2021-2022

When you open your door

And host a feast at your table

You never know who takes a seat

A kind neighbour or a hungry beast.

In everyone’s smile lies

A hidden truth, their goodwill,

Or a train of thought that ends in terror

Their lips speak well but they deceive better.

When you make a toast and take a sip of your wine

You realise everyone is here on borrowed time

You could tell your story but others

Could care less about how you spent your prime.

When you split your bread in half

They are dissecting your words

Everyone knows what they came for

Except for the poor little host who is enjoying the oyster.

The power your seat holds

Can’t be bought by a vote.

It will be fought for on a mountain covered with melting snow

They admire your title so they put on a show.

When you taste the sourness of animal flesh

You ponder on this unsavoury meat

Suddenly the air feels so heavy

You can’t tell your husband apart from your enemy.

When you scoop a spoonful of blueberry pie

Everyone already seems so full

Look closely and you just might catch the lie,

They chose you because you couldn’t even if the heavens cry.

When your collar traps your Adam’s apple

When your throat is as dry as a desert

Everyone is smiling when you can’t swallow anymore

Because unlike you, everyone knows what they came for.

I tripped across a smooth lane road,

And dove into my dearest world,

The heart struggling to carry the load,

I felt no pain, neither the heat nor the cold.

The cold silence flowed wide,

That's when I heard the whisper inside,

Faster I breathe, louder it cried.

Another scream, and my brain to collide.

The silence dropped and the water rushed in,

It filled me up and it pulled me in,

Was it a consequence of my sin,

I dont want to know nor I want to win.

The whistling voices were slowed down,

Was that an end to the little mourn,

I wish it continued till the dawn,

A little escape from being a pawn.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow,

Piling up the heap of sorrow.

Under the sky, over the seas,

A lost man willing to please.

Cheers with a smile everyone he meets,

But no hand in return for him to greet.

It's never enough what you feel,

Every milestone requires a zeal.

What your heart fears will run you over,

Burn in the flames but be sober.

You dive too deep looking for seabed,

But don’t get drowned with the ocean overhead.

Now he stops searching,

Holds back a li’l.

And yes, he found something,

No voyager didn't.

In the midst of night,

Sailing in the ocean of thoughts.

Go where the winds take you,

Deserts or waterfalls.

Destiny will find you with open arms,

Be it barren lands or cherry farms.

Swirling in the sky,

Dancing on your beat.

Yes you've quelled the hurdles,

This is now your feat.

Don't stop, gear up,

Life always demands more.

Burn out the flame in you,

Until you descry the shore.

माँ हर रोज़ होती है तुमसे तकरार,

कोई नहीं कर सकता तेरे जैसा प्यार||

माँ तेरे लिए होता नहीं है कोई रविवार,

तू ही पूरा करती है हमारा परिवार|

तेरे लिए होता नहीं कभी कोई त्यौहार,

हँस कर माफ़ कर देती हो मेरी गलतियां हज़ार||

माँ तेरे बिना जीवन हो जाता है अंधकार,

तू ही है मेरे जीवन का आधार|

तू लगाती है हमें हमारी गलतियों पर फटकार,

तू ही है मुसीबत और हमारे बीच की दीवार||

तेरे प्यार का एहसास दिलाता है समय का मार,

तेरे प्यार और आशीर्वाद के बिना जीवन है बेकार||

तेरे गुस्से और मार में भी है प्यार,

तू ही है इस दुनिया की सबसे अच्छी सलाहकार|

माँ तुम्हारे प्यार करने के अनेक हैं प्रकार,

माँ तुम अपने आप में ही हो एक कलाकार||

शब्दों में बयां नहीं किया जा सकता तेरा खूबसुरत अलंकार,

कोई नही बना सकता माँ तेरे जैसा स्वादिष्ट आहार||

इंसानो के रूप में हो तुम ईश्वर का अवतार,

बिना किसी सौदे के करती हो तुम प्यार|

तुम हर समस्या का करती हो उपचार,

तुम्हारे निस्वार्थ प्रेम के लिए होना चाहिए एक अमूल्य पुरस्कार||

सारी दुनिया से अच्छे हैं तुम्हारे विचार,

करलो मेरी एक विनती स्वीकार,

देदो मुझे एक छोटा सा उपहार,

देते रहना मुझे सारा जीवन अपना प्यार||

हर रोज़ की तरह शाम हो

किसी रोज़ दोस्तों के नाम हो

सर पर हो खुला असमां

नीला सा हो सारा जहां

बह रही हो मंद हवा

गा रहा हो सारी फिजा

बस एक शाम दोस्तों के नाम

छोड़ कर अपने सारे काम

जब दिल से निकले आवाज़

खुल कर बिखरे सारे राज

जूनून जब निगाहो मे हो

सुकून भी बाहों मे हो

बस एक शाम दोस्तों के नाम

छोड़ कर अपने सारे काम

शाम हो आराम हो

हाथो मे बस जाम हो

करने हो लाखों काम हो

पर जीनी तो वो शाम हो

करने को बस बात हो

बोलते बोलते रात हो

साथ हो,तो क्या बात हो

हर पल मे कुछ खास हो

दोस्ती कि एक नई शुरुआत हो

कल कि ना कोई फिक्र हो

वक़्त ना कोई जिक्र हो

बस एक शाम हो

दोस्तों के नाम हो

ಆಸೆಯನಿರಿಸಿಕೊ ಆಕಾಶದೆತ್ತರಕೆ,

ಮುಟ್ಟುವೆನೆಂಬ ಛಲವಿರಲಿ ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ,

ಮುಟ್ಟುವವರೆಗೂ ದಾಹವಿರಲಿ

ಹಸಿವಿಗೆ ಹಸಿವುಣಿಸುವಂತೆ,

ಮುಟ್ಟಿದಾಗೊಮ್ಮೆ ಸಿಂಹಾವಲೋಕನಿಸು

ನಿನ್ನ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಯ ಗುರುತುಗಳನ್ನ,

ಮರುಕಳಿಸದೆಯೇ ಕಂಬನಿ ಬೀಳುವ ಹೊತ್ತಿಗೆ

ಮುಗುಳು ನಗೆ ಬೀರುವೆ......!

