2020 Kidnapping on the Beach
2020 Kidnapping on the Beach
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It is my sad duty to report that "Jim" has been taken from us.
In an early morning raid storm troopers from Charleston invaded the beach just south of the Pelican and made off with our beloved Jim-Buoy (ave magnus rufus!).
Rescued from the sea a mere week ago Jim-Buoy (ave magnus rufus!) stood silent as worshipers queued for selfies or to seek wisdom from this iron monolith.
Jim-Buoy (ave magnus rufus!) has twice before escaped from the waters surrounding Charleston where he was cruelly chained to the ocean floor, miles from the beach he loves.
Though he came in peace and left fettered to a flat bed truck, locals are encouraged that Jim-Buoy (ave magnus rufus!) will once again gain his freedom.
And though the chances of a return to New Smyrna are slim we are confident Jim-Buoy (ave magnus rufus!) will deliver his stoic message wherever he (or she for that matter) washes up next.
"Always stand your ground - but Never bag your recyclables"
AVE MAGNUS RUFUS!!
Early morning followers of the Book of Jim-Buoy pose for a photo op -
oblivious to the fact that the kidnapping is taking place directly behind them.
Jim-Buoy (ave magnus rufus!) sits atop the kidnappers rig.**
Even in despair he refused to cry out.
The heavily armed convoy escapes down the beach with
Jim-Buoy (ave magnus rufus!) on their return trip to Charleston
Equipped only with rescue tubes the Beach Patrol looks on - powerless to intervene.
This is all that remains of the sacred site where
Jim-Buoy (ave magnus rufus!) once graced our beach.
**An AMBER alert has been issued. Anyone seeing the convoy is asked to report its location to local authorities.
The license plate on the rig is "BG-AZ-TRK".
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