The BASICS

Rules of Engagement

The most important rules about this seminar is that everyone feels safe being part of it. This means protecting the privacy of the participants, being hospitable and kind, being present, and being open to new ideas.

Be Trustworthy

• What is discussed in class stays in class. The time we spend together discussing the important questions about life and purpose will inevitably lead to our own stories, both the successes and the tragedies. We want to create a safe place so that people can be open and vulnerable to share in a non-judgmental space. This means that we start with the expectation of trust and that we won't speak about what we heard inside class to people who are not part of it.

• The only exceptions to this rule are if someone gives an indication that they might hurt themselves or someone else, if someone threatens another person, or if someone violates the university's Code of Student Responsibility.

Be Kind

• The seminar should be a place that you enjoy coming to. After helping each other feel safe, we should be kind and decent to each other. We don't necessarily know what someone is going through, whether they got into a fight with a significant other or received a bad grade, so we should practice being gentle with how we treat each other. Be warm and cordial, listen respectfully, and be sensitive to how other people are feeling.

Be Present

• An important aspect of this seminar is presence. When you are in class, the expectation is that you are in the class. This means that you attend every class, that cell phones are turned off or put away, that you have done the reading and are prepared to discuss, that you are willing to share and be vulnerable, and that you arrive to class on time.

Be Open

• Today, everyone has an opinion. Politics and online discourse have devolved into screaming matches where listening is for losers and the loudest are crowned as victors. This is not that place. If we want this to be a safe environment, then we have to be ready to listen and be open to other perspectives, experiences, and ideas.

• This is a place where you will have the opportunity to be intellectually challenged, to ask questions of yourself and others, and to learn from the experiences of your classmates. As we search for meaning, we have to set aside our opinions of what we think is "right," and instead approach other people and ideas with empathy.

• When you hear an idea that you disagree with or have never heard before, think about it before you speak and react. Let it marinate. Turn it over in your mind. Consider the perspective of the person who said it. Make sure you understand it. If you don't then ask for clarification without judgment.

• When you want to discuss your experience or respond to someone else, resist the temptation to generalize. Use "I" statements. Be responsible for what you say and consider the your intent and its impact on others. Make sure you are responding to ideas and not casting judgment on the person. I've found the following TED talk to have some pretty useful advice in having conversations.