Greetings to all my students. Years ago I was signed up to take the CSET English. Four tests that you have to pass in order to be an English teacher among all of the other requirements. You get four hours to take the tests, and you can do one at a time, or all four in one session. My career path and financial state could not afford to wait, so I signed up for all four.
The day of the test, I had a morning job proctoring a practice SAT. One of my side jobs was teaching fairly rich kids how to pass the SAT with a company called the Princeton Review. The SAT Proctoring job was in Folsom and the CSET was at Kennedy High School in the Elk Grove area. I had a coffee but no other breakfast and proctored the test for three and a half hours. I figured I would hit a drive thru on the way to Elk Grove.
Folsom to Elk Grove turned out to be a longer distance than I estimated, and then the traffic was terrible. The CSET starts at 1pm and I had to change my plan in order to make it. No lunch. The CSET is the hardest test that I have ever taken and it was mandatory that I pass it. I could retake it, but it would cost money again, and it would be months later. The four tests were 50 multiple choice on literacy pedagogy and early childhood development. 50 multiple choice questions on the history of literature and classics. 2 long form essay questions and 4 short form essay questions. I took the hardest test of my life on a growling empty stomach, tired from the proctoring that is mostly clock watching, stressed from intense traffic while traveling to a location I had never been before, all before writing six essays and answering 100 questions in under four hours.
Introduction
To open the class I would like to know how well you write in a "worst case scenario" with a topic you can't prepare for, in a room with too many people, under time pressure, and in a highly distracting environment.
The difficulty is at challenge level and you will receive full points for effort, instead of judgment based on the product.
As a teacher, I need to know that you have the skill to focus on learning. You need to be able to avoid the chirping, glittering, shiny escapes of the world while doing the work to completion. This especially includes the things you are not good at, and do not find interesting.
Distraction Challenge is the intentionally misleading title of the Sentence Complexity Writing Workshop.This is a challenge that I do typically the second day of a new school year and carry it into the week.
Workshop Cover Sheet: Distraction Challenge/Syntax Workshop Activities
The prompt for the distraction challenge should be focused on an abstract concept in which a judgment must be made. The answer should not be approachable using dialogue or narrative anecdote. .
Handout: The Cultural Iceberg (I tend to pick topics for this challenge that require a definition of a cultural item.)
Why don't you do the things you know you should be doing?
What does the word American mean?
What does it mean to be an adult?
What is something kids do or understand better than adults?
THIS IS NO GAME PREPARE YOURSELF
MUSIC TIME
Spongebob Squarepants: Pineapple - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T0AIePeUnI
Frozone Dances La Chona with Tio Choko - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6MbzLgCh00
Richard Cheese - Despacito - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV-JflLHleU
Cold Open: "I Want It That Way" by Jake and the Lineup - Brooklyn Nine-Nine
High School Dance - Geeks vs. Cool Kids - Scott Winn - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5KeReQEUe8
BOTHERING TIME
ASMR Sushi Platter Feast - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j73xDZSENhU
Gnome Puking - Gravity Falls - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qGg6LCd9Ec
Who's That Pokemon? - https://www.youtu be.com/watch?v=EE-xtCF3T94
RWBY Volume 2 Episode 1: Epic Food Fight!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yhmrFN6A-g
Freestyle 1stPlace🏆董逸DongYi &Linglong | 2019 USDDN China Qualifier/Asia DiscDog Championship(ADDC)
Stormy Weather (1943) The Nicholas Brothers dance and Cab Calloway performs "Jumpin' Jive"
Funny Commercial Ads 2018 - Geico - Longest goal celebration ever
Jackie Chan vs Benny Urquidez fight from Meals on Wheels (1984)
Distractions
Uptown Funk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_Fk0i9Vq_o
Quicksilver's Scene in X-Men Apocalypse - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnZqB5Z75zI
Tanks Vs Car - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0Pd_C_r1l4
Little Einsteins Remix - Eddie Melendez - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkDA51hCt98
It's Raining Tacos 10 Hours - Parry Gripp and Boonebum - https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=A3YmHZ9HMPs
Martians Discover A Telephone - Sesame Street - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTc3PsW5ghQ
Pink Fluffy Unicorns 1 Hour - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUCgC_TukKg
Top Soccer Shootout Ever with Scott Sterling - Studio C - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F9jXYOH2c0
US ARPS 2007 - ESPN - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eanWnL3FtM
Someone Like Me (Clean Version) - Ylvis - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RBpdOLOSyY
Richard Cheese - Watch Me Whip - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFXXlNlBxHM
Pop Goes Metal #2: Walk The Moon - Shut Up And Dance (ft. Hannah Maddox) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skwklrSkqBE
Gabe Havana - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxfOjfM35dY
THE BEST EARWAX REMOVAL EVER! (and most gross) | Dr. Paul: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OVd_-nhsyI
Cell Phone Vibration Sound - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ine8Akpo2BM
Dance Distractions
Cat Lady Dance - Scott Winn - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch00H2aaA3s
Desi Hoppers - WOD 2015 1st Place - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm3fcOmbzWI
Just Jerk - Body Rock 2016 1st Place - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6filTvPb3U
Napoleon Dynamite Dance - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcWPiHjIExA
Stormtrooper Twerk - Scott Winn - https:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqfHvoUtkU
Music That You Didn't Know You Know
Aaron Copland - Hoedown (1942)
Chet Atkins - Jam Man (1997)
Cliff Friend and Dave Franklin - The Merry Go Round Broke Down (1937)
Edvard Grieg - Morning Song (1875)
Leo Arnauld - Buglers Dream (1958)
Raymond Scott - Powerhouse (1937)
Santo & Johnny - Sleepwalk (1959)
Sentence Complexity Workshop
Now it is day two. The essays from the challenge are returned to the student without being read or graded. The students should be given time to look at their work through English teacher eyes.
For this workshop, the students will self-assess the first two sections.
Count up the uses of all punctuation. Better writers use more of the tools available to them. 10th Grade Level writers will discover they used a healthy amount of commas. Weaker writers will count many many periods.
For every end mark counted (period, exclamation mark, question mark) look carefully at each sentence and determine its complexity. Examples are provided, and if you still don't understand based on the examples, then wait until the workshop is over and come back to this task.
While we wait for everyone else to count up, fast students may browse the third and fourth sections. We will not be requiring this today, but you may if you like. If this were an honors course, we would be having more discussions about the third and fourth sections.
Now I could have read and graded all of your essays and told you that most of you are simple writers, but that would make you dislike me, and most students unfortunately do not read a teacher's written comments with a goal of fixing or improving themselves. We do workshops like this so that you can tell yourself all the ways your writing is not complex. This is a much safer method for me because I don't get all of the hate, and since you are having this academic conversation with yourself privately, improvement can happen.
Presentation: Sentence Complexity Workshop
With an extra slice of paper, follow along as we go through the slides. The essay, the syntax analysis worksheet, and this presentation set of notes are all going to be turned in for credit.
Extra Rounds
Depending on the needs of the class, you can do more with this essay.
A reflective write analyzing what types of distractions work on each student
An improvement write that takes a paragraph or half-page chunk of the first draft and improves it to have more complexity and more punctuation.
Follow up workshops heading into the third and fourth sections.