Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

PLOT BREAKDOWN

PROLOGUE (Death of the King)

The film opens on Shuri in her lab. The scene is intense and panick-y because she’s in the midst of trying to save her brother T’Challa’s life as he falls to an unknown illness.

An unknown illness? What illness is out there that Wakanda doesn't have the cure for?

Shuri is desperately trying to artificially recreate the heart-shaped herb but her AI (basically Wakandan Jarvis) declares that it has a low percentage of working.

I’m going to talk about the idea of 3D printing Wakanda’s sacred plant later. For now, I’m gonna give the movie credit where it’s due.

I really like this scene. Shuri is a scientist. She’s used to being the one who fixes things. Technology is what she does best, and now it’s failing her when she needs it most. The first words in the film are Shuri praying to Bast to save her brother’s life. To answer her prayers just this one time, and she’ll never question her existence again. The writing is pretty much on the wall when one of her lab people tells her she should be with her brother in his final moments. She ignores him, determined to finish her work. It’s the only hope she has. The scene communicates very effectively that Shuri is at her wit’s end. She's forced to settle for a 29% chance of success and print the flower. There's just no time.

But all her efforts are in vain as before she can even try, she meets her distraught mother at the door. Shuri asks Ramonda for the latest on her brother’s condition. Ramonda says nothing, and her silence confirms the worst.

Her brother, King T’Challa, is gone.

We cut to a private ceremony before the funeral procession. A council of elders recites a prayer for T’Challa’s peaceful rest among the ancestors. Ramonda, Shuri, Okoye, the rest of the Dora Milaje, and M’Baku tearfully stand in mourning of their king. The rest of the procession happens as his casket is carried away, and Shuri finally breaks down, crying in sheer heartbreak.

What follows is the Marvel Studios logo, only all the characters and clips are replaced with Chadwick Boseman as T’Challa. It is completely silent, in respect to the man and his incredible performance in the role. I like everything about this prologue. Not only is it tasteful and respectful to Chadwick, but it’s treated with the appropriate emotional weight as an event happening in-universe. It’s pretty much pitch-perfect to my eye.

Then the rest of the film happens.

ACT I (The Vibranium Detector and Talokan)

We jump to a year later. Ramonda is at a UN meeting with representatives from the rest of the world. There’s a bit of a problem as everyone is wondering where the hell the vibranium and resources they promised to share with the world are. Ramonda basically says “I’ve been mourning for the past year. Leave me alone.” The scene is intercut with clips of the Dora Milaje beating the shit out of French operatives trying to steal some vibranium from one of their outposts. The mercenaries(?) open fire on the spear ladies and Okoye deflects every single bullet with her spear, Deadpool-style. I am not kidding. I think this movie forgets that Okoye and the rest of the Dora Milaje are non-superpowered humans because Wakanda reserves the purple lean that enhances speed/strength/agility/health/etc for exactly one person. Deadpool is a superpowered person and he even he missed some bullets! I don’t care if your spears are made of vibranium, you are not that fast. 

Okoye catches one of her teammates using a pair of taser knives and tells her to quit that shit immediately because spears are “elegant, precise, and deadly.”

Okay.

It turns out the whole sequence is actually a flashback; The Dora Milaje storm into the room with the mercenaries and bring them to their knees in front of everyone. Apparently they're allowed to do this with no objection from security or the rest of the UN. Ramonda just says, “We’re not giving you our shit because we don't like/trust you," and makes a not-so-thinly veiled threat to kill anyone who comes anywhere near their vibranium.

Whoo boy there’s a lot of problems with this scene, and admittedly a lot of them are also the fault of the first Black Panther, but this movie doubles down on them.

Ramonda’s main “argument” for why she’s going back on her son’s word to share vibranium with the world is essentially that they can’t be trusted with it. Wakanda has incredible technology as well as advances in medical science, transportation, etc. The rest of the world is still getting back on its feet after the Snap. Wakanda can be an incredible force for good in the world, yet the movie is expecting me to sympathize with them in their decision to hoard their resources because the queen is currently in mourning. It’s almost like she blames them for what happened to T’Challa.