I am at the shore of the sea I once stood at. Where I once saw heaven, where I once felt at peace. The sea is as majestic as it once was. Even my dreams would not dare to touch the mighty ocean. The season has shifted to that part of the year where it is slowly becoming unbearably cold but on the inside, I've been burning. Not a spark, not a fire, it's scorching heat that my soul now calls home, that has spread slowly like a chronic disease, like a virus I don't understand, to the ends of my fingertips.

I've been standing at the same place, a year later and the sundial stays the same. All this time, gone in a blur. But fundamentally I'm still the same, the same shore, the same sea, the same sky, the same me, the same sundial. Why then, did the season change? If I still have the same number of bones in my body, the same blood pumping in my veins, how did this scorching heat come to life?

Fundamentally, I am the same. At the core, however, I don't recognize the person I see. The silent cry for a routine, the lack of habits, the lack of.... happiness. The surface hides very well, the smile deceives almost perfectly. The eyes seem to cave in. Pretending to search for a torch that hasn't been lit. A mask that melts under the false heavens that I uncovered. My future, a streak of nothingness, I can't see the reflection of under the dark sky. The world is not beneath my feet, under the grains of sand that suddenly seem so omnipresent. It is, behind me, running fast to catch up to me. My feet, now, sinking more easily into the sand. I'm knee-deep in an environment I didn't create, surrounded by air I didn't agree to be suffocated with, with a voice I never thought would be muffled.

To turn back time, but where would you go back to? You never knew home, you've never known love. You've known only the world, whose thorns you failed to note. A look into the mirror that's slowly fading on the edges. No, please stay. How else would I know if I am what I feel? If I am what I believe? If I am real? The sundial runs faster, the betrayer, right on the shore you called paradise. As the edges disappear off the mirror, so do the stars above. The sea is shrinking, you realise there's no escape if this all turns to flames. The world is catching up to you, and the ocean, a mirage of your imagination. Your feet, knee-deep in a vast desert with your soul, the home of scorching heat. Oh, what a luxury a flame would be.

With every moment passing by, I’m an atypical person altogether. My inner intonation raises a question “Don’t you ever miss the old you?” Turning back to the time where the old me was too demonstrative and fragile to speak out for the iniquitous which ever happened to me. Now at present, while I go through flashbacks with bulging eyes, durable confidence and potent spirit, I have augmented myself a woman who aspires to be unbreakable and desires to sermonize “Only look back to see how far you have come.”

It’s never adequate how much ever you try to run away, it takes a lot of endeavors to scrape off your past and tend to act and surmise that it would never affect your imminent future. Heavy footsteps towards moving on over something or someone makes it way more grueling and lets you to constrain about your origin personality all in all. My mind compels to take back certain decisions which I’ve made in the past, but to be somewhere in life in future ahead, it’s very much valid to be precise regarding what you want and thrive to excel in the voyage of crafting your get-up-and-go hustle specter.

You just can’t be factual and courteous to every human you meet in this world, pleasing others should be replaced with amusing yourself first. Only then, this self-treating above than others, cycle shall be consummate and a new alleyway on “start afresh everyday” would start. It’s a time where you would be encountering undeniable questions like,

“Do people even worth loving these days?”,

“Do people really deserve infinite chances to recover?”,

“Do you really deserve to be settled for less?”

Answering all of these, might take a lifetime, letting go all of the insecurities might make you doubt yourself but what all it takes is knowing yourself well enough to not let outsider’s hegemony your vivacity. It’s not always leisurely to move forward without having the thought of looking back but patience comes with time, give yourself time, hold on for a moment and then “Only look back to see how far you have come”.

Have you ever been whiplashed and brought back to ground zero when you were soaring high on cloud nine? That’s life humbling you, trying to tell you that you were high on delectation and needed a grievous blow to rationality. It’s not often that this happens, but when it does, it hits hard. The feeling of gliding over seventh heaven comes with a price which you think is already paid for, but that’s a fallacy. You are lashed back down to be reminded of the earthly path. A series of shortcomings make you feel like your life is on the rocks and give you every reason to wonder why you can’t keep a stiff upper lip. In this face of adversity, our convictions are tested to an extent that people often recant. The dogma that we stand for and the grit by which we pursue it is ascertained. When you are splintered internally, you find yourself in a valley confronting two choices: to blame or to have faith. We know, as pragmatic people that we must choose the latter, but do we? We are reticent in making such a choice, so as to further indulge in the pleasure of insatiable iniquity, which perhaps is consolatory to some extent. So, it’s said, “Because people who push their own backs into the depths of hell see a different kind of hell from others. It may even be a certain kind of hope. The only way to know is to keep moving forward.”

Stagnation being the inevitable corollary of despondence doesn't mitigate anything. It is when we move forward knowing that it’s all water under the bridge after the storm has passed, that streamline of light is visible. Embracing the hurdle and learning why it was placed makes one a better version of themselves than they ever were. Nothing is permanent and change is ever constant.; “Death is the destination we all share”. When you realise that this meaningless hubris wanes at the sound of the death knell, you become fully aware of the infinite possibilities before you. So just keep moving forward.