Career Planning

Q. Why should my kid have Career Plans BEFORE college?

College is an expensive way to figure out career interests. Many colleges have set degree requirements, and typically don’t address career considerations (if at all) until internships or practicum in the last year of college.

A. Your child may become “interested” in a field of study or college major that does NOT lend itself to a decent-paying career. College “encourages” young adults to “explore” new and interesting ideas. (Perhaps it might be some kind of [Fill-in-the-blank] “Studies” you won’t want to brag about?)

That’s the problem: What’s interesting to your kid may be irrelevant to an employer. Wouldn’t it be a ridiculous waste of money -- especially yours -- if they didn’t turn that college expense into a career? A lot of your money down the drain.

Contracts with Child

Q: Can I make my child sign a contract for college tuition?

A. Yes, you can. You should be very clear about your expectations. You should spell out what events or conditions would make you unable or unwilling to continue paying. If not in writing (which I recommend), have other family members witness your discussion.

My long-standing rule is: “Never do business with family or friends.” They tend to forget what they promised, or hope you’ll keep “cutting them some slack.” But if you feel you must, then be the adult. Teach them about contracts (they’ll be signing them all their life, after all).

I guide and teach parents how to craft a personalized contract that gives them control.

Requirement to Pay & Divorce

Q. Is a parent Required to pay for college?

A. In many cases, NO! But let’s break that question down into the following 7 questions:

1. Should you pay for your child's college?

A. Some parents feel they “owe” their children support to attend college to give them the best possible start in life. College might do that, in theory. But much success depends on your child’s work ethic, native smarts, people ability, intelligence, and many other factors college just can’t and never will “fix.” Although I am not a CFP financial planner, there are many resources on the web.

Compromise Position:

I budgeted a specific amount for either college, starting a business, moving, training, or anything else that would give my child the best start in her adult life. I made it clear that our finances had limits.

2. Why should Parents NOT pay for college?

A. An opposing camp contends that handouts do more harm than good. This is made worse if your child can’t decide what contribution they want to make in the world; or what career is the best fit with their aptitude.

I will assume you are not independently wealthy. My answer would be do NOT pay if:

• There are too many risk factors that make it unlikely your child will complete a degree<<link>>

• They have no interest in working or making positive contributions to society;

• They are hostile, entitled, and treat you like crap.

3. Can a Parent be forced to pay for college?

A. It depends. It is possible.

But first, let's set the stage with an extreme motivations NOT to pay:

• Let’s say your child has rejected you.

• They are openly hostile to you.

• They’ve forsaken all of your religious beliefs, ethics, and morals.

• They have adopted dangerous or immoral lifestyles (in your opinion).

• They believe your Ex that you are a POS.

• They are addicted and have stolen from you, or have threatened you.

(Yes, I know these scenarios sound extreme, but they are NOT uncommon.)

Can you still be forced to pay for their college? See items 4-7 below that fit your situation.

4. Can I refuse to pay for my kid’s college?

A. YES, IF you are:

• Single

• Married, and both spouses agree NOT to pay

• Divorced and not under family law court order to pay. (Not sure? See 5-7 below).

5. Can I be forced to pay for my kid’s college if I’m divorced?

A. It depends on the state where your divorce was adjudicated, the terms of your divorce decree, and other factors. See my blog that tells when a divorced parent might be forced to pay. ALWAYS seek qualified legal advice from an attorney in your state!

6. Which states require parents to pay for college?

A. There are a few ways a state might require you to pay: by statute (law governing family court proceedings); or by court rulings; or both. These States have laws or court cases requiring college support:

Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, D.C., Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, West Virginia, Washington -- This list of States may change with future statute changes and court cases!

Note: We make no representations as to accuracy of the list above, since laws (and case law) change all the time (and we don't know when you'll visit this page). ALWAYS seek qualified legal advice from an attorney in your state!

7. How do divorce courts determine how much I must pay for a kid's college?

A. It depends on the state that adjudicates your divorce. The main things a family law court considers include:

• What have you said about college?

• What agreements cover college expenses?

• What are your child's desires?

For a more in-depth list, see this Outsmart College post.

ALWAYS seek qualified legal advice from an attorney in your state!

College Cost

Q. How much does it cost to send each kid to college?

A. Costs vary broadly. It can range between $5,000 and $40,000 per year.

Q. What are important cost factors for college?

A. Consider the following cost drivers. and tell you child what you're willing to pay for:

• What type of college (public or private) is appropriate for their career? (ALWAYS the first question!)

• What type of degree or program is necessary for their career objective: two-year or academy; four year degree; graduate or professional degree?

• Will your child attend a community college and transfer to a four-year institution?

• In which state will they attend college (a huge cost driver)?

• Will they attend as a resident or out-of-state student?

• Will they live at home and commute; or live independently?

• Will they live on-campus with a meal plan, or live independently?

• Does your household income exceed ant "Means-Based" Federal Grants or Aid?

FAFSA

Q. What is FAFSA?

A. FAFSA stands for “Free Application For Federal Student Aid.” It is a “Free” application but is REQUIRED for a college student to receive ANY financial aid (even on-campus jobs). It is not the same as a student loan.

Q. Is a Parent REQUIRED to complete the FAFSA application?

A. No. You may complete it if you choose. Colleges and the Federal Government will expect you to complete it. They will suggest that you MUST -- so your child is eligible for student aid. But if your child has rejected your values and reviled you; and believes your Ex that you are the Great Satan … then you are NOT required to complete it. (A Divorce Decree may require you to complete it, however.)

Q. Who is Considered a "Parent" for FAFSA?

A. It is the main custody parent (child living with greater than 50% of the time). Sometimes the lower-earning parent is “chosen” to improve the chance of “needs-based” aid.

Q. Can my Ex find out about my finances through my child’s FAFSA?

A. Yes, it is POSSIBLE if the child sides with your Ex (and has a history of tattling on you). Of course, FAFSA doesn’t address that potential because the government wants parents to pay regardless of negative impacts to you.

I've talked to parents that refused to complete FAFSA to prevent Exes from being alerted to financial matters. ALWAYS seek qualified legal advice from an attorney in your state!

Q. What parts of my finances must be disclosed through FAFSA?

A. Everything. All your finances. Some finances are “exempt” from considering contribution to college; but ALL must be disclosed.

Q. What is the “Expected Family Contribution (EFC)” of FAFSA?

A. The EFC determines students’ eligibility for certain types of federal student aid. EFC is the government’s opinion of how much you “should” pay for EACH of your children’s college education. My blog Outsmart College gives the lowdown.

Student Loans & Cosigning -- Don't!

Q. Should I cosign a student loan as a parent?

A. NO. Why don’t you just give your kid the money? Just sign over part of your paycheck or retirement to your child. If they repay you, fine.

Q. Is a parent required to cosign a student loan?

A. NO. Think really hard before you sign. You may repay some or ALL of it. See items 1-3 below.

1. What happens if I cosign a student loan?

A. You are liable to repay the loan if your child can’t or won’t repay it. You’ll pay if they:

• Don’t bother to look for work.

• Can’t find a job to their “liking.”

• Can’t seem to get hired.

• "Don't feel like it” or “it’s not fair.”

• Want to travel to see the world, find themselves, etc.

2. Why is Co-signing a student loan a Bad idea?

A. Usually, a lender requires a cosigner for a loan when they are convinced that the borrower won't meet their obligations. It can damage your relationship if your child defaults. It can leave you poorer in retirement, and feeling used. There are many potential negatives to consider.

• The Supreme Court of the U.S. upheld the government’s ability to offset YOUR Social Security disability and retirement benefits when a borrower (cosigner) defaults on a student loan (See also 546 U.S. 142; 2005).

• According to data published by AARP, 49% of private student loan cosigners over age 50 end up paying some of student debt (The AARP Public Policy Institute, 2019).

3. Can Cosigning a student loan hurt your credit?

A. Co-signing can hurt your credit score. If your child misses payments or defaults, it will affect your FICO score. Sallie Mae, one important source for student loans, has a web page of helpful factors to consider. Consumer Reports also give important tips.

Online College

Q. Is Online College worth the expense -- since Covid?

A. No. Many college faculty acknowledge that it is not the same quality; and of course your student can’t access the same level of services in distance learning compared to an on-campus experience. At full tuition, online college classes are a ripoff! My blog Outsmart College makes the judgment.