First year:
Most likely to sit under a tree and find enlightenment: Ellie Wilson
Most likely to start a fist-fight at an academic conference: Noelle Hatherall
The modern Gilgamesh and Enkidu: Conor Molony and Adrian Jimenez
Always willing to share notes: Haleema Ghauri
Most likely to be swallowed by a whale and live to tell the tale: Anaïs Continghi
Always following their dharma: Gabriella Priori
Lives by nonaction: Zayn Daureeawoo
Confucius’ favourite disciple: Fatemeh Mousavi
Would write papers as long as the Mahabharata if they could: Martyna Zwierzynski
Can always be found in the lounge: Minna Glendinning
The first one to giggle in the Trojan horse: Julia Cabrera
Second year:
Most likely to be the reincarnated soul of an ancient philosopher: Thomas Cormier
Most likely to be executed for being smarter than everyone: Grace Richards
Most likely to be burned at the stake after ignoring censorship demands from the Catholic Church: Sophia Laporte
Most likely to write a self-insert fanfic featuring your first love: Alecsandra Vlad
Most likely to star in Inferno: Kyla Momanyi
Most likely to be canonized as a saint: Charlotte Styvers
Most likely to go straight to Paradise: Avarey Daunte
Most likely to be canonized as a saint in the Catholic Church: Charlotte Styvers
Most likely to be the second coming of Christ: Lawrence Brass
Most likely to ascend to godhood: Mahd Chaudhry
Most likely to be the singular inciting event for the Day of Judgement: Breanna Looby
Most like Virgil: Ana Victoria Jankowski
Most likely to be a tyrant in MacIssac’s eyes: Eulalie Reesink-Babillon
Most likely to need a lovely lady to guide them through Paradise: Nico Charron-Groulx
Third year:
Most likely to create a monster, regret it immediately, and go insane: Carissa Cabral
Most likely to write 126 gay sonnets for a fair youth: Mallory Quinn
Duo most similar to Don Quixote and Sancho: Jake Carabetta and Luke O’Brien
Professor Kellow’s biggest opp: Faith Woody
Most similar to Rameau’s nephew: Jake Carabetta
Best essay titles: Erika Rakowsky
Biggest procrastinator: Reid Reynolds
Most likely to eat the forbidden fruit because their girlfriend said so: Mallory Quinn
Most likely to escape hell: Erika Rakowsky
Most likely to switch their major to economics after reading Adam Smith: Malia Specht
Most likely to be reading 5 books at once, some not even for hums: Hannah Wanamaker
Fourth year:
Most likely to carry 8:30 am discussion group: August
Most likely to be spontaneous and embody action: Hailey
Most likely to keep all their hums books: Holly
Best hums duo: Maddy & Julia
Biggest modernist: Emiliano
Most likely to have watch the movie Prof Farhang is talking about: Bhoomi
Most likely to be the reborn version of Virgina Wolf: Nina
Most likely to live by the categorical imperative: Audrey
Biggest Freudian freak: Darren
Biggest procrastinator: Sam
Most likely to be enlightened: Abi
Most likely to be the overman: August
Most likely to start a modern day renaissance: Isabelle
Favourite professor: Erik Stephenson
Favourite text: Friedrich Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra