Spiritual Parenting

Shorter version

1.      Title slide

Spiritual Parenting or what might also be called mentoring.

2.      Diagram

Last week we filled in only half of this diagram. The first half is about evangelism and we looked particularly at how Jesus did evangelism

Jesus was enormously attractive. Huge flocked to Him from far away. Jesus served people and so revealed the Kingdom of God.

But there were also times when He challenged the crowd e.g.

·        Follow me

·        Spelling out the cost of discipleship

Most of the people in the crowds did not accept the challenge. There are various occasions where we see people simply walking away when challenged by Jesus (e.g. John 6) – because most were there for selfish reasons: the spectacle, the personal benefits…

But some chose to follow Jesus.

3.      Many/Few

And so, while Jesus maintained his crowd ministry, His ministry shifted from the crowds to focusing on a few – primarily the 12 disciples. Think of the emphasis Jesus put on just those 12 men – the time and effort He invested in just 12 men.

The challenge acted as a filter. It filtered out of the crowd those who would follow Jesus. That is what evangelism is about – Who will respond? Who will follow? Many receive God’s grace but few respond.

The nature of Jesus’ ministry to those few was very different from His crowd ministry. Do you have any ideas what might go in that 3rd box? What did Jesus do with the few?

4.      Train

He trained them.

The process moved from serving and giving to many (asking little in return) to training a few (and expecting a lot from them). Remember the words of the Great Commission: “teach them to obey everything I have commanded” Disciple-making includes intentional training.

That is what I am calling “spiritual parenting” or mentoring.

5.      Spiritual parenting

Parenting is a very good analogy of disciple-making. If you are trying to understand what disciple-making is like, think of parenting – having children and then raising those children. Baptism corresponds to being born again. A brand new baby Christian is born. So, what now? Now it is about parenting that baby Christian.

There are various biblical examples of family language being used to describe the relationship between a Christian and his/her mentor:

Various New Testament letters are addressed to “my dear children”.

·        Galatians 4:19 - My dear children, I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you.

o   Note the disciple-making context – “until Christ is formed in you”.

·        1 Corinthians 10:14 - Therefore, my dear children, flee from idolatry.

·        1 John 2:1 - My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.

·        1 John 3:18 - My dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

Paul says Onesimus became his son i.e. when he was converted by Paul.

·        Philemon 1:10 - I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains.

Paul refers to Timothy as his “true child in the faith” (1 Tim 1:2) and “my beloved and faithful child in the Lord” (1 Cor 4:17)

·        1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12 - Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, 8 so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well… 11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

There are some very sad cases of people abandoning new-born babies. That is a crime. People go to prison for that. And yet we do that in the church when we abandon new-born Christians when the Great Commission is about growing them to maturity!

6.      Job not finished

Jesus did not tell us to make converts (spiritual babies). He told us to make disciples – students of Jesus who are becoming like Him – who are growing to maturity.

7.      Objective of parenting

Think of the parallel with parenting. The objective of parenting is not just to have babies but to grow those babies to maturity.

8.      Not developing

Equally tragically, if a child gets to 2 or 3 or 4 and is not talking, or walking, or not feeding himself, we would be terribly worried. We would be going to specialists. We would be taking drastic action.

In the spiritual, if a Christian is not growing, it should cause us real concern. If he/she is not growing in character, or not learning new skills – the skills of a Christian – we should be desperately worried. There is something wrong!

The objective of parenting – and spiritual parenting – is to grow children to maturity when they can then have their own children and repeat the process.

9.      Hebrews 5:12

Hebrews 5:12 - 12 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!

That verse is part of a larger passage expressing frustration that the readers were still babies –were not growing. Note that in this verse it says, “You should by now have grown up to the point where you can teach others – where you can be a spiritual parent, investing in the next generation.” But they weren’t.

The expectation is that Christians will grow and will parent the next generation.

10.  Willing?

Are you willing to be a spiritual parent, raising the next generation of Christians?

11.  How did you learn to ride a bike?

How did you learn to ride a bike?

I would love to hear all of your cycling stories but we don’t have time. So, I will tell you.

12.  Wrong answers

Someone gave you a bike and a book on cycling and left you to it.

Is that correct? Did any learn to ride a bike by reading a book?

13.  Process for learning

Can I have another go?

a.      Someone rode a bike. You saw and wanted to do it too.

b.      You sat on a bike and someone held it stable.

c.      Someone explained the absolute fundamentals.

d.      Someone pushed you along, keeping you upright.

e.      Someone took his/her hands off for brief periods but was ready to catch you. Then longer periods.

f.       Someone let you go, stood back, and watched – or, maybe, rode alongside you.

g.      Someone gave encouragement and suggestions.

h.      When you fell, someone picked you up and encouraged you to try again.

i.       Someone let you ride off on your own.

j.       Someone gave more advanced instruction (e.g. maintenance, changing gears) and you went through some of those steps again.

There is an 11th point that should be on that list: You did it for someone else. You did it for the next generation. You passed on what you had received.

Is that how you learnt to ride a bike?

How did I know how you learnt to ride a bike? Am I not amazing?

It has got nothing to do with me being amazing. It is just how we do it. We know how to teach children to ride bikes. We do it in that close, caring, hands on, encouraging, slowly giving more and more independence sort of way.

Let’s think about how we might teach a younger Christian something. Can you suggest a character quality or a skill – anything we might want to teach a younger Christian?

Can we see how that process applies?

·        We model it. We do it so others can see.

·        We give a wee taste of it just so they get a feel for it.

·        We give some teaching.

·        We might look for an opportunity for them to… but under your close supervision.

·        We begin to take our hand off – but we are there to quickly grab them if necessary

·        Etc.

If we know how to teach someone to ride a bike, we know how to make disciples.

14.  Jesus’ principles

Here is a very brief summary of the principles we see in Jesus disciple-making.

a.      Intentional

b.      Relational

c.      Focused (on a few)

d.      Stage appropriate (growth stages, unbelief -> maturity)

e.      Costly (time, effort, preparation, disappointment)

f.       Practical

g.      Cyclic (disciples are commissioned to use the same principles to make the next generation of disciples)

                                          i. The movement grows exponentially.

                                         ii. It doesn’t matter if you focus on a few, if those few then multiply. That is what Jesus did.

We could think about any one of those principle and ponder how intentional we are, how relational our methods are, etc. – both individually and as a church.

15.  Following Jesus = implement the same principles

Disciple-makers who follow Jesus implement these same principles.

16.  Diagram

Can anyone think what might go in that last box? (pause)

17.  Send

Disciples are to make disciples. Each generation of disciples is commissioned to make disciples. They repeat that process.

Parents have children and are responsible for growing them to the point where they can then have children and parent the next generation. And so on and so on.

18.  Recap

a.      Our mission is to make disciples of Jesus Christ.

b.      Disciples are followers/students of Jesus.

c.      The objective is to be like Jesus.

d.      Disciple-making has two stages:

                                          i. Evangelism – bringing people to faith in Jesus.

                                         ii. Discipling – bringing people to maturity in Jesus.

e.      We are all different (personalities, gifts, etc.)

                                          i. So we unite - one body with one objective.

f.       A Kingdom of God lifestyle will raise questions.

g.      We are to be ready to answer those questions.

h.      Spiritual babies need spiritual parents.

i.       Making disciples will produce a strong, healthy, growing church.

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