The Liberal Jewish community in Leicester, as indeed all Liberal Jewish communities, delights in celebrating the love of two persons, regardless of gender. Marriage has always been highly valued in Jewish tradition. Traditionally between two persons of the opposite gender and associated in Judaism with procreation, it is now more often entered into as part of a public, legal and – in our case – spiritual cementing of a lifelong loving partnership.

Solemnising a marriage under a chuppah is a central rabbinical task. The chuppah wedding is a joy and it is an honour to witness – and bless – a partnership that is often in its infancy. For many, the chuppah represents one of the first steps they take as a couple on their Jewish life cycle journey, and we look forward to accompanying them during whatever else life brings their way.

The law of England and Wales permits marriage between two persons of either gender but stipulates that, when a couple wishes to be married under Jewish auspices, both partners must be Jewish. In addition Liberal Judaism requires both to be members of the Liberal synagogue under the auspices of which the ceremony will be carried out.

Mixed faith blessings

Liberal Judaism recognises that love often knows no religious boundary, and Jews do not always fall in love with other Jews. Rather than see this as a negative, we see it as an opportunity. We hope that instead of the Jewish partner ‘marrying out’, the non-Jewish partner will be encouraged to ‘marry in,’ whether figuratively or literally.

As with other Liberal communities we do this by welcoming non-Jewish partners and spouses into our congregation as valued friends and sometimes as converts under our auspices. The law of England and Wales does not authorise rabbis to solemnise mixed faith marriages (whether mixed-sex or same-sex).

However Rabbi Mark Solomon, like many other Liberal rabbis, is happy to perform blessings on mixed faith marriages, provided that the non-Jewish partner is committed to building a Jewish home and to raising any shared children as Jews.

Mixed faith blessings do not take place under a chuppah, and are different in structure and content to the Jewish marriage ceremony.

To find out more about marriages or mixed faith blessings please make your initial contact with our chair: chair@lpjc.org.uk

BEFORE THE FUNERAL

Instructions in a WiII

It always helps the family if they know what kind of funeral arrangements are to be made, and it makes sense to include such instructions in your will.

Organising a Funeral

The funeral is organised by funeral directors, appointed and paid for by the family. The funeral directors we normally use are: Midlands Co-op Funeral Services, 511 Welford Road, Leicester (Tel: 0116 270 3111)

Representatives from the synagogue can assist the family in organising the funeral and can arrange for a Rabbi or lay reader to lead the service. If a particular Rabbi has been requested, every effort will be made to meet this request. If not, the synagogue will appoint a Rabbi or experienced lay reader.

Burial or Cremation

Liberal Judaism accepts both burials and cremations. If the deceased has set out clear instructions then these will be honoured.

Cemetery

The synagogue has a reserved section in Loughborough Cemetery for interments. This includes a section for ashes. We can also conduct funerals in other cemeteries and crematoriums in the area.

Partners

A grave in any burial ground is consecrated as Jewish by the funeral service held there. It is possible to be buried alongside a partner or close family member. Non-Jewish partners who are formal "friends" of the congregation can be buried at the Loughborough cemetery. This is regardless of who dies first.

Timing

It is traditional in Judaism for funerals to take place immediately after death. There is no requirement for this and it has become customary for there to be a gap of a few days. This may make it much easier for the arrangements to be made, and for attendance by mourners who live some distance away. Funerals will not take place on Shabbat.

Costs

The cost of the grave, funeral directors' fees, charges made by the cemetery or crematorium and a later memorial stone are the responsibilities of the deceased's estate. All our paid-up members will receive the full services of a Rabbi without additional charge. This will include: leading the funeral service, delivering a eulogy, home visits and prayers on the same evening at home by members of the congregation if required. For non-members the costs are the equivalent of 2 years' membership fees in the appropriate category.

The deceased's estate will be responsible for all expenses, including Rabbi's fees, associated with a stone setting.

AT THE FUNERAL

There is a standard, fairly short funeral service provided by Liberal Judaism. It is not traditional to have music or flowers at Jewish funerals, but again that is not fixed and you should feel free to ask for whatever is going to make the funeral feel right for you and the other mourners. The Rabbi (or other persons leading the service) will be happy to help you decide the form of service.

It is possible to hire the synagogue for the serving of

refreshments after the service.

AFTER THE FUNERAL

Prayers/Shiva

If requested, a service can be held at the home of the bereaved or the synagogue on the evening of the day of the funeral. It is unusual for members of our community to hold a formal shiva for seven days, but that can be arranged if requested.

Stone Setting or Memorial

Some ten months later when the ground has settled, a memorial stone is erected and a service of consecration held. The Rabbi can assist with traditional Hebrew wording to add to the English inscription.

Plaque on the Tree of Life.

It is possible to have a plaque inscribed on the synagogue "Tree of Life" in memory of a loved one. Other significant life events can also be marked in this way. A short ceremony can be included in regular Shabbat prayers to mark the setting of the plaque.

Remembrance Prayers

If family members wish, these can be read in the Synagogue on the Shabbat before each annual anniversary (yahrzeit) and also during Yom Kippur (yizkor). It is up to members whether they would prefer to link these prayers to the Jewish or secular calendar date.

Please contact the secretary to add a name to the yahrzeit and yizkor lists secretary@lpjc.org.uk  

Contact Details

To discuss in confidence any aspect of this guide please contact Leon Charikar, our head of rites and practices at:     r-and-p@lpjc.org.uk

To discuss leaving a legacy to Leicester Progressive Jewish Congregation or Liberal Judaism, please contact our treasurer: treasurer@lpjc.org.uk