Recharge

Senior year of high school has been stressful from the get go. On top of more difficult classes, 3 seasons of running, and extracurriculars, we’ve also had to deal with applying to colleges — and not to mention, the rejections!

The week prior to winter break was absolute hell. Up until 2:07 pm on December 17th, I was taking midterms, finishing class projects, and planning with my teachers. I had more responsibility and stress than I had ever experienced all at once. I constantly worried if I was doing enough and broke down more than once. I had a conference with my counselor wondering if everything was going to be okay, if everything was under control, if I was doing everything right.

There was nothing that I wanted more than to get on my flight to England to visit family for the winter, knowing that I had done all of what I needed to do with no excuses left for stress. Thankfully, this trip did not fall short. It allowed me to not only take a deep breath, but also recharge.

To be honest, it took me about a week to really appreciate where I was and what I was doing. I expected my stress to disappear right as my plane landed, but I didn’t feel it until later. However, this was not due to a lingering assignment or a college application; it came down to my mentality.

For over a year, it has been a hustle. A mindset of having to get the next thing done, do my best, and not let my family and supporters down. This hustle mentality was still running in my subconscious long after I reached England. It was a habit at this point, and I didn’t even know that I had crossed the line and was unhealthily worrying and stressing.

But it was only when I spent time with family and truly took a step back that I realized — I had put my best foot forward. I had given my full effort and optimistic energy into my college applications and high school career. I had left nothing on the table. I did not let anyone down, and most importantly, I did not let myself down.

Spending time with the people I love, the people who have unwavering faith in me, made me understand the most reassuring truth: Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. It’s been predestined and it’s out of my hands, but wherever I end up is where I’m meant to be.

Yes, it’s imperative to strive to be the best version of yourself and work hard. However, the necessity of taking a real break is often overlooked when people try to achieve this goal.

No matter what, the world will keep running full speed ahead. You need to decide what YOU need. This was proven by the immediate flood of work right when I got back. I was greeted by unapologetic faces that made me feel guilty for taking a break... until I attributed it to mental health.

It shouldn’t have to take the word “mental health” for people to respond with a rehearsed answer or to understand why you took a break. Yes, it’s for your happiness, focus, and overall health, but taking care of all of these things should be on the forefront of everyone’s minds. Shouldn’t it?

Even when people do book tickets for vacations, they do not earnestly switch off and allow themselves to recharge. As I mentioned before, it took me a little over a week to have this epiphany and truly begin to let go.

Still, this is equally as important as shooting for the moon and landing in the stars. Taking time to recharge shouldn’t make us feel guilty.