the penstubal post

BRANT ESSER NAPUŠTA PREDSEDNIŠTVO

DELFI - Predsednik Brant Esser je obavestio svoj narod da se neće kandidovati za drugi mandat kao predsednik Republike Akadije. Njegovoj odluci su pružili dobrodošlicu demonstranti, plaćeni od strane prodavničke vlade, koji su marširali pod sloganima ,,hip hip hooray, dictator's away'' i ,,živela revolucija''. Generalno, njegovu odluku s primili sa zaprepašćenjem visoki pingvini, skrabi i slobodoljubivi pingvini širom Antarktika, uključujući i Penstubal, koji je proglasio pad Branta Essera ,,krajem jedne epohe''.

Predsednik UP McClark se zahvalio Brantu Esseru na svojoj ,,životnoj službi svom narodu'' i pružio mu je sreću u svojim budućim nastojanjima.

Akadija će održati predsedničke izbore u Decembru. Nekoliko kandidata se već poravnalo da naslede Essera i većina njih obećava da će biti različita od njega i da će narodu pružiti demokratske reforme koji će učiniti to da država postane ,,funkcionalan član međunarodne zajednice''.

MCCLARK POBEDIO ICEBERGERA: KAKO SE DESILO

VINSBURG - Simon McClark je osvojio istorijski drugi mandat kao predsednik Ujedinjenih Provincija pobedivši njegovog protivnika, socijaldemokratu Gideona Icebergera. Mnogi su smatrali da je pobeda McClarka neverovatna iako je vodio u gotovo svakoj anketi tokom čitave godine zbog toga što se smatralo bi u njemu u poslednjem trenutku mogla da isklizne pobeda iz ruku. Večeras se ispostavilo da se to nije desilo.

,,Obožavam McClarka, najbolji je predsednik kojeg smo ikada imali'' rekla je 73-godišnja Hilda Matthews iz Voćne Luke, ,,Naša privreda cveta, nema ratova. Ne želimo zastarele torijevce, komunjare više!''

,,Večeras smo izgubili priliku da stavimo kraj na ovaj neoliberalni svetski poredak, da vratimo moć nazad u ruke naroda'' rekla je 40-godišnja Martha Maguire iz Ptičice, ,,Razočarana sam ali ne i iznenađena. Borićemo se, ovo nije još gotovo, i Iceberger će se ponovo vratiti iz senke''

Gideon Iceberger je priznao poraz McClarku i čestitao mu na pobedi, ali je rekao da ,,njegova borba za pravednu, jednaku, inkluzivnu i poštenu Snovinsku još uvek nije gotova''. McClark je napao Icebergera u svom pobedničkom govoru, okarakterisavši ga kao ,,radikalnog socijalistu'' čija agenda ,,nije kompatibilna sa slobodnom i nezavisnom Snovinskom''. McClark je rekao da ima ,,punu podršku naroda i legitimitet da nastavi da služi kao njegov predsednik'' i pohvalio je glasače što su odbili ekstremizam.

PENSTUBAL TALK: PREMIJERA 6. JULA

VIZINT - Penstubal je zvanično objavio da će njegova večernja talk-show emisija Penstubal Talk imati svoju premijeru 6. jula na kanalu Penstubal One koja je posedovana od strane Penstubal Post-a. ,,U našoj emisiji ćemo, u svakoj epizodi, imati po jednog pametnog, talentovanog, veoma inteligentnog pojedinca, koji će doći svake nedelje, i razgovaraćemo o temama koje su najvažnije vama, pingvinama širom Antarktika'' rekao je Penstubal, vlasnik Penstubal Post-a. Penstubal je već pozvao gomilu poznatih ličnosti na svoju emisiju, uključujići i mnoge kontroverzne kao što su prodavnički potpredsednik Chill i predsednik Lavanda, za koje se već govore da su se otarasili svojih poziva.

MI BASKETBALL DEFEATS ACADIA 94 - 85

JAHEESTI LINN - Moon Island's national basketball team triumphed over the Acadian national team in a friendly match, defeating Acadia in a 94 - 85 result that, at first glance, seems to be a pretty good win but in reality was very hard fought. The Acadian national team led multiple times over the Moon Island team, and got into a 41 - 43 lead by the end of the 2nd half. However, the Moon Islanders rebouncd after the halftime break and successfully scored a 9-point lead by the end of the match that they, of course, retained. The two teams congratulated each other and throughout the match Acadian and Moon Island fans sang various songs, some even together, to support their own teams.

OPINION: ACHADIA VIOLATES ACADIA'S RIGHT TO EXIST

CLUB PENGUIN ISLAND - Ever since the December crisis, the illegally propped up "Achadian" government has been bothering Brant Esser, Acadia and its inhabitants. A terrorist regime set up by Shops Island in order to further their world domination, they are violating Acadia's right to exist with their presence near their territory, and Hockey Manlet is very well aware of this. Acadia is right in its moves such as the February blockade of Achadia, during which Ed and Shops almost started a war to protect their selfish interests. Acadia stood up for itself, however, and rightly so, and should have gone a step further, and if Ed and Shops wanted a world war, then they can bring it on and indeed bring on their own final destruction. The penguins of Antarctica will no longer put up with their shenanigans, and it is time we say no to the bullying and aggression committed against borderline defenseless sovereign nations.

WEATHER - MOON ISLAND METEOROLOGICAL SOCIETY

MOON ISLAND - LOCAL NEWS

GOVERNOR: PRODUCTIVE MEETING WITH DPS04

DANCING PENGUIN CITY - Governor David Franklin announced he had a productive meeting with former Governor and incumbent Mayor of Dancing Penguin City, Dps04, on the construction of a brand new business center in the very heart of Dancing Penguin City. "We have agreed that a big business district will benefit the Moon Island economy and will lead to international companies moving here and hiring Moon Island workers" remarked Franklin, to the enthusiastic agreement of Dps04.

WE'RE WEALTHY - SO WHERE ARE THE ROADS?

DANCING PENGUIN CITY - A leftist member of the Moon Island Council sharply rebuked the government and Governor David Franklin, stating that the current administration "is the most useless administration ever". "We're a fine island. We're quite wealthy. We're outperforming, in so many ways, the rest of Shops Island. We're doing great! So where are the roads, Mister President? Where are they?!" he shouted at the President of the Council, in front of an empty chamber. "The Council couldn't even bother to show up to debate this issue. Where's the Council, Mister President?! This is a travesty, this Council is nothing more than a sham!"

The Council member's criticism was tired to the fact that the island has the least developed highway system out of nearly all wealthy regions in Antarctica. The country's only real highway is the one connecting Dancing Penguin City, Moon Island City and Wizzint, and, of course, the island is way more than just those three cities. The Governor has pledged to address the issue and has called the criticisms "valid", but so far there seems to have been only words and no action.

MAFIA, ORGANIZED CRIME AND MORE

SAN ANDERRIE - The southern city of San Anderrie is known by many things, but being crime-free is not one of them. Rather, to the contrary, San Anderrie is one of the cities in Shops Island with the highest crime rates and the most powerful mafia and other organized criminal gangs. The authorities in the Golden Coast region have taken steps to curb organized crime, but so far these efforts have been proven to be completely ineffective. The issue of organized crime has recently been recognized as a local emergency, and the city government is pleading the national government to assist it in fighting the problem.

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