Why the Hate?

Feeling the sun beaming in my face was the best feeling ever, as much as we see the sun rarely does it ever scorch my face in the right spot. My name is Aurick, and i was given that name by the person i hated the most. I never realized how evil my father was to my younger self. If it wasn't for...my mother.... and that boy. The noise of ice cubes hitting together as I drink my vodka echo knocking something in memory. Nope... still cant remember his name. I then walk back inside for a refill. I should just keep the bottle out here. I get annoyed that i always leave it in the house. I like it here, but perhaps it's a little to big for one old man to live. I start pouring and here a door open as two little kids sprint out through MY storage room giggling there way out. "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHI-" I must've slipped on some little trap they put down. I struggled to get up, so i think I'll just stay here. Something in my room made a big bang, as I peek over I feel more riled up. I look down at what I slipped on and it was an old Nazi badge I used to have. "I wonder.... if I can still...... find that.... YES!" I blow the dust off of my old journal my mom bought for me, maybe then i can recall everything and perhaps remember that boy. I walk out with my bottle and book, lay on my favorite chair, and started remembering.

"Come on SON, you have to run faster, I know you can" Running around the house with my dad was the worst, and i can feel once of my body giving up and hitting the floor, but i still pulled through. "Just a little further, come DON'T GIVE UP BOAH" As soon as i passed the rock I landed on the grass while my dad is cheering me on. I only heard him say something about food and I just happily panted on the grass. I look up and feel that warmth of the sun and know that I had it good. I like to think it's my lucky 10th birthday feeling the love of the sun on my face. "AURCIKKKK" As soon as I heard my name I sprint with the little energy I still have towards my mom. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" They both sing happy birthday to me as there holding a big chocolate cake. "Okay honey, make a wish and remember, don't tell us like you did last time." I wish that nothing will ever change, that we will be one big happy family on this barn with my favorite animals. "YEEEAH" Then we all start eating the cake as one big happy family for the last time. There was then a knock on the door, I know who exactly it was and sprinted towards the door as I see my best friend and his mom behind the door. As soon as i let him in we sprinted outside towards the well where we ran in circles trying to chase each other making plane noises. Then we gather rocks, found cover and try to hit each other. We did get in trouble, but we still did it because it's fun. We eventually got tried and flopped on on the floor. I look at my friend in his eye and almost forgot his right eye is blinded. I try to touch it with my finger, but he usually gets pretty mad at me. "So is your dad going back to work." "Uhhhhh I don't know lets go ask him." We then sprinted back to the house. "Dad, when are you going back to work" I asked as i jump into his lap. "Hahaha well not for long since your all grown up and ready to train to be just like daddy." "Whoa, don't you think it's a little to early to start that, remember what we talked abo-" "NOO, we can start tomorrow on basics, WE already went through this" "No no no, its too early" She then sank into the sofa and my dad run up too her hands up flying across her face. I have never seen anything like that, I've only seen them argue but never making physical contact. I made eye contact with my mom and I had never felt so sick to my stomach. I couldn't hear my dad properly but he point up stairs into my room. I looked back and say him ushering my friends out the door, it seemed for a moment there I had remembered his name something with an A. I found my room and dove onto my bed trying to see if I did say my wish out loud while i still heard screaming. It was hard falling asleep so i tried to write something nice in my new journal. When i started writing I wanted to only focus on the positives that happened today but I couldn't, it was hard.

I woke up the next day not realizing how much of my life would change without my mom. I went to my parents room to only find that my dad was sitting on the bed facing out towards the window. "Your mom's not coming back kid" he turns to look at me "Don't worry i didn't do anything to her but just argue." "haha, to be honest I kidna wanted her gone." He gets up and gets in my face "She was holding you back Aurick, heh did you know I gave you that name" he puts his hand on my shoulder "That name means a great ambitious leader, and thats gotta be you" He pokes me in my heart with his sharp finger and before I know it I'm signing up for a spot to help the Germans invade Poland.

"Kid, you gonna sign it or what." My dad staring me down, I had forgot what I was doing here for a moment, so I signed the paper and walked off feeling proud for what I will do for my country. We walk out and drive our way back home while my dad congratulates me. I think about the new uniform I would get, all my friends cheering me on at school and the many more people I get to meet. We hit home and we get out the car, both knowing what we need to do. We get our guns, go out in the woods to get ready to hunt. I love hunting with my dad, I still remember the first time we went hunting. At first I was still missing my mom and didn't feel the need to do anything with my dad, but now I feel like I'm doing this for her. My dad also tells me that this was for here, but whenever I ask him what happened that night he always says "It would hurt you if i told you, you wouldn't think of me the same." When we finish up hunting, we headed back home for dinner and got some good sleep.

My dad goes to work in the mornings and never wakes me up but today was quite unusual. He went to work and came back claiming that we had to go now. I didn't understand what was going on, but my dad debriefed me saying there was a riot outbreak at a church prosecuting Jews. "Why isn't there any cops showing up, why us?" "Because son, they came well prepared and it's time we put them down let the savages that they are." I was still unsure of how to handle this situation, calling in the military on some town folk seemed a bit overkill. "Maybe we should go back dad, there just some locals that don-" "DON"T YOU UNDERSTAND SON, this is the time to kill some filthy pigs without getting in any trouble, isn't that what you wanted!" I looked in disbelief at my shoes, he was right, I must have been in the program for a reason, but killing innocent town folk who fight to just have a voice seemed wrong to me. Before we pulled up to the church we could see the fire hundreds of blocks, it did seem pretty dangerous from this far. We pulled up and some Sgt's gave my dad the summary of what happened. I look on my right down the block and see people running in fear as one of us, guns them down. She looked like she wouldn't hurt a fly but yet still must suffer. I continue down the block and see that there are more troopers beating and slaughtering others that stand in there way. I kept walking and saw an alley way where there was a trooper beating a girl onto the floor and he then pull his pants down but I had ran quickly, wanting to erase everything i just laid eyes on. I did see someone run into and house with a shotgun, I had to run to try and help them. As soon as I ran in he started shooting me on the stairs and i ran into the room right next door. I had my pistol aimed at the doorway waiting for him to slowly walk back in. I heard him moving put it sounded like it was in the hallway, not on the stairs. I then see some one's hands up and his face was in disbelief after seeing what was in my hand. "Easy, I don't to hurt anyone." I put the gun on the floor but when I look up at him again I noticed something. "It's- It's you isn't it.... ADAM!" I was so shocked, I would never have dreamed of seeing him again, he then hugged me with some tears streaming down his face. "You need to see this." He then brings me into a room with my mom on a bed with a tube in her nose. She looks at me and smiles, I can see in her eyes that she wishes things turned out differently, and so do I.

I then close my book, It's already night time and not a single sip was taken from my bottle. I hold it on my chest wishing that it didn't end like this, that we could have been one happy family.