Speaking of which, isn’t it disrespectful to him to go back on the promise he made while he was king? And how did he not fulfill his promise while he was king? We know he was king for a short time before he was snapped, but I would assume the queen would have taken care of his business while he was gone. Surely he would've had enough time to do stuff after he got un-snapped and before he died for real, right? I guess T'Challa didn’t accomplish much as a king after all. The first leader of Wakanda who decides he's going to not be a dickhead and actually help out the world, and he fucking dies.

Now, if Wakanda wants to be the sole custodian of vibranium, that’s their prerogative. In fact, they’re more than welcome to enforce tariffs and control how much vibranium gets exported to other countries, who gets what amount, etc. Instead, they’re threatening anyone who suggests that maybe they keep a trade agreement they made, with force. I’d sympathize with any country who wants to declare war on Wakanda at this point cause their foreign policy is beyond fucked. Wakanda regularly ignores the struggles happening beyond their borders, including those of the neighboring countries, and their foreign relations amount to sending out spies to gather information.

Wakanda is shady as fuck. You’re sitting on all these advantages that could benefit humanity in a time they need it more than ever, and for what? Because you’re afraid of what they might do with it? With the little amount of vibranium that America has, they’ve created the shield of Captain America and Vision, two things I’m sure even Wakanda would consider to be a net positive on the world. Meanwhile, because Wakanda elects their leader by fucking trial by combat, a lunatic came very close to declaring war on the rest of the world, while leveraging vibranium. 

But sure, it's everyone else that can't be trusted with it.

And let’s be honest, as if America needs vibranium to cause serious problems. If they wanted to cause carnage, they already have the means to do that. You remember a little robot called Ultron who almost caused the end of humanity? (Yes, he got a vibranium upgrade but he was plenty dangerous before that). America has access to insane levels of technology already due to Stark Industries. Not to mention superheroes for fuck’s sake. What’s Wakanda going to do if they send Captain Marvel? Or they tell Scarlet Witch (who is not dead) they’ll drop all her charges if she goes and fetches some vibranium for them (or hell, just tell her Wakanda is keeping her children)? Not a chance Wakanda is winning that war.

If you don’t want other people getting their hands on vibranium, you could at least share your medical knowledge. I wouldn’t be surprised if Wakanda was sitting on the fucking cure for cancer or COVID-19. And anyway, why the hell do you have vibranium stored in your outreach centers in the first place? Wouldn’t you want to keep that under lock and key at home?

According to Falcon and the Winter Soldier, holding on to resources and not distributing them to everyone as quickly as possible is a horrible thing you should never do. But I guess when Wakanda does it it’s okay. Just like it's okay when the Dora Milaje comes to foreign countries and enforce their own jurisdiction...how did it go again? "Wherever they find themselves to be?" But yeah, intervetionism is totally an evil American thing.

Five minutes in and after a really strong opening this movie is already making my brain hurt.

Out in the Atlantic Ocean, a CIA mining ship is looking for vibranium using a vibranium detector made by some scientist…a vibranium dete—what???

You know what, I’m gonna come back to that.

Anyway, they find some vibranium in the ocean! But before they can collect their massive W of a find, their people underwater suddenly lose communication.

They’re gone and the detector is destroyed. The scene is played like a horror film, really.

A haunting song begins to play and everyone who hears it starts committing mass suicide in a trance. The people in the cabin put on earbuds and go to investigate what the fuck is going on and out comes from the water…

Hang on...

Am I watching Avatar: The Way of Water?

A bunch of blue-skinned people in tribal gear jump out of the ocean and kill the shit out of everyone on board. One of them has wings on his feet (I had to laugh I’m sorry) and he uses them to catch up to one of the helicopters and destroy it. The last message the CIA gets out is that they’ve been attacked and Wakanda is responsible.

What the fuck was that about!?

