Once there was a happy place,

Patternland was its name,

The only rule in Patternland

Was that every gnome had the same,

The same sized house, the same sized land,

The same amount of stuff,

Everyone had an equal share

And everyone had enough

In this tiny village far away,

where tiny people roam,

There was a not-so-tiny man,

Named Wilt Chamber-gnome.

Wilt was tall and Wilt had speed,

He delighted the entire town,

When he shot and scored the crowds would cheer,

“He’s the greatest baller in town!”

As Wilt’s fame grew so did demand

To watch Wilt play his game

Every day he’d take the court,

As the fans would shout his name.

But Wilt grew tired of playing the game,

Basketball lost its appeal

But the fans sill longed to see him play,

So they decided to make a deal

Each fan agreed to give Wilt a piece

A small part of their equal share,

And those who paid a tiny price,

Could see a player beyond compare.

Wilt grew rich and his house grew larger

Which was helpful in light of his size,

And the fans were happy to watch Wilt too

It seemed like a perfect compromise.

But when the rulers of Patternland learned

About Wilt Chamber-gnome’s b-ball scheme

They reminded poor Wilt that in Patternland,

Gnomes can only be paid in esteem.

“You’ll need to make due,” said the leader of gnomes,

“Without charging a fee for your show”

“And the things you’ve collected must be returned,

And the house you have built needs to go.”

“For in Patternland we must all have the same,

and you Mr. Wilt have much more.

So we’ll take what you have and use it, you see,

To make things the same as before”

So lacking a reason to go out and play,

Wilt sat alone in his now-tiny home,

And Wilt’s fans could only remember the days

When they saw the great Wilt Chamber-gnome