SOLUTIONS
There are no universal solutions for marriage crises. However guidance may be given with three fundamental elements part of every solution. This is the triple A solution:
Awareness: Understanding marital relationship.
Activeness: Applying marital knowledge in everyday life.
Acknowledgement: Recognising the problem and having willingness to work towards solution.
The three foundational principles need to be part of the marital relationship prior to the occurrence of any sign of crisis. They are embodied in the concept of marriage covenant.
Marriage covenant is established on the basis of the commitment of the spouses to honour and fulfil their marital obligations. Marriage covenant relationship is defined through six fundamental characteristics related to the spouses’ commitment, attitude, spirituality, morality, behaviour and tenacity.
1. Commitment: Relationship which is based on mutual companionship. Mutual companionship is realised in six aspects of the relationship, namely, moral, spiritual, emotional, bodily, intellectual and social. Each one of these aspects provides for the expression of mutual love and commitment between the spouses.
2. Attitude: Relationship which is nourished through four aspects of the way spouses approach each other, namely, honesty, trust, openness and acceptance. These aspects of spouses’ attitude towards each other should be part of their daily relationship.
3. Spirituality: Relationship which is based on faith in Christ. The faith embodies Christ’s behaviour towards one neighbour as the approach towards one spouse, family, church community and the society as a hole.
4. Morality: Relationship which exists within the framework of love, justice, freedom and order. All these four elements constitute an environment for marital relationship which elevates both spouses to the position of experiencing a holistic life of happiness and joy.
5. Behaviour: Relationship which functions within proper behavioural boundaries. The boundaries are mutually agreed by the spouses and protect the relationship from external and internal crises.
6. Tenacity: Relationship which endures during crises. No marriage is spared from tensions and crises. The spouses’ tenacity is built by their understanding of the lifelong nature of marriage and their willingness to work towards solution using all their resources.