The queen arrives back to Wakanda in a ship and we see that the barrier is still up. Not sure why since the cat’s well out of the bag about Wakanda by now, but the real problem is that we see it’s opened by some guys playing a drum that’s partially submerged in water. What the fuck?? I thought, based on the first movie, that Wakandan ships use an onboard device that allows them to phase through the barrier, which is shaped like a dome. We even see T'Challa in Infinity War order the opening of certain sections of the, no doubt communicating with some kind of control center. Here, it’s more like a gate that has to be opened by these drum guys. Are you telling me if they fucked up the beat or somehow missed the queen’s arrival that the queen's ship would have disintegrated right then and there? Why not just have a button? Can you Wakandans do anything normally? Fuck off, movie!

Ramonda meets Shuri in her lab and tells her to continue research on recreating the flower so they can make a new Black Panther but she says “nah.” The Black Panther is a relic of a bygone era to her, and the implication is that she’s burying herself in her work to avoid confronting her grief. Shuri says that for all her skill and the resources she has at her disposal, she couldn’t save her brother’s life.

Damn.

So the Queen tells her she needs to go outside and touch grass and the two go out by the riverside.

With spears for defense. For fuck’s sake.

But we get a bit of dialogue that I quite like!

The Queen tells her that T’Challa isn’t gone. He’s in the breeze and in the trees and sometimes she can feel him right next to her. Shuri bluntly tells her mother that this is just a comforting lie her mind has chosen to rationalize her grief with. It’s cold but it makes sense that Shuri would try to look at this from a strictly logical perspective, both to skip the grieving process and because she’s a scientist. Good stuff!

The reason Ramonda has brought Shuri out here is to burn her funeral clothes, as a ritual to complete the mourning process. But even a year later, Shuri isn’t ready to move on. She tells her that when she thinks of her brother, she thinks of burning the world…

That got weird. I was under the impression Shuri was simply compartmentalizing her pain. I didn’t realize she was harboring misanthropic thoughts of violence. Kind of a sudden swerve for this character tbh.

But before we can think about it more, the winged fishman from earlier pops out of the water!

Shrui and Ramonda grab their spears and the queen demands to know who Fishman is and what the fuck he’s doing here. He starts gushing about seeing Wakanda for the first time, seemingly unaware of the two natives who are pointing spears at him, so she asks again WHO ARE YOU?? So he tells them his name is Namor and he’s the king of Atlantis or whatever. The real question here though is how the fuck did he get inside Wakanda with all of its security?? How did he bypass the huge-ass barrier that fizzles you upon touching it? He says he got inside “through the river” but this raises further questions. First of all, I was under the impression that Wakanda was a fucking land-locked country. 

What “river” did you break in with, exactly? And if this is something you can do, how has Wakanda not accounted for this? What the fuck were the barrier drum people doing to let this happen? Isn’t this a major security breach? Are you telling the Outriders in Infinity War could’ve entered Wakanda that way instead of killing themselves trying to pass through the barrier? Have humans invented submarines or scuba suits yet? I got some bad news if they have.

Anyway Namor tells them that Atlantis has vibranium too, and now the Americans are trying to colonize Atlantis. He wants to kill the scientist responsible for creating the vibranium detector and declares that Wakanda will help him or he’ll start a war with Wakanda, since it’s their fault the rest of the world knows about vibranium. Ramonda tells him to fuck off back into the ocean and he does, but not before adding the stipulation that they can’t tell anyone he was there.

Uh oh.

Let’s talk about Namor’s plan!

So Namor is pissed that the CIA is using a vibranium detector so he’s going to kill the scientist who made the detector. No more scientist means no more vibranium detector, which means no more commotion under the ocean. Mmhmm yes, that floor is indeed made out of floor. The only problem with this galaxy-brain plan is that you solve jack-shit by killing the scientist. There will be plans, prototypes, and backups of this device. You can’t possibly think you’ve destroyed the only one. Unless you’re telling me the CIA bought this single vibranium detector wholesale and never bothered to reverse-engineer it, or try to understand it, or start work on copies, but don’t get me started on how stupid that would be. But more importantly, the damage is done. They’ve already discovered that there’s vibranium in the ocean, and they've recorded the exact spot they found it. Do you think no one’s gonna come back because you destroyed one ship? They’re obviously going to come back to the same site with hundreds more, you fool. They’ll at least investigate the site of the attack. And they’ll probably bring Doctor Strange who’s gonna Harry Potter the shit out of all your little mermaid tricks.

