DECLARING CALIFORNIA “ONE F--KING MESS,”

83-YEAR-OLD GRANDMA THROWS BONNET IN RING

Mickie Winkler, former mayor of Menlo Park and author, Politics, Police and Other Earthling Antics declares “I am running for Governor because California is in a f--king emergency and no one is adequately alarmed.

We have three gigantic problems: drought, fire, and power outages and we can add Californians to the goddamned endangered-species list unless we solve these problems, like now.

About fire. We are celebrating our 10th annual fire season. Whoopee.

Yes, we carbon-neutral evangelists are polluting California and the whole U.S.of A. with smoke--with fire smoke--10 times worse than emissions from cars. I was in Montana at my great nephew's marriage, and choking on fire fumes courtesy of our state.

So let’s cut out our hypocritical bullshit and stop these massive fires before they start. Dousing them is one thing. Preventing them is the key. Do you know why we call California the Golden State? Because of our golden, fire-ready fields and forest underbrush. Gotta get rid of that golden stuff else we will suffocate.

How many cities, counties, state boards, local boards and commissions there are in California? No one knows, but upwards of 5000 is a good guess. Are we willing to wait for them all to sign off on dealing with these emergencies? And for all the inevitable lawsuits to play out? Not when I’m governor.

As for our drought. Unless you know a good substitute for water, we better act, like today. Our water-storage facilities are almost as old as I am, but I’m in better shape. Let’s fix the things so they can actually store the water in case we are ever lucky enough to get some rain. Yes. We have to conserve water; build recycling plants; create water markets; maybe do more desalination. Our land is collapsing from subsidence. And we are falling into one deep, dry hole.

Power outages. OK folks. We are limiting car sales to electric cars in our state starting soon. But how the hell are you going to make them move without power when we can’t keep the power on now? Nothing works without power--not schools, or hospitals or businesses or air conditioners or even our gas masks we use to avoid the California fire smoke. And we have been shutting our power plants down? Why? Oh. I know. Because we are such purists that we must avoid using gas-fired plants. I agree. We should build more wind turbines. Use more solar (even though it is compromised by our fire smoke). Maybe even add carbon-neutral nuclear plants to our electric-power arsenal. (There are over 50 of them being built world-wide, right now.) But do whatever it takes to keep the goddamned lights on full-time. Not negotiable. Right?

And speaking of right! While we are marching for racial justice, remember that many of our California schools suck. Our educational system was once ranked among the best. Now it is ranked as, well, rank. About 10% of school kids have opted out, picking Charter schools instead. Pathetic. Our schools are being run to benefit the teachers, not to benefit kids. Kids, all kids, and most emphatically underprivileged kids need a good education.

Why the hell aren’t the schools innovating? Using teaching methods that reflect the times? Making education fun and engaging and relevant? Why? Why? Why?

We need to create a meritocracy in our school systems. Get rid of tenure that protects unworthy teachers, and exports them to the worst schools. Reward teachers--handsomely--for their good work. One enthusiastic young friend of mine is going to Colorado because she can’t get a teaching job here. Do whatever it takes to make sure our disadvantaged kids get an education that allows them to get a good life. If we don’t, we can march forever, we can pepper our yards with Black Lives Matter signs, but without decent schooling, nothing, as in nothing, will change.

If I’m elected governor I will give our politicians a good verbal spanking. I will instruct them to stop thinking about their reelections and to start thinking about the common good. And if they don’t get with it, I’ll tell their kids what screwups they are.

Folks. It’s not hard to believe me when I swear that I don’t give a damn about a 2nd term. If you want action designed to fix the urgent problems we face, elect me as your governor.