"Online dating sites foster initial communication between potential romantic partners."
Staying in contact both in-person and by phone call was linked to a stronger relationship than other forms of communication (Cummings et al, 2002). Additionally, people with in-person relationships are more likely to have a strong connection than those who are having online relationships (Cummings et al, 2002). It has also been shown that people are more likely to frequently communicate with those they have an offline relationship with than those who are communicated with solely online (Cummings et al, 2002). Cummings et al. (2002) also found that people reported feeling less close and connected to their online partner versus those who they were with in- person.
Ramirez et al. (2014) found that people who meet online can have a great time when they talk but need to meet in person soon after talking online. This allows the couple to get a read on the other individual and see if it is worth pursuing (Ramirez et al, 2014). Otherwise, there could be red flags that a person comes across later that they otherwise could have seen and avoided if they were to meet in person sooner. Having a long term relationship online has shown to lead to many negative outcomes especially since people are more likely to put the best aspects of themselves forward while online (Ramirez et al, 2014). Although not the same, it can hold feelings of deception if the person you talk to online is not seeming the same as the one you are talking to in person for the first time. It can take a while to get used to each other so although it can be beneficial to meet online, it's important to meet in person sooner rather than later.
Self-presentation has the potential to be highly manipulative on online dating sites and apps. People are able to pick and choose pictures and characteristics of themselves that they want others to see (Ramirez et al, 2014). They can choose what to reveal and even attract their ideal partner. In person, one’s identity may be more upfront as they aren’t being shown in their best angles or in the kindest ways. It’s more raw and genuine which provides a perfect opportunity for people to truly get to see who someone is and decide if they think it would be a good match. While meeting online, a person is able to “reveal socially desirable aspects of their identity” (Ramirez et al, 2014).
Revealing One's Self
Although people are typically seen as more likely to share information online, there is also something called “strangers on the train” (Bargh, McKenna, and Fitzsimons, 2002). This is when people are more likely to share their personal information with a stranger on a train, bus, or just in public. It gives the same kind of anonymity that interacting with someone online may give. You don’t know the person,will never have to see them again if you don’t want to, they have no idea who you are or what is going on in your life and are able to give an honest response to whatever you talk about. People are likely to reveal their true and actual selves when they are in a more shielded situation. The true self can be defined as the part of one’s self that is real and true but can not always initially be seen by others unless it is directly expressed (Bargh, McKenna, and Fitzsimons, 2002). The actual self can be defined as a person’s self- description of who they are and what they are like as an individual (Bargh, McKenna, and Fitzsimons, 2002). Sharing with someone who doesn’t know you can be quite enticing especially when a person has a lot going on in their life. In these situations, people feel that they can reveal aspects of their true and actual selves which would form closer bonds with those they are sharing with regardless of how long they have known them (Bargh, McKenna, and Fitzsimons, 2002). If the strangers do stay in contact, they will most likely continue to have a relatively strong bond that began when one person first opened up to the other. There has been some form of an established level of trust in a short period of time.