Heheh. I just imagined Doctor Strange in a lil scuba suit.

So our villain is kind of a buffoon. Not that our protagonists are doing much better. None of this would be happening if Wakanda had just shared vibranium with the world like they said they would.

But what can I say? You get what you fucking deserve.

At a council meeting, M’Baku laughs at the idea that the River Tribe let a winged fishman infiltrate the border, and I’m right there with him.

When the queen brings up that preventing war with Atlantis would cost the life of an American scientist, everyone is like “Okay yeah? So?” because Wakanda doesn’t give a single shit about anyone outside of their little bubble. Though to be fair, they rightfully point out that Wakanda has never had to fight another nation with vibranium and they have no Black Panther to protect them. But M’Baku makes sure to remind the council that it was their dumbasses that let Killmonger take over and end the Black Panther line by burning all the flowers.

YES M’BAKU!

I wanted to cheer out loud in my cinema! He’s fucking RIGHT! I’m calling him Based M’Baku from now on.

So Shuri and Ramonda decide their next move with Okoye, who is stunned to hear that Wakanda is not the only place with access to vibranium. They reason that there must have been (at least) two vibranium meteors instead of the one, as is the legend. Which reminds me, even if there is a legend saying vibranium landed in Wakanda and only Wakanda, how have you guys never checked the rest of the world before? It’s not like there isn’t precedent for vibranium being found outside of Wakanda. Like I said earlier, Cap’s shield is made of the stuff. And Klaue was regularly smuggling the stuff out of the country. Why don’t you guys have a vibranium detector of your own? I figured the greedy bastards would make absolutely certain that no other country, above or below the sea, would have any of it.

So Ramonda wants Okoye to go and grab the scientist responsible for making the detector but Okoye proposes that Shuri come along with her. Ramonda (rightfully) tells her that taking the crown princess out of the nation on a field mission is probably not a good idea. Okoye tells her it’ll be a good opportunity for her to go outside and touch some grass and the queen accepts.

I’m sure it’ll be fine.

And so they head out to America, where they make contact with their old “friend”, Everett Ross. He was in the first movie and he’s a nice, normal guy. Shuri refers to him as “her favorite colonizer”.

Right, so I’m gonna talk about this real quick.

One of the many, many things that annoy me about Wakanda as a faction is their habit of using “colonizer” as a pejorative. I know it’s supposed to be a cute little haha teehee when they do it, but it’s awkward as fuck to me and it doesn’t make sense.

Wakanda wasn’t colonized. Wakanda didn’t do anything to stop their fellow African nations from being colonized. According to the legend, Wakanda was formed all those years ago when it colonized its own neighboring tribes. It is really weird for Wakanda to act all high and mighty about colonization. It's just another example how cringey Disney is when they try to nod to real-life issues like this, because they're always so shallow and tone-deaf about it. I figured this was the place to bring it up, if there was one.

Anyway, Ross is going on a nice lil jog when he’s bothered by a fly. Only it’s not a fly, it’s a Wakandan drone!

What the fuck?

He follows the drone into the forest where Shuri and Okoye are waiting to meet him. The drone is in fact one of Shuri’s BALLS.

But uh…what was that all about? Why not just call him like a normal person? Why do you guys do everything in the weirdest ways possible? Everett Ross asks something to this effect and Okoye asks “Do I look like I have your number?”

I mean haha, but like, why wouldn’t you? He’s your primary American contact.

Anyway, moving on…

The two ask about the scientist who made the detector but Ross tells them Wakanda got some ‘splaining to do for what happened out in the ocean, since he assumes it was them. A perfectly reasonable assumption since Wakanda is able and willing to do some shit like this. He makes sure to note that some of the people who died were personal friends of his.

Damn.

They tell him that Wakanda had nothing to do with the attack (this time), but they can’t tell him who did for their own safety, and it’s imperative that they get to the scientist first. Shuri tells Ross he owes her.

Whoo boy.

