Couple Counselling

Opening thought

In relationships, Sinatra’s ‘I did it my way’ rarely works as relationships are co-created with two needs, two wants, two desires, two histories and there are two perspectives.  

Couples tend to come as they say they are 'finding it hard to communicate' yet this is such a surface statement as, in reality, it is because each persons learnt behaviour is getting in the way.

Why you find yourself here will generally fall into 1 of 3 categories: -

1. Wanting change and growth for a more contented and fulfilling relationship

2. Questioning 'should we stay or should we go?'

3. You have made a decision to separate and want to leave your relationship in the healthiest way possible.

(Please note: - I do not work with option 3 as I am not trained in mediation).

What I offer

Working towards a healthy secure relationship where there is reciprocation, equality, respect, fairness, economic responsibility, realness, trust and honesty. 

·       Describing relational patterns, without judgement

·       Holding each person accountable for their own actions

·       Providing new communication and listening skills

·       Connecting past with present

·       Identifying self-protective responses

·       Supporting hopes and dreams

·       Promoting relating in an adult-to-adult way (rather than parent / child or as siblings). 

·       Building a relationship where there is friendship, intimacy and sexual connection (if later is required).

·       Slowing down conversations to identify learning opportunities

·       Managing expectations (change is a process)

·       Promoting independence and interdependence

·       Encouraging self-regulation and co-regulation

·       Transparency, cheerleading and nurturing growth.

Please Note:  I do not work when there is active infidelity.

If this sounds like the relationship counselling you want, please do contact me