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Emotional abuse in domestic violence cases is not merely a matter of someone getting angry and calling his partner a few names or cursing. Not all verbal insults between partners are acts of violence. In order for verbal abuse to be considered domestic violence, it must be part of a pattern of coercive behaviors in which the perpetrator uses or threatens to use physical force. In domestic violence, verbal attacks and other tactics of control are intertwined with the threat of harm in order to maintain the perpetrator’s dominance through fear. While repeated verbal abuse is damaging to partners and relationships over time, it alone does not establish the same climate of fear as verbal abuse combined with the use or threat of physical harm. The presence of emotionally abusive acts may indicate undisclosed use of physical force or it may indicate possible future domestic violence. There is no way at this time in domestic violence research to predict which emotionally abusive relationships will become violent and which will never progress beyond verbal abuse. If the victim feels abused or controlled or afraid of her partner without showing or offering clear descriptions of physical harm, then the cautious approach would be to accept the patient’s views as stated and to respond with concerns about the victim’s safety and psychological well-being. d. Isolation Perpetrators often try to control victims’ time, activities and contact with others. They gain control over them through a combination of isolating and disinformation tactics. Isolating tactics may become more overtly abusive over time. At first perpetrators cut victims off from supportive relationships by claims of loving them “so much” and wanting to be with them all the time. In response to these statements, victims may initially spend increasing amounts of time with their perpetrators. These subtle means of isolating the victim are then replaced with more overt verbal abuse (e.g., complaints about “interfering” family or “dykey” looking friends, complaints about her spending too much time with others); sometimes the perpetrator uses physical assaults or threats of assault to separate the victim from her family or friends. He may lock her out of her house or control her movements by taking her car keys or forcing her to quit her job. Through incremental isolation, some perpetrators increase their psychological control to the point where they determine reality for the victims. Perpetrators’ use of disinformation tactics such as distorting what is real through lying, providing contradictory information, or withholding information is compounded by the forced isolation of the victims. For example, perpetrators may lie to victims about their legal rights or the outcomes of medical interventions.
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