What she’s referring to is the time she saved his life in Black Panther. Makes enough sense if you ignore the context of those events. Ross, the absolute chad, took a bullet for Nakia (T’Challa’s not-girlfriend) right in the spine. It was only that they inserted one of the balls into the injury that kept him alive (one of the balls’ many, many functions is stabilizing spinal injuries. Yes really). They then spent a ridiculous amount of time arguing whether to heal him in Wakanda, with Okoye pushing back against it since it would jeopardize the nation's secrets. Of course, if someone in the room had a brain cell at the time, they would have proposed to just keep him unconscious while they heal him before dropping him back off in America but whatever.

So to recap, the debt Shuri is talking about is when they almost decided not to save his life after he saved one of their lives without hesitation. It took some convincing but hey, they did it. I just think it’s funny that now Ross thinks he owes them now. As far as I’m concerned, he paid back whatever debt he had when he helped to stop Killmonger’s rogue ships from exiting Wakanda. And it was nice to see him get genuinely upset at something he thought Wakanda did. But now he’s back to doing their bidding.

He directs them to MIT where they discover the scientist is…a young college girl?? We see her demand payment via Venmo from a student she recently helped with a robotics project. I think the implication is he came up with the idea but she made it work. Okoye can’t help making a comment about how primitive iPhones are.

Fuck off, Okoye! Maybe if SOMEONE decided to share their hyper-advanced tech balls that are capable of video calls, stabilizing spinal injuries, and being tiny flying drones with the world we wouldn’t have to keep using our "primitive" iPhones.

What’s funny to me is that Shuri sees the girl and says, “She’s just a student! We can’t give her to Namor!” So…were you gonna hand her over if she wasn’t a student then? What if she was a professor? Were you expecting an evil scientist or something?

So Shuri follows the girl to her dorm and Riri Williams (that’s her name) is stunned to see the princess of Wakanda asking to come in her room. She then says, casually, that she built the vibranium detector as a project for her metallurgy class, not for the CIA.

????????

How the fuck did Riri make this for a school project? Where did she get the parts? How does one make a working vibranium detector without a vibranium sample? How did the CIA get their hands on this thing without the inventor’s knowledge? This is world-changing technology. She would have been compensated out the wazoo and pulled out of school immediately. You do not need a degree from MIT if you’re able to build something like this. They would have enrolled her as one of their top scientists, in league with the likes of Bruce Banner. Speaking of, how has Stark, Banner, or Shuri not created a vibranium detector when this 19-year-old girl can make one in a couple months? All of these questions will not be answered. The important thing to know here is that Riri Williams is really really smart and she is just SO awesome and she's the key to everything. She’s kinda like America Chavez from Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. She’s not so much of a character as she’s just kind of a person for everyone to fight over.

So Shuri tells Riri she’s gonna have to come with her. Riri goes to the bathroom to take a panic shit I guess and Okoye comes out of the fucking bathroom! Riri is rightfully piss-terrified now and tells her to get out of her dorm. She throws a speaker at Okoye and she slices it in half with her spear! Okoye tells her she can come to Wakanda conscious or unconscious.

Jesus Christ, Wakandans are fucking savages.

Shuri casually lets out the fact that a winged merman is trying to kill Riri, I guess as an attempt to scare her into coming with them which…why is that your approach?? If it were me I’d be even more scared to come! I’d probably be calling the police or public safety.

So Riri weighs her options and decides that at least these psychopaths are probably a safer bet since they aren’t actively trying to kill her.

For now.

She takes them to an old auto repair shop that she’s now using as her workspace. We see the plans for the vibranium detector(!) as well as plans for an Iron Man suit!

What the fuck.

You guys know why Tony Stark was the only one with an Iron Man suit right? The arc reactor was integral to the design, and it was a proprietary piece that he invented and perfected. Anyone who tried to replicate it was doomed to fail, not because they lacked his intellect, but because they lacked his unique experience and craftsmanship with the device. Now you’re telling me you can scrap one together in your garage? Fuck off, movie!

Unfortunately for our (dare I say) heroes, the FBI comes knocking. Apparently you can’t just waltz into a foreign nation and smuggle a person of interest out of the country!

