Stranger in Me

Pictures can be so deceiving in all honesty. The way you can take your picture, the angle, filter, lighting, everything to get the perfect picture to post. Just for your followers to like, comment and share what really isn't you but a picture you want the world to see you as. People nowadays don’t even post pictures for themselves anymore, people pay money for clothes and experiences just to post them for the world to see. Always caring about societies view on them. Over the internet people can be whatever they want to be through their pictures, and you would never know. Me knowing this because my generation is literally just like this and I have to stop feeding into it. I chose the first selfie of myself because I feel it portrays what I want the world to know about me. I'm a hardworking, young woman going to school and working day to day. You're probably thinking so what? There is plenty of kids working and going to work just like you. Yes, you are correct but, in my situation, surrounded by the people I've always surrounded myself with, I'm the only one working twice as hard as them just to even up with their lives. I've never had anything just handed to me, but I was still very fortunate. Being told no did not mean never, it just meant now is not a good time, but you'll get it soon. I've always been so patient with everyone and everything that I ever wanted. Big believer on if it's meant for you, it will be no matter what. Susan Sontag’s ‘Photography’ in Plato’s Cave, she said “The one who wears a different expression holds a camera to his eye;…having a camera has transformed one person into something active, a voyeur: only he has mastered the situation”(pg.10). From that I feel like we do put on a show for whom ever is seeing the picture. They don’t know how tired I am. How many hours I’ve worked and how it still isn’t enough, how I always feel like I could do better. That no matter how much sleep I get, I’m always tired. But you wouldn’t know that, all you will ever know is what I choose to show you. I've never been jealous or envious of another because that's always came off very ugly to me. I don't even like seeing people dwell on another person just be happy for people always, your time will come. I chose the second picture to portray how at the end of the day I’ve always been a happy soul. A happy background of flowers filled with colors which is my absolute favorite. I always try to keep everyone around me in high spirits, always reminding people there is light at the end of the tunnel. But when I’m down who keeps my head up? Me. but if not me then who? You can’t place your happiness in anyone else’s hands, they will drop it every single time. From experience I know to not have high expectations because that will lead to disappointments, so always just go with the flow of life. My friends and family repeatedly let me know how I’m the sunshine in any group. How my smile enters a room before my foot does, it makes me feel good to know people think so highly of me when I’m just being myself. But there are days where I'll just be sad and that happens, its normal. Sure, some days are off and I’m not always miss smiley, but I will always try to make others day better than mine. Growing up I was a very selfish child and I will admit I still kind of am, but now I know I must make sure I’m okay before trying to fix other people or their problems. Which I don’t think there’s anything wrong with. The question of ‘in what situations or with whom might I be different’ makes me think... around certain groups I am different. As much as everyone doesn’t want to admit, we all are or should be. You aren’t going to act the same way you act around your friends towards your boss at work? No. Different friend groups bring out different parts of me. In fact, different people bring out different parts of me and that’s completely fine. I might be more comfortable around one person, more shy or self-conscious around the next person. You should want to surround yourself with different energies to help and teach you different things in life. When asked ‘who are you?’ I don’t ever know the right answer for that because I don’t know who I am. I’m a confused 20-year-old girl. I know what I don’t want in life but I’m not quite sure what I want yet. I try to be kind to everyone but there may be people out here that think different for the right reasons... Sontag says “a photograph is both a pseudo-presence and a token of absence. Like a wood fire in a room, photographs-especially those of people, of distance landscapes and faraway cities, of the vanished past- are incitements to reverie” (Photography in Plato’s Cave pg 16). When Susan Sontag wrote this, I understood what she meant. Photographs mean so much to people that have something worth remembering. Photographs are the best things to ever exist for memories. Just like smells and certain sounds, pictures let you hold on to a memory you don’t want to forget. In my case I took my selfie on a beautiful beach day downtown. The day was perfect, and I was with my friends all day, we walked past this gorgeous flower wall and I just had to take the picture of myself. I won’t forget that when I look at that picture months or even years from now. How would I describe my ideal self? I would say I’m a realist. I'll tell you the whole truth before I ever lie to you, I feel like lying gets you nowhere and weighs you down for no reason. I’m also very outgoing which everyone seems to love about me, I speak to everyone and let people be who they really are without judging. I do come off aggressive sometimes, but I guess that’s because not everyone’s used to someone being so forward like I am. As I grow up, I learn more about myself, I'm starting to feel for people more than ever before, thinking about the future a lot more, building my character into the person I want to become. Looking back at photographs of the past I remember things that I almost forgot all about. Later generations down the road will look back at our pictures and get to see how we were living now and so on. Just like we look at our grandparent’s pictures and they explain to us how it was back then. Photographs tell stories beyond words; they give visuals that leave you in awe.

Works cited

Sontag, Susan. “In Plato’s Cave.” On Photography, Dell Publishing, 1977, pgs. 10 and 16.