Have you ever read Zsof's Rules? Go read it, I'll wait. I was interviewed by her and Lord Lucas for their Simply Scadian podcast, where we eventually got onto the subject of why I Really wanted to be Estelle's Minion, a couple of years before she was even Elevated, and what "Peer Like Qualities" were. Oddly that's an Easy thing for me to answer, "I've no idea, it seems impossibly vague and everyone I hear speaking about it gives a totally different answer."
Pro Tip: Become Dependent of someone who calls out your crap.
Sir Ephraim's wonderful essay on the Oath of Chivalry, which is worth reading and bringing to heart. These are some of the people who inspire me, which is a whole other topic.
Yeah I know. TL:DR, "I don't know what PLQs ARE . . . but I know what they Aren't."
Okay So . . .
While not everyone inspires me, some folks nonetheless teach important lessons. Male pronouns throughout, but not all examples below are male.
Don't be the fighter who takes blows from a Duke he wouldn't take from from anyone else. That's insulting to the Duke, who knows how to deliver a proper blow, and your other opponents, who pretty much Also know how to deliver a blow.
Don't be the fencer or fighter who never, Ever loses to a woman when an important Championship or Crown is on the line.
Don't be the marshal who, when a trans fighter comes up for inspection, Always finds an MIT to pass them off on.
Don't be the fencer who routinely bruises younger opponents. But your calibration is perfect when you face a MoD.
Don't be the fighter who routinely shrugs off blows from women.
Don't be Fancy Title Dude who snipes at a younger woman about how horrible her garb is. I see you ignoring my awful garb, which shows me you're just a bully.
Don't be the guy who, when asked for advice, gives either completely non-actionable or completely inappropriate suggestions. Telling a fighter who's unsure of their footwork to practice a mullenet, or telling a cook who struggles with heat control to try working sugar subtleties.
Don't be the guy who, when asked about Cool Thing You Do, present a frankly impossible set of prerequisites to any who dare enter your domain.
Don't be the guy who demands that Everyone follow your Exact path. Not all Knights were Squires. Not all Cooking Laurels are feast chefs.
Don't be The Guy who only ever mentors pretty young women. That's Amazingly inappropriate. GUYS . . this is US. Don't be That Guy!
Don't be the guy who makes excuses or covers up bad behavior. Do I even need to say that?
Don't be the guy who accepts and defends "the way we've always done it" when that way is exclusionary and doesn't work for many people.