So Riri’s Iron Man suit looks about…half-complete. What you might think is that this is a setup for when she uses the suit maybe in the climax of the movie. But nope! She’s gonna use it right now and it’s gonna work out just fine. Okoye hops into a car and Shuri gets on a motorcycle. The three hightail it out of there with the police in hot pursuit. During our super cool chase scene, the police create a blockade in the road, and Riri blows the shit out of all of them with her Iron Man suit! 

WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL, GIRL?

Five minutes ago you were worried about missing your math class and now you’re blowing people up! I know the movie’s having fun right now but this isn’t okay just because the protagonists are doing it. You are aware of how fucked up this is right, movie? These are supposed to be the good guys right, movie? 

Or wait…this is supposed to be a cool “fuck da police” moment isn’t it.

Fucking hell, Disney.

But it’s not over! Meeting them at the bridge is the blue fish people from Atlantis! They hop in on a fucking whale. 

They take out everyone’s vehicles and Shuri and Riri are knocked out. Okoye is left to fight off these four warriors. Now Okoye is pretty good with a spear, and luckily for her, this race of people seem to find guns just as laughable as the Wakandans. But they do have her outnumbered, four to one. She’s just barely able to fight off three of them, and during this fight they’re shown to be able to self-heal.

Hmm I don't know…

But then a third, chungus warrior steps up to the plate and turns the tide against her. Chungus tells the others to go kill the officers who didn’t die in the explosion to eliminate any witnesses. Okoye and Chungus have a little standoff and at one point, Okoye drops her spear only for Chungus to give it back to her. Now normally I am a fucking slut for the “honorable warrior race who wants a good, fair fight” trope, but these guys are on a military mission that’s of high importance to them, so this really isn’t the time for that? And it’s also kinda too late to characterize them this way since they’ve already shown that they’re not at all above fighting dirty, what with their ambush at the ocean, fighting Okyoe 3-on-1, and the singing that makes you kill yourself…speaking of which, why aren’t they using that here?

As if to make fun of Okoye’s compulsive habit of slicing everything she sees in half, the blue people throw some projectiles at her and she slices them in half…only they turn out to be grenades full of compressed water! It blows her right into the fucking sea.

Aw jeez.

Shuri comes to right as the fish people are dragging Riri’s body into the ocean, and she begs to see Namor in exchange for sparing the girl’s life. 

Guess what? They agree.

Riri’s body is right there, prone, and ready for stabbing, and they decide to take her and Shuri prisoner instead of just killing them right then and there. My God.

So the two are given breathing thingies and they’re taken into the ocean en route to Atlantis. Okoye surfaces and freaks out because the princess of Wakanda has been kidnapped under her watch.

Fuck.

ACT II (Shuri and Namor, Attack on Wakanda)

We cut to the next day and Okoye is explaining what happened in Cambridge the previous night. Wait what!? You mean you didn’t radio Wakanda the moment Shuri was captured!? What the fuck, Okoye?

Okoye tells the queen that the fish people were really really strong and they could heal and they were totally using hacks and that’s why she failed to protect Shuri.

Ramonda is not impressed. She tells Okoye that she does not know de wey, and strips her of her title. She is no longer General of the Dora Milaje

Damn.

A council member notes that Okoye once stood up to her own husband in the name of Wakanda, but Ramonda shoots him down, saying she can visit him in prison while her husband, her son, and now her daughter are gone.

I’ve been taking the piss out of this movie a lot but I just wanna say Angela Basset is acting her damn heart out as Queen Ramonda. She does an amazing job. This scene is a particular highlight.

But, of course, then we get an (unintentionally) funny scene. Ramonda goes to ask Wakandan Jarvis if they can track Shuri by her balls and he’s like “yeah sure.” How have you not tried that from the start if this is something you can do?? For fuck’s sake, movie!

