When We Think We Can't

I have always believed that events, regardless their nature, unfold with the purpose of bringing positive change to our lives. This conviction was put to the test during my third year as an English teacher in a private institution. Initially, the job had become my comfort zone, and I felt a sense of accomplishment in honing my teaching skills. However, beneath the surface, a lingering feeling of inadequacy persisted, casting doubt on the effectiveness of my methods or the way classes were approached.

This internal conflict reached a turning point with the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic. While the pandemic brought about horror for many educators and students, it also served as catalyst for profound realizations. it exposed the vulnerabilities in stakeholders' attitudes, Internet connectivity, and technological knowledge, adding unforeseen challenges to the teaching landscape. In the face of this adversities, my uncertainties about my teaching methods became more pronounced. despite receiving praises, I questioned whether I was truly effective in adapting to the new circumstances. The struggle to uphold quality teaching practices became more palpable than ever.

I spent more than 10 hours a day in front of a screen, delivering classes that seemed to blend into one another without any noticeable engagement from my students or personal satisfaction as a teacher. The monotony became overwhelming and depressing, pushing me to reconsider my career choice. Teaching had become a source of stress and unhappiness. In a desperate but bold move, I decided to pursue a change in career direction, opting for a study in International Logistics, a filed seemingly distant from the classroom and monotony life. The decision might sound extreme or unconventional--but it marked a pivotal moment of transformation. Around the same time, a friend told me about a scholarship program offering opportunities to study abroad. The idea resonated with me and given the challenges I was facing in education and technology; it seemed like the right path to explore.

Curiously, I did not have the chance to discuss this life-altering decision with anyone in my immediate circle. None of my friends, former teachers, or colleagues were familiar with this shift. Nevertheless, s strong conviction in the connection between education, technology, and my future path fueled my determination. It was a leap into the unknown, but I was certain it was the direction I needed to take to remain immersed in the world of education.

As a prerequisite for accessing the scholarship program, I was required to pursue my studies in a university outside my home country, prospect that initially seemed logistically challenging. After having explored extensive educational programs across different U.S. universities, I stumble upon the Master of Arts in Education at Michigan State University (MSU), offered in an online format. While initiating the application process, I have to admit that I had my reservations about being admitted. Also, I was not convinced I would have a real learning experience. Additionally, The idea of undertaking and master's degree initially felt like a venture beyond my grasp, evoking a sense of trepidation. It was not a lifelong dream of mine, and I entered the application with a mixture of uncertain and fear. However, receiving the acceptance letter felt like a culmination of a long awaited anticipation. From that moment onward, my education journey at MSU has been a transformative process, reshaping my perspectives, teaching methodologies, and approaches to learning. It is remarkable how this experience has not only broadened my understanding of the world but also ignited a deep shift in my way of thinking.

Firstly, it expanded my understanding of what it meant online education. To me, it was just synchronic meetings on Zoom and teachers asking whether students were on the other side of the screen or not. Secondly, his course helped me gain a deep understanding about the different modes of online learning and teaching. Universal Design for Learning, rubrics, and the fact of approaching Learning Management Systems with a critical view has been essential for designing lessons whether online or face-to-face courses. All this learning experience took me beyond Zoom as the only tech tool. I am happy to share the food and restaurant course as a great example of how CEP820 shaped my view toward online teaching. This was just the beginning of this adventure.

Diving into the world of education and technology started pretty well. Going through CEP810 Teaching for Understanding with Technology also strengthened my skills both as a teacher and as a learner. This experience was very impactful because on the one hand, I became aware that education has to be adapted when it comes to technological tools. In doing so, Cooking with TPACK was a great way to show how educators strive in offering meaningful learning experiences to students when the right tools are not available. Even though, I am aware that it is not the tool itself which helps me keep up with good teaching practices, rather it is the combination of Technology, Pedagogy, Content and Knowledge (TPACK) which informs good technology assisted educational practices. On the other hand, I have learned that knowledge may be acquired in different ways, and that technology is a powerful tool to learn new things. For example, exploring affinity spaces and creating a Professional Learning Network was very useful to learn how to draw. Now, I keep that principle in my classes and I have become a TikTok user due to all the affordances it offers as an affinity space. The point is that I have changed the way I teach and learn by expanding my scopes to non-academic resources.

