Treating Others Like Jesus Would

READ Colossians 3:18-4:18

I think it would be wise to skip the bit about wives submitting to their husbands and slaves submitting to their masters, and also the bit about proclaiming the gospel, and just focus on the greetings at the end of this letter – the bit about how everyone says hello. Is that OK?

Actually, we are going to do the opposite. Surprisingly, there’s quite a lot of interesting stuff in those greetings but we might do that some other day. Today, we will focus on 3:18-4:6.

Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. How on earth did we get to this? Paul has been reminding the Colossians who Jesus is. He is the image of the invisible God, the creator of the entire universe, the One who holds all things together. Paul has argued against various teachings and philosophies and reminded them that Jesus died for them and there is nowhere better to turn than to Jesus. How did we suddenly start talking about wives submitting to their husbands?

In the first part of Chapter 3, Paul said the Colossians had died with Christ and been raised with Christ to a whole new life. Given all that Jesus is, and all that Jesus had done for them, the fitting response was to live the new life that Jesus had given them. That new life is a life not of evil desires, greed, and anger, but of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. That new life is a life of love and of living at peace with one another and ministering to one another.

Colossians 3:17

Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God through Him.

Everything we do is to be done as ambassadors acting in the name of Jesus and reflecting Jesus. Everything we do is to be Christ-like. That is the context.

But women, in particular, can hear the word “submit” and have a visceral reaction to it – because it has often been in ways alien to the Bible. Some men have seen this verse (and similar ones) as justification for being domineering, or demanding their wives obey them, or demanding that they have the final say in all decisions. But it should be obvious that that interpretation of submission has yanked this verse right out of context. Remember the context? This new life is a life not of evil desires, greed, and anger, but of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. That new life is a life of love and of living at peace with one another and ministering to one another, serving one another. What does submission mean? It has to be understood in the light of those principles. Everything we do is to be Christ-like.

Jesus is the greatest example of submission. Jesus is God. Jesus is supreme over everything, and yet, He modelled submission. Remember His prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane: Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done. Jesus clearly did not want to die on a Cross. He was in anguish and torment, and yet He still was willing to forego His own desires and preferences in order to do the will of His Father. It is not about me; it is about you. Not my will, yours.

We could pick many more examples. He could have just done His own thing but He subordinated His own desires to serve others.  He served even when He was tired. He served when He might have preferred to be on His own.

Christian wives are called to be like Jesus. Wives are called to put their own desires to one side to serve their husbands. That is Christ-like.

But so are husbands! This is the point. Everyone is called to be Christ-like. In the parallel passage in Ephesians 5:21, Paul wrote “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”. Everyone in the church was called to submit to everyone else in the church. Forego your own preferences; serve each other. Then Paul gave some specific examples: Wives, submit to your own husbands as you do to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

It is the same here in Colossians: wives submit to your husbands; husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Even that last part (“do not be harsh”) means that husbands cannot demand submission and certainly cannot treat their wives badly. But the first part (“Husbands, love your wives”) makes it much clearer. Love means wanting the best for the other person. Love means foregoing your own so-called rights and desires. Love means forgetting yourself and favouring the other person. Love means serving. Love, as modelled by Jesus means all of those things and more.

Some people will try to explain away these verses. They say they reflect an ancient patriarchal society. We are now much more enlightened. They are no longer relevant.

No, these verses are extraordinarily relevant to us. We need this Christ-like attitude of willing service and loving, just as much as any society in the past. These words are still God’s word to us. Our society, our marriages, our relationships with our neighbours and our brothers and sister at church, would be a lot healthier if we lived this new life of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Those same principles apply to parents/children relationships. Children are to be Christ-like in their relationships with their parents and that includes obeying. Jesus submitted to (that is, obeyed) His parents.

But, again, notice that this is mutual: Parents are not to embitter their children. It actually says “Fathers”, maybe because fathers are more likely than mothers to be harsh. But, clearly, it applies to all parents. It would be bizarre if God said that fathers were not to embitter their children but mothers could!

Yes, parents have authority, but they are not to use that authority in ways that make their children bitter. Those who have been raised to new life in Christ are to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. They are to forgive just as they have been forgiven and they are to love. Parents are to live that new life in Christ.

Christian slaves and their masters are to live this new life. That means slaves obeying and working with all their hearts. Notice the reasons Paul gives.

• Do it out of your reverence for Jesus.

• Do it as if you were working for Jesus. How would you serve Jesus?

• Do it knowing you will receive an inheritance from the Lord, as a reward.

Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven. Christian masters were to treat their slaves well. The masters were also slaves of Jesus and would be accountable to Jesus for how they treated their slaves. They should treat their slaves the way Jesus treated them.

Of course, this raises a question about why the New Testament even seems to support slavery. I have put a link in the notices if you want to explore that some more. Just briefly… If your image of slavery is of the terrible situation in the southern USA before the civil war, that is not what slavery was like in the Roman Empire. People sold themselves into slavery for a limited period, often to pay off debt or something similar. No doubt there were abuses but slavers were generally treated well, and were well-educated. It was more like an employment agreement. And statements like “provide your slave with what is right and fair” did address and undermine any abusive forms of slave ownership.

Then Paul said, “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” All through this letter he has implored the Colossians to keep Jesus front and centre. If Jesus is front-and-centre then we will obviously be devoted to prayer. If our eyes are on Jesus and we know who Jesus is and what Jesus has done for us and what Jesus will do for us now and what Jesus will do for us in the future, prayer will be a natural response. Prayerlessness is part of the old life. The new, resurrection life is life “in Christ” – life lived in relationship with Jesus.

But prayer is also a spiritual battle, isn’t it? Prayer is powerful; Jesus is powerful. Therefore, Satan doesn’t want us to pray – and, sometimes, Satan wins. Hence the instruction. We have some part in this. We are to be devoted to prayer. There is a discipline in this whereby we say, “I don’t feel like praying but I will pray. I am devoted to prayer.”

Paul then focused on one particular prayer. He asked for their prayers because he knew that his ministry was utterly dependent on God. Paul had big ambitions, but nothing happens without God. He could work hard and use all of his learning and skills, and achieve nothing. Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain. (Ps 127:1) Churches can invest huge amounts of money and time and effort and achieve nothing. Unless, it includes God, it is merely busyness with no fruit.

So, what is Paul’s particular prayer request? Remember in Chapter 1 he said…

Colossians 1:28-29

28 He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. 29 To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.

Remember in Chapter 2 he said, “My goal is that people may know Christ.” (2:2)

Remember in Chapter 3 he said, “Let the message of Christ (the gospel) dwell among you richly.”

Do you think it might have changed by Chapter 4? No! Pray that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.

Paul’s passion is the gospel of Jesus Christ. He knows that without Jesus he can do nothing. He asks for them to pray for him. Pray for opportunities – open doors – specifically doors that God has opened. And pray that I may proclaim the gospel clearly. God-given opportunities and God-given ability to proclaim the gospel clearly.

Paul wants their prayers but they have a role as well. We are part of this same mission. Paul will do his bit but he counsels them on their bit with three instructions:

• Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders.

  • • Some Christians are not very wise in the way they relate to non-Christians. Some are rude and accusatory. Some are proud and judgemental. That doesn’t work.

    • Some Christians see that and go to the opposite extreme. They are very gentle and lovey-dovey and would never do anything that might offend, like challenge anything or mention the name of Jesus. That doesn’t work either.

    • Maybe wisdom is somewhere in the middle.

• Make the most of every opportunity

  • • Making the most of opportunities requires wisdom. Being harsh is not making the most of it. Being weak is not making the most of it. So, here’s that middle position.

• Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

  • • Let your conversation be gracious. Let it be loving, gentle, forgiving, compassionate.

    • But let it also be seasoned with salt. Let there be something in it that makes the other person a little bit thirsty. Or, something that stings a little bit and makes the person reflect.

What are implications of that prayer for us – the prayer for opportunities and for ability to share the good news of Jesus? Should we be asking people to pray that for us? What are the implications of Pauls instructions: be wise, make the most of every opportunity, speak graciously but with a seasoning of salt?

We might look at the greetings another time but, other than that, that is the end of our look at Colossians. We could summarise it with the phrase “Jesus front-and-centre” or “Jesus the Messiah, nothing more, nothing less”. We absolutely need Jesus, and Jesus is all we need. We cannot graduate beyond Jesus. In the context of various teachings that would have led the Colossians to focus somewhere other than Jesus, Paul kept on bringing their focus back to Jesus. Jesus is God. Jesus is supreme over all creation, In Jesus are hidden all wisdom and understanding. God rescued you out of the kingdom of darkness and placed you in the kingdom of Jesus – made possible by the Cross of Jesus. By God’s grace you died with Jesus and you were raised with Jesus. Live a life worthy of Jesus. Live the new resurrection life. Be like Jesus in your relationships. And tell others about Jesus. That is your mission. Tell others about Jesus, because he is everything.

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