◉ I think i'm in love, but why do I fall in love with people that are hard to reach..... I'll at least try

◉ I talk too much about eSports here apparently lol

◉ I'm 20 years old today, April 24th

◉ FUCK YES, LOUD WON! Four-time champion, FAZ O LLL

◉ GO LOUD GO LOUD GO LOUD GO LOUD

◉ Oh wow, that time of the year were I fucking hate my artstyle and everything I try to draw already came in? Shit

◉ I've been quite busy, which is good! That's why i'm not updating much the journal

◉ LOUD won from paiN, BEST DAy of my life

◉ paiN vs LOUD LETS GO

◉ I want to update more characters portraits, so much that it hurts, because I want to do something well done!

◉ Though I'm not having much ideas about what to draw, I sure am working on a lot of other stuff. Most of all i'm REALLY trying to learn Live2D and also working on a new game project. This project specifically is very simple and short, I can work on it even on my fragile state

◉ I had to change medicines, which made me quite "happy", I didn't felt any more pain so its ok I guess

◉ I've been travelling so I couldn't update the website. Now I'm making some content, enough so I can do a quite big update on the site itself

◉ LOUD won YIPEEEEEEEE

◉ Next week there will be games of RED Kalunga vs LOUD. I can't wait!!!

◉ I like it when I have this hype for live streaming every once in a while because I feel like doing the assets, overlays, avatars (etc), and I just... Do it. Without even hesitating or procrastinating. I wonder why I don't feel the same way with some of my projects...

◉ The entire day I felt like I was going to faint at any moment. Whenever I got up I felt my mind going numb and my body heavy. I don't know how I survived

◉ When I arrived at my job I was full of sweat. I felt so uncomfortable and yucky that I cried

◉ I was feeling so miserable today. Was it a relapse?... I spent some money on a game and I felt somewhat better, I think I was needing a little treat

◉ I'm a fucking mess lmao, I will once again try to mesh my livestream activities with my main account instead of having a separate one

◉ I don't usually take naps, but today I decided to because I wasn't feeling well. I woke up feeling even worse...

◉ Y'know, I sometimes feel bad that I'm not developing any of my game projects, but at least I'm doing more stuff that I didn't knew I was still capable of doing. I need to pressure myself less, I think i'm doing things at my own pace know and it is going quite smootly (sorta)

◉ Paying your credit card debt is one of the satisfactions of adulthood

◉ I hate medicine I hate medicine I hate medicine I hate medicine I hate medicine I hate medicine I hate medicine

◉ I'm enjoying doing little 5 frame gif animation to some vtubers I like, but i'm afraid one of them thinks i'm being parasocial with her, because prior of me doing this lil gift, I already sent her a DM... I hate when people get parasocial with me, so I would hate giving this feeling to someone else. Please, it wasn't my intention

◉ My shoulders were KILLING ME today. I had to take out some money from my backup to buy a shampoo (finally!) and cat litter. A sack of cat litter weights around 4kg. I put this all on my backpack and wore it, and walked all the way home with it on my back. I don't feel pain in my shoulders anymore :D

◉ The happiness I feel when I help someone can't be described in words. I feel that my specific knowledges are worth something

◉ I've been wondering what would I do if I found out that without my permission my art is being used to train AI machines or being sold as NFT. Like... There are no laws as far as I know... What could I do? I feel helpless when I think about this

◉ paiN lost today. I'm happy :). RED Canids Kalunga lost to Loud, which I'm not very sad about, since I cheer for both teams, but I'm more on the side of Loud tho. So, I'm double happy :))

◉ I still wasn't able to buy a shampoo. I had to fill the bottle with water so I could (poorly) wash my hair today. Better than nothing I guess

◉ I saw that the website recently got 203 individual views. I was thinking of doing a lil milestone "thank you" art for this, since I don't get followers on Twitter at all lmfao

◉ I had a deep existential crisis when walking to my job, thinking about the concept of forgetting, what happens when we die, and if all I was looking at was real to begin with

◉ I hate that I need medicine, but I'm already feeling some differences, especially on my sleep. I think I never rested so well, not to mention I stopped waking up in the middle of the night

◉ Altough I already noticed the signs, I didn't expected that I actually had depression. I was diagnosed some weeks ago and I'm still thinking about it. "Persistent depression", and is probably chronical he said. My dad looked right away for a psychiatrist and I'm already medicated

◉ The week was rough, I didn't turn on my PC at all, I only turned it on once to chat with my LoL duo (lmao). So to make up to it I'll add a lot of things here.

◉ I wanted to never need to have a job again

◉ I'm very invested in my fish OCs. I already have plans to finally put to life their game project after I finish some artworks.

◉ Sometimes I find myself wondering about how we can learn new languages, or how these languages were created to begin with, and I imagine that the voice of their thoughts are in their native language, and they understand it. Does that make sense?

◉ I don't know if this was the best way to start, but I had to debut this new section somehow.

◉ I did not took good care of my money this month. I need a shampoo.

🎶 bokura no omoi wa

makka ni somatte tonderu naka

itsu made mo issho de ite ne 🎶