Dear Lodovica, we are all here to talk about your Association 'IO NON CI STO' fighting violence against women. When did it all start?
'IO NON CI STO' was born in 2012. I have been a victim of such a terrible violence and it pushed me to get in touch with all the women that passed through this awful experience. I wanted to be there for them, even to listen to their stories or to comfort them, and I tried to give them advice that could help these women to move out of that horrible period.
How did it go?
Well. Fortunately and unfortunately. Unfortunately because the day I launched the Association on tv I was contacted on behalf of the Association by so many women. I came home and I found hundreds of mails. Fortunately because I had the chance to help most of them moving on to a new life far away from their aggressors.
Lots of women that suffer this kind of abuse don’t report, what could be the reason of this behaviour?
The worst reason is that nobody believes their stories. And so they become victims twice: victims of their perpetrators, victims of society who express suspicion and victims of public opinion that make them feel inappropriate, as if they were abused because of their own fault. It is terrible. I heard about people saying that there is always a lack of evidence and so the victims cannot be a credible witness. What should a woman do to be trusted? Should she go out with a camera in her bra? I really can’t stand all the women ridiculed or offended who reported an abuse. I even heard about someone that posted on social networks cartoons on this drama, making fun of violence. There are also lots of people thinking that maybe it’s their fault, they just had it coming or they were just accessories of their own abuse, they were cowards to face their aggressors, or even worse, they just want to boost rating or in reverse reporting anonymously doesn’t make them believable. I ask myself: what should an abused woman do? Italy doesn’t support victims of violence and it defends their aggressors at the same time. This is unacceptable.
What would you say to those who say these women should have denounced?
They just don’t know what they are talking about. In this Country women who denunce a disturbance to Police are simply ignored. It is impossible to be trusted if you don’t support your complaint with video or other evidences. This is the truth. It happened to me and it still happens to 90% of women that denunce. These are the statistics. Nine women out of ten were murdered after reporting they were abused or raped without any response from the competent authorities. Moreover, nobody cares about the human side of a woman torn by pain. They can’t talk with anyone else about this drama, they maybe don’t have economic means to pay a lawyer or simply they don’t want to relive this horrible experience. The hope is to forget it as soon as possible and most of them don’t want to be judged by public opinion.
You look very upset with Italy for the way it ignores sexual victims’ pain, don’t you?
I am tremendously upset for it. I am disgusted, angry, almost incredulous of malice and selfishness that persist in our Country. Who does not support these women, and who doesn’t admire their courage, fully represents the ignorance, the superficiality, the total lack of respect and compassion towards the suffering of others.
Do you believe in Italy things will change?
I hope so, otherwise we all should pack our bags and leave this Country as quickly as possible. Italy will never be democratic and free as long as this misogynistic and archaic mentality will be fixed in our attitude.