This meant that her crushes were all boys but she knew she was not straight as she prefers girls to be with her.
I have only recently started to identify as Queer in my thirties. I was pleasantly surprised at this beautiful Black child's ability, despite all the pressures of heteronormativity, to create an identity for her self.
She is self-assured because her generation has had the advantage of better Queer representation in media.
Two great examples are the Netflix series "Sex Education" (and "Never Have I Ever"), both of which have been a Netflix hit. They provide theatre, digital storytelling and public art that not only bring forth discussion of Queer identities, sexuality, and encourage sex.
In both these shows, sexual desire are celebrated and not viewed as shameful.
The best thing about both shows is their normalization of sex between all sexualities and genders.
Devi Vishwakumar, Devi's best friend, comes out as gay and dates Addison. Addison is a nonbinary character played in season one by Terry Hu, a nonbinary actor.
Devi's friend Aneesa Qureshi doesn't label her sexuality. We see her with Ben and Fabiola in season 3.
"Sex Education", features a few Queer couples, sexual relationships, and main characters Ola Nyman (main character) and Eric Effiong (main character). The three seasons feature a number of Queer couples.
While the focus of "Sex Education” is on teens, the show also includes the characters' parents. They are involved in their intimate and romantic relationships and have many ups and downs.
"Sex Education” highlights conversations between Otis Milburn's mother Jean, a sex therapist and openly sexually active woman.
Otis, however, provided sex therapy through a "clinic" on the show.
While Otis might not feel comfortable sharing his self-pleasure with his mother, his mom's push for open communication helped him have a positive outlook about sex and relationships.
This show examines the fear-mongering associated with abstinence sex education programs. It serves as an example of why schools around the globe continue to debate sex education.
A report from the United Nations examines the mental and physical consequences of a lack fact-based education in sex.
Despite educators and healthcare professionals emphasizing the importance of these lessons for youth, the CDC estimates less then 50 percentTrusted Source high schools and less that 20 percent of middle schools teaching all of the recommended sex education topics.
Despite how sexuality and gender is shown more prominently on the media, there are still people (like teens with unaccepting families) who don't feel comfortable being themselves.
It is important to remember, despite the brightening of the screen, not all people get to shine in real life.
Cal Bowman is a Black nonbinary character who has struggled with the school's new leadership.
These students' troubles show how adults don't always support them when it comes gender and sexuality.
Hope, the new head teacher, is anti-expressionist and hostile to her sexually curious students. Hope fails to understand Cal's desire to not have clothes too tight around their bodies and instead chides them about not fitting in.
Eric, a Queer character with Nigerian descent, was portrayed on the show.
Eric is seen exploring makeup in secret at his home to hide his father's negative opinions. However, he has been openly gay for many years with his family.
Although makeup artistry isn't just for women, it is something that can be enjoyed by all genders.
Eric was a victim of hate crime during the first season. He was dressed in feminine clothes for a costume event and went out to town.
He could have been beaten by strangers to prove that he was not safe to be himself. But, as the show continues, Eric becomes more confident using highlighter and eyeshadow every day.
Cal's character links with Jackson Marchetti. This is a male character who identifies himself as straight.
Jackson's first encounter with a nonbinary man brought up questions about his sexuality. Cal was vulnerable when Cal asked him, "If this were going to get more serious, then you might be in a Queer relationships." Is that OK with you ?"
This question is common for many of us as we try to figure ourselves out. It serves as another example of representation viewers can grasp onto.
Adam Groff was the son of the former head teacher and made a name as a bully. Adam is adamantly hostile towards Eric and creates the impression that he is homophobic.
Later, we learn that Adam has been struggling with his home life and is also harboring secret sexual thoughts. He's taken those feelings out on Eric who he's really attracted to.
Statistics show a connection between Adverse Childhood Experiece scores (ACE) and tendencies toward abusive behavior later in life.
Some may romanticize Eric's relationship as they root for Eric's happiness. Some may question Eric’s decision to be close to Adam.
Their relationship is over because Adam has difficulty being open with Eric.
This storyline and relationship makes us uncomfortable about the boundaries of abuse and allows us to empathize.
Lily Iglehart, an alien-loving and eccentric character, seems to be keenly interested in sex since her appearance on "Sex Education."
We see her as being pushy and eager to get to know Otis. But, we learn later that she isn't interested in boys, but feels like she is "behind" when it comes to her sexual experience.
Devi is a character from "Never Have I Ever". He navigates similar pressures. The first few episodes show a 10th-grader plotting to find a boyfriend and have sexual relations.
Devi is visibly nervous as she prepares to engage with Paxton. She lies to her friends about her virginity.
In 2014 , a study looked at how teens can put pressure on themselves by making assumptions about their peers' feelings.
In "Sex Education", Lily and Ola become closer and, despite some confusion around Lily's sexuality, they discover their mutual attraction.
Vaginismus is a condition that causes involuntary contractions in the vaginal muscles. This can make penetration painful or unpleasant.
Lily shared her diagnosis of vaginismus and Ola. This led them to explore new ways to be intimately with each other.
In "Never Have I Ever", Devi and Paxton become more comfortable with each other's physical touch later in the film. There's still a touching scene in which Devi's body begins to tense, prompting Paxton to take off his shirt.
Her decision was respected. Paxton also paid enough attention to her partner to notice her nonverbal cues and made sure she understood that he would wait for her to be ready.
This two-part depiction of teens having an open discussion about their boundaries and their desire to have sex with one another encourages communication between consenting partners about what sexuality can be.
Sex is based on mutual respect and consideration for each partner's needs and desires, rather than what's considered "normal" or necessary.
Is this a real representation?
I am a Brown woman who didn't see any black girls on television in her teens. I'm thankful that my niece has better media representation.
This is especially true of shows such as "Never Have I Ever", which depicts Brown Hindu families having to navigate difficult discussions about how to have healthy romantic relationships. Or "Sex Education," which encourages open Queerness, despite the opinions of leaders.
Queer and multicultural characters are shown having sex with each other without judging it as inappropriate and engaging in open discussions about their sexual health.
"Sex Education" & "Never Have I Ever" remind viewers that we can be full, authentic individuals as well as works in progress while maintaining healthy sexual desire.
These shows explore many more aspects of sexuality and health, including the possibility of sexual assault and disability.
I'm looking forward to the tougher questions and hoping that they push marginalized characters closer to the center of these conversations as the shows get ready for more seasons.
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