the person they are forming a so-called ‘relationship’ with. They will ask for money, gifts, or anything to help out with their claimed tragedies that they seem to be suffering through (Coluccia et al, 2020).

Catfishing

Catfishing can be defined as someone who is lying about who they are, what they look like, and their intentions while communicating with others online. This commonly occurs on websites and apps especially when people are new to the internet. It is important to keep in mind that someone you meet online may not be completely honest with you. They could be catfishing you. This could consist of someone sending pictures that are not of themselves when they are trying to get to know you. It will typically be a basic picture that seems realistic. The catfisher could be getting these pictures offline or from another person they are catfishing. A way to prevent being catfished is to frequently ask the person you are talking to to send current pictures of themselves (Ma et al, 2022). This forces the person to send multiple pictures instead of just a couple which will make it much more difficult to catfish (Ma et al, 2022).

How can we prevent this from happeneing?

Communicate with Loved Ones

Someone we meet online can be dangerous and a threat to our safety. When meeting for the first time, it is a good idea to bring along a friend or family member and meet in a public place (Ma et al, 2022). By meeting in a public place, it forms a sort of bubble around you since there will be other people around in case something happens to go wrong (Ma et al, 2022). A person may also benefit from meeting during the day time instead of at night. This ensures there will be light and lessens the chance of something bad happening while meeting this new person. It is crucial to meet in an area that is familiar to you. Being aware of your surroundings and familial with what is going will be helpful if an issue were to occur. Keeping family and friends in the loop while meeting up with new people can also help ensure your safety (Ma et al, 2022). Telling trusted loved ones where you will be and even allowing them to have your location can provide a safer situation and allow help if necessary.

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