Sex & Relationships

08-A: Attraction

Similarity

Culture

Social Perception 

WATCH: Attraction: Similarity

WATCH: The Science of Attraction

Many different cultures find different things attractive.  There are many cultural differences in what is considered attractive or unattractive.  Some cultures value light colored skin, some value darker skin. Some cultures value thin and some value large. Certainly clothing styles also change drastically between cultures. Notice some of the differences. 

READ: Geography and Beauty

WATCH: Why Men Think Women Are Flirting

08-B: Biology and Attraction


From a biosocial point of view, the fittest survive and reproduce. Survival concerns, more than anything else, obtaining food and avoiding threats (e.g., predators and the environment). As the theory goes, that is the process of natural selection: those with the genes that make them successful at survival are the ones that create the next generation of survivors.

But what determines whether an individual creature will be successful at reproducing? With sexual reproduction, the offspring is comprised of ½ the genetic material of one parent and ½ of the other. It makes sense, then, that creatures would be motivated to find good genes to mix with their own. Thus, certain traits and preferences have evolved via sexual selection: those with the genes that make them successful at attracting a mate are the ones that create the next generation of attractive creatures.

In some cases it makes perfect sense to suggest that the traits that directly signal fitness would also be the ones that are sexually selected. But in other cases, it may seem quite arbitrary, or it might even be that what is sexy actually makes it harder to survive. For a classic example of this, read about the peacock: 

READ: Why do male peacocks have such a large colorful tail? 

Now read about the sociobiological explanation of why mates choose each other.  Most of the learning objectives for this section come from this article:

READ: Human Mating Strategies 

08-C: The Science of Sex


READ: The Science of Sex

08-D: Sexual Orientation


READ: The science behind a more meaningful understanding of sexual orientation

READ: 10 Scientific Facts About Sexual Orientation 

READ: Ten Myths About Sexual Orientation, Debunked By Science 

08-E: The Need to Belong

Before we talk about sex, let's talk about belonging. We all need belonging.  We need to feel included and cared about by other people.  This need is different from a desire to feel popular or even to be in a large group of people.  Instead, it is a need to feel like we really are cared for by small group of people, normally family members and/or friends.


READ: The Need to Belong

08-F: Social Support

Regardless of how much belonging we have, we need people to help us out when we need it.  Not only that, we need to believe that people will help us out when we do need it.  The help we get from others is called social support.  You can get social support from those who provide belonging, but you can get it from other people too.  Read the following: 

READ: Social Support

08-G: A How-To Guide for Healthy Relationships

Science of Relationships is a website run by psychologists whose specialities are on attraction, dating, sex, commitment, breakups, etc. They have put together some useful information for college students to better understand their own relationships.

READ: Relationships 101: Having Healthy Relationships in Your First Year of College 

08-H: Communication


READ: The Psychology of Close Relationships