Tools to enhance our wellbeing

If you are feeling depleted or exhausted, you may want to check out https://react-aph.org/en/what-to-do-when-the-personal-resource-is-at-zero/ 

If you are feeling overwhelmed by thoughts or emotions, or exhausted, you can find specific calming resources for your experience at: https://r4r.energypsych.org/

If you could do with some gentle guided movement, that you can do either sitting or standing, visit https://services.nhslothian.scot/lcps/exercise-videos-pmp/. Another gentle and mindful way of moving is somatics: https://www.janamsmith.com/resources 

If you would like to get in touch with your body sensations in a gentle, non-triggering way, without moving, visit https://traumaresearchfoundation.org/coming-to-your-senses-with-licia-sky-collection/ 

Autism Cork has some general recommendations for stress-management, as well as some awesome training events: https://www.autismcork.ie/post/10-proven-stress-management-strategies-for-parents-and-professionals-supporting-autistic-individuals?utm_source=brevo&utm_campaign=Winter%20Newsletter%20-%20February&utm_medium=email 

If you want to listen to an expert in self-compassion, who has an autistic child, visit https://www.podbean.com/ep/pb-gbjsu-1507229

Here are some self-awareness guided exercises in two versions: one recorded by Prof. Tony Attwood and the other one, by Michelle Garnett: https://tonyattwood.com.au/resources-research/exploring-depression-downloads/ 

How Can We Forgive the Unforgivable, Especially When it is Still Going On?

 by Lynne Forrest

This is a question I am often asked.

Forgiveness is a decision we make that basically says, "I choose to let go of my unhappy story about you because it is the kindest way to treat myself. Because if I love you, and I am out of harmony with you, I suffer.

I choose to forgive because I understand that you do what you do, not TO me, or AT me, but simply because you believe your own unhappy thoughts and ideas (about me, you, and the world). You're believing what you do is what prompts you to act the way you do ... and that has nothing to do with me - unless I take it on.

However, I do not have to take on or agree with your limiting unhappy thoughts and beliefs; I do not have to agree with your opinions and thoughts, nor do I need to defend myself against them ... which only adds to my suffering.

I can feel compassion for you because I too, have acted out of limiting beliefs that I have held against others, and I know how painful that is.

I also understand that our relationship would not be in my life if there were not something in it FOR me to learn. You are my teacher ... whether you know it, or intend it, or not ... the Universe uses you to offer me this opportunity to find that part of my own mind that thinks, feels, and/or acts in some of the same ways that I so resist in you.

I learn from you, for instance, how I judge, condemn, and hurt myself in the same way you judge, condemn, and/or strike out at me. This is one of the reasons why our relationship is so important to me. It allows me to grow my consciousness and come into a greater understanding of, and a more loving relationship with, myself.

I forgive because I innately understand that you cannot wound me except by my own permission. That for me to give you that power is just one more unloving way to treat myself. For in Reality, the only person who can truly hurt me is ME - it's what I TELL myself about the way you treat me that hurts me - not what you do or say to or about me. This is only true always!

However, forgiveness does not mean I must tolerate abuse at your hands simply because you are confused.

I can forgive you and still take care of myself, which might mean removing myself when you act in destructive ways.

I can choose to remove myself from your presence until you return to sanity, rather than go on subjecting myself to the painful things you do when you act out of your painful, limiting beliefs.

Again however, this does not mean I need to blame you, or to defend myself to you, nor do I need to set you straight. None of that is my job either. I can let you have your unhappy story about me and go on loving you regardless of what your thoughts and beliefs might be about me.

I take responsibility for my own well-being by loving me enough to trust absolutely that whatever you do is because you believe what you think (and not because of me). I do not expect (nor need) you to act any other way than the way you do.

Is it possible to live like this? Absolutely. Again, forgiveness is a personal choice based on a decision to be in harmony with ourselves and the world regardless of what it does "to" us.