Progression 3

Miles Kirshner

Kelan Koning

English 115

16 November 2020

That Which I Am

I am from the sweat of my ancestors

whose path created mine

I am from the belief that nothing is given

but rather earned

I am from the sons and daughters of the Revolution

for which my family fought

I am from a war that divided our Union

which my family defended

Those who fought to create and defend this country displayed strong guiding principles. Principles that have transcended generations which have given their successors the ability to grow from their lessons. Even after the creation of this nation, my family did not live in the lap of luxury. They came from Appalachia and the lands of Georgia and were later forced to Oklahoma; they had to lie about the Cherokee in their blood to buy property. Yet, here I am. The virtues of perseverance and accountability have persisted for generations; they were taught to me by my father and echoed by the mentors throughout my life. I have never been one to give up easily or to fold. I have always endured through struggle to cross the finish line. I do not look to others to forge my path for me; I take responsibility for myself and embrace the outcomes of the choices I make. These guiding principles, that have shaped who I am, would not be nearly as impactful on my life if not for my father, my high school baseball coach, and the opportunities I’ve had that have allowed me to put them into practice.

Ever since I was a child, my father never let me take the easy road. He never spoke down to me or treated me as a child. When I was younger, I always thought that I was strong enough to beat him in wrestling matches. I was wrong. But even though I would never win, there was a message in each match. I learned the importance in perseverance —never to tap out or throw in the towel — and I learned that nobody is going to hand you anything in life. While this was much before high school, being exposed to these life lessons proved invaluable. I may not have realized it then, but this was the beginning of the Miles who would see things through to the end and never give up.

My father continued to teach me about life and principles by encouraging me to participate in Cross Country in middle school. Through the physical and competitive activity, he knew I would enjoy, he taught me the great analogy that is Cross Country running. Cross Country taught me that there will always be people ahead of you and behind you in life. When running your race, similar to living your life, what is important is keeping your own pace. When you attempt to run somebody else’s race at their pace, you will sputter and lose. You never give in to not having enough energy or a cramp in your stomach. Instead, you continue putting one foot in front of the other until you cross the finish line. These were subtle lessons I would not see until I got older and saw the value in what I had accomplished. Despite not being the best runner, I managed to improve year after year even through failure and mediocrity.

The importance of family guidance and involvement is apparent. Without my father, I would most certainly not be the same person I am today. This isn’t just an anecdote, it has also been proven by members of the scientific community. Rick Nauert Ph.D., who writes many articles for PsychCental.com says, “It’s been said that parents are the ‘architect’ or the ‘conductor’ of a child’s development”(Nauert). I can say with certainty that this is truthful. My development into who I am today would have been impossible without the strong foundation of perseverance, that my father has taught me throughout my life. While strong parental figures are important, a good coach is worth its weight in gold. A coach can be anyone in your life who has helped make you a better person. I was lucky enough to get one of the best coaches I may ever have in my life. My high school baseball coach has been extremely influential in who I am to this day. He and my father share many similarities. They are both committed to making sure they are responsible for becoming better people. The biggest lesson that I learned from my coach is accountability. Accountability is something that many people understand but don’t practice. It rejects excuses, laziness, and indifference. One of the many ways he taught the team the importance of accountability was by making us understand and have the desire to be a self-starter and hold everyone to the same standards demanded by our baseball program. He showed us that if a teammate wasn’t accountable for himself, he certainly wasn’t accountable for others. We would watch practices and games go down the drain because players made inexcusable mistakes. My coach proved to us that if you were somebody who bought into accountability, you would seek to ensure the mistake never happens again through hard work and effort. He proved to us, through baseball, that an excuse never solves a problem, only action does that.

Our coach empowered leaders of all classes from freshman to seniors to help the team grow and improve. Not many stepped up to the challenge, however my senior year, I felt that it was my responsibility to be a guiding light and voice for my team. Along with my fellow captain, we both felt accountable and responsible for the team we were now tasked with leading back to the City Championship at Dodger Stadium. This was the culminating moment when the many years of life lessons from my father and my coach became apparent in my eyes and guided me. This was when I truly learned what it meant to lead and how to be an effective leader. I made mistakes along the way, but I also helped teammates as much as I could. I learned that as a leader, people will either love you or hate you; and sometimes, you can never do anything about it. Experiencing the challenges of being a leader demanded what my father taught me: to persevere and never give up. There were many moments where the struggle didn't seem worth it, but in the end, I pushed through and made the best of every situation I could. After all, a good coach will develop valuable personal relationships with players; which almost always results in growth for the player with positive moral and ethical behaviors (Gels). In the face of every conflict, I began to understand that I would not be who I am today, or how strong I am today without my high school baseball coach and the experiences he provided me.

A major challenge I encountered during my senior year as captain was trying to effectively promote and inspire a “winning” culture. Our coach struggled to do this on his own so I felt the need to be accountable for my team and do what I could to help. As I found out, there are always people who do not wish to play at the same standard and at the same level. This brought forth a challenge I had not encountered in my life to date. One of our senior players had begun to get lazy and started down the “lie, deny, and blame others path” as my coach would say. I saw this as an opportunity to help him fix his ways and get back to the success he had in previous years. Apparently, he did not have the same desire to get better and grow because instead of getting better; he started to get worse, fast. After countless practices of acting out, disrespecting authority, and being indifferent to our mission; he challenged me when I started leading our after school practice. I will admit, my temper got the best of me, but, it most certainly was not for no reason. He began to talk down our program after he had been acting terribly himself and I couldn’t help but point out the hypocrisy. When he continued to complain, I reminded him that this team is not mandatory and that being at the field was a choice, not a mandate. That is when he packed his bags and left. Now, this was not the end of the conflict, and it followed a repetitious path of forgiveness and reunion to his repeated mistakes and disrespect. However, I handled each situation with grace and the accountability and perseverance taught to me by my father and my coach. This experience, once again, proved to me how much they shaped me as a leader. They encouraged me and provided me with the skills to continue leading despite opposition and bumps in the road. My father, my coach, and all they taught me were the crucial guidance that allowed me to continue through adversity my senior year. I learned a lot about leadership and myself that year and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

The importance of strong figures and role models in your life is paramount to success in any realm. I believe that perseverance and accountability are inherent traits people can have, but it is up to the coach or a mentor to highlight these values and bring them out. I can attest that without the strong individuals in my life like my father and coach, I would not be the person I am today. This is why I extremely value and respect those in my life who have sought to better me as a person. And in turn, this has inspired me to do the same for others by committing to lending a hand for people to become stronger and more driven. For without guidance, it is easy to get lost.

Works Cited

Rick Nauert Ph.D. “Parental Guidance Key Concept in Child Development.” Psych

Central,17 June 2019,psychcentral.com/news/2018/12/06/parental-involvement-key-for-child-development/21499.html

Gels, James. “The Importance of a Strong Coach-Athlete Relationship.” NFHS, 2017,

www.nfhs.org/articles/the-importance-of-a-strong-coach-athlete-relationship/.