or be adapted to learning styles in the 21st century.Perhaps due to the peak of digital tools that offer almost everybody the opportunity to explore and learn different languages, there is the sensation that the job of English teachers is vanishing. Nevertheless, I learned that this is a misconception. What I, as an English teacher, have become conscious of is that there is a huge need for doing something with language instead of learning or teaching it itself. Some of the issues Educators should address through language are digital literacy, and sociocultural matters. Besides, I gained a broad repertoire of tools specifically developed to achieve different objectives traced in language teaching.

Maturity level-In and outside of the technological field.

In a broader way, I have to acknowledge that the Master of Arts in Education has helped me grow professionally. During my path through my undergraduate program, I worked in the construction field which was kind of heavy. So, I remember my main goal was just earning my bachelor's degree, and then getting a good paid job that was easier than the one I had at that time. When I finished it, I thought I had acquired enough skills to be a support for others, but I realized I was not as ready as I thought. Therefore, I knew I needed to take my professional practices to a higher level. Now, in the Master of Arts, I made sure to make the best of every interaction, every assignment, every piece of reading because this is not a matter of earning a diploma anymore, this is a matter of being an expert in what I like to do. I have demonstrated this readiness when I participate in different task in my workplace, when administratives ask me for the best way of making decisions related to education and technology.

Not only has my professional growth been shaped but also the way I think and see the world around me. I mentioned earlier that I never thought about being a graduate student because it represented large expenses in a country like mine, and that may not be compensated in an educational workplace. Perhaps I had this way of thinking because I had not dreamed higher enough. I was not totally aware that I could be more than a teacher. Following, at some point I thought I was turning too old to embark on a quest for knowledge. However, Neither the monetary constraint nor how old I am is what matters, it is my attitude toward what I want. This way of thinking has been deeply changed during my path through MSU. During this journey, I have learned that learning is not an end product, there is an ongoing construction over what has been learned, it is what provides us with wisdom, that it is never late to be seduced by novelty and the fact of re-relearning. In that sense, anybody has the capacity to turn into long-life learner as I consider myself now.

I can assure my perspective has taken another point of view. The world in which I live nowadays is not the world my parents or my grandparents lived in. Environments change quickly and this implies I have to exercise different roles; this is the point where I remember that I am ready to be more than just a teacher. I feel I can exercise leadership with a clear philosophy in mind. On the one hand, being a technological educator is not only about being able to use tech tools inside a classroom but also being critical towards its uses and implementation. In that sense, I am sure I have developed skills that allow me to listen to different bodies, investigate, develop empathy and come up with proposals not for the technological sake but for students' best learning experiences and institutions results. Even thought, not everything is about tech and education. It is also about families and students, and how education turns into a discriminatory system when implemented erroneously.

One of the most impactful aspects I am familiar now with is how social believes conscious or unconsciously inhibits students and families from social development. I strongly believe that the fact of being exposed to several readings and discussions has made me re-think about my attitude in the educational field. For example, deficit ideology is one the theories many educators are not familiar with, and it causes that many teachers blame students and their family if they fail at school, and in general social life. Additionally, the world in which we live nowadays is ruled under some type of norms people need to follow if they want to be part of an “elite group". So, I have understood that many of the social issues we have nowadays start at schools because of biases or deficit ideologies. For instance, As an English teacher I had always thought English is a beautiful language people should learn. Nevertheless, diving into different courses, assignments, and discussions helped me be more critical. In that sense, I raised interests in knowing how my teaching subject could be a source of poverty, discrimination and social inequity. Incredibly I found that English as a global language contributes to social disparity.

Then end point.

In summary, the Covid-19 was one of the events that pushed me to the limit, therefore I took a step forward to a world of knowledge in the Master of Art at Michigan State University in which I found a great level of wisdom. In spite of the fact that I was not truly convinced about online education, it has been the best educational experience I have had in my life. I have developed skills to face the challenges teaching and learning in the 21st century; this involves leadership, critical thinking, collaboration, and most recently my interests for doing research.