Poetry

I have spent years

with my neck craned back

watching birds fly from peaks

and wondering which cruel twist of fate

had deprived me of wings

so I would never see the world

sprawling out beneath my feet

It took years

before I looked down

and realized my limbs

could scale mountains

so often, we confuse

apologies and gratitude

the word 'sorry' escaping our lips when we mean to say 'thank you'

as if our existence is an inconvenience

as if we don't deserve the space we fill

so that even in the safety of the ones we love

we say "sorry for worrying you"

instead of "thank you for being here"

and "sorry for wasting your time"

instead of "thank you for making the time"

and in this cycle of telling ourselves

that we are inferior to those around us

sometimes we stop and wonder

why we feel so small 

"Do you love yourself?"

"I don't even know myself."

my dear, who told you

that one must come before the other?

for all its wonder and mystery

do you not love that star-filled canopy overhead?

the secrets of this universe dance within your very molecules

in this lifetime, darling, knowing is temporary

you may spend a lifetime trying

and never come to know your self

but love?

it is forever

just like you

I love the ones

who talk too much

words tumbling from their lips

one after another

streams of sentences

forming rivers so deep

I can submerge myself in them

and sometimes

not knowing what they've done

they say something magnificent

something magical

and as the river flows onward

I find myself frozen 

in a timeless, dreamlike enchantment

they are elegance

in the ordinary

do not shy away

from the love

bestowed upon you

it is a blessing, a gift

that even the giver received 

if not from the people around them

then from the universe itself

in extending it to you

they lost nothing

it is one of the only things

that grows, unfurls, blooms

when given selflessly

take it

it belongs to you

and every piece of you

belongs to it

"I want to be immortal,"

she whispers as her delicate fingers trail over

the velvety canvas of the night sky

"I want to leave my mark."

I blink at her, lost in her eyes

Does she know? Can she feel it?

"Leave your mark?"

I want to ask

"You are already immortal.

You always were. You always will be.

The part of you that makes you

who you are

is only bound to that beautiful vessel

in this very moment

Tomorrow, in the scheme of the galaxies

you will be free to conquer those stars

which you so longingly reach for."

Do not worry about leaving your mark

My love, you are the mark

Just make the most of this lifetime

not to become immortal

but because you already are

the biggest lie

that romantics tell

is that the heart is our lover

and the brain is our shield 

we paint a picture of war

our bodies ripped apart

between pain or loss

two fates

equally unpleasant

two lives

equally empty

dear heart, dear brain

you are simply organs

which keep this vessel alive

you see, falling in love

is magic in its greatest splendour 

when I fall in love

it is every molecule in my body

my existence as a whole

that begins to sing in harmony with yours

our minds and souls weaving

into one living, breathing entity

utterly at peace with the energy around us

when I fall in love

it is every part of me

that becomes one

with every part of you

I have witnessed people

devote themselves to that which

breaks them, over and over

oh, how we'd bloom

if we gave ourselves so freely, so boldly

to love

uptight.

sensitive.

triggered.

if these are the labels 

I must wear

to ensure that future women 

suffer a little less than we did

I will strip off my clothes

and hand you the hot iron

brand me

with every name

you can think of

this pain is nothing

compared to theirs

I wear every scar

with pride

so that one day

she never has to

today, I watched him

fall in love for the second time

with a friend he had abandoned

gathering dust in plain sight

he had his eyes half closed

as he plucked the strings and listened

to the sounds that had helped me

fall in love with him

I smile every time 

you tap on my window

pitter patter of little fingers

urging me to come greet you

oh, how I've missed you

my feet race out to the sidewalk

in the middle of the night

I smile as I throw my head back and watch 

as thousands of fragments of you

race down the velvet sky

to reach me

only you can drench my skin

and quench my soul

the first time you smiled

it was like pulling back the curtains

on a lazy Sunday morning

and watching as 

sunlight

and warmth

flooded into my room

flooded into my soul