Next we see Ross at the bridge investigating the site of the attack. He meets up with Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine…ah fuck off that name is too long! I’m just gonna call her Madame Hydra. And let me tell you, I am already sick to death of this character and we’ve only seen her twice now. She takes me right out of the movie/show whenever I see her because she’s not a character. She’s a walking advertisement for Thunderbolts. I have no sense of who she is to this universe, what her goals are, or even anything about her personality. She’s always just there. It’s even worse in this movie because she isn’t even recruiting anyone for her Suicide Squad. She’s just a stand-in for the CIA. She is a prop whose only purpose is to help pay lip-service to the idea of an interconnected universe, even though none of these movies/shows connect with one another in any meaningful way.

Though we do learn something new about her: she casually reveals that she’s Ross’s ex-wife…okay??

The important thing about this scene is that Ross sees one of Shuri’s balls and pockets it without telling anyone.

Who’s side are you on?

Meanwhile, Ramonda goes to Haiti to see Nakia! Remember her? She’s T’Challa’s not-girlfriend from the first movie! I don’t blame anyone for forgetting she existed since she was completely absent in Infinity War and Endgame. Apparently she fucked off to Haiti before Thanos’s attack on Wakanda. I guess she figured it would be fine.

I wonder if she got dusted?

Anyway, the queen asks her for her help in rescuing Shuri since espionage is her forte and this is a special mission that can only be entrusted to her. She gets to work on infiltrating Atlantis. To the movie’s credit, Nakia was established to be a spy in the first film.

Shuri and Riri wake up in Atlantis in a rather luxurious prison. Namor asks to see Shuri and takes her to the place he takes all his girls. He begins to tell her why he must kill Riri.

It all started in 1571 Yucatan. The people were dying from the plague, and—

Wait what the fuck? I thought you were explaining why Riri had to die. Why are you telling your whole life story? …oh wait is it for the audience. Well carry on then, I guess.

I’m not kidding when I say this flashback goes on for like ten minutes. This movie is 2 hours and 40 minutes long, making it the longest MCU film behind Endgame. It could easily be 30 minutes shorter without losing anything substantive. If I were in charge of editing this movie down, this scene would be first on the chopping block. I swear you could leave your theater to take a shit and come back and it’ll still be going.

Basically the Yucatan people were dying from smallpox, and so they prayed to their god Chaac for rain and abundance. Chaac provided one man with, wouldn’t you know it, a vibranium plant.

Jesus Christ how many pantheons of gods exist in the MCU at this point? We had Norse gods already, and then the panther god Bast from the first film. In Phase 4 alone, we’ve added Egyptian gods, Greek gods, and now Mayan gods. With so many gods there’s no way they aren’t aware of each other at this point. Are there gods of the same thing that end up stepping on each other’s toes or encroaching on each other’s domains?

Anyway, there are like 8 guys and they crush the plant into juice. All of them decide they should drink it, except for one lady who’s pregnant. She’s afraid of what will happen to her baby.

Lady, your two options are to take a chance on this plant and maybe kill your baby, or succumb to smallpox which will kill you and your baby. I’d take what your god has provided you!

So they drink the juice and it turns them blue and incapable of breathing air. Oh no! Except it’s all cool cause now they can live underwater for the rest of their lives! Yay…? The baby, born from a fish lady and a human, is named K’uk’ulkan, and he’s able to breathe in air and water. Neat! He is gifted with wings on his feet (no idea why don’t ask) and it’s important to note that he is officially a Mutant in this universe. Before his mother dies, she asks her son to bury her in the land she grew up in. So they take her and…oh no, slavery! 

We went from whips and chains to whips and chains…

I’m making fun but they literally walk for about a minute before coming across Mayan people in chains and being whipped by evil oppressors. It reminds of Lapis Lazuli in Steven Universe saying she was just visiting Earth, but then just happened to get “caught in the middle of the war.”

So this angers K’uk’ulkan to the point he and the rest of the people kill everyone in the village, as you do.

“But Ib, surely by everyone you mean just the oppressors…right?”

Well the thing is the editing is really weird here. We cut to present-day Namor talking, then we cut back to the end of the carnage with some buildings on fire. So I have no idea if they only killed the evil people or if they killed everyone. The movie decided to leave it to my imagination and I’m definitely not gonna put it past these fuckers.

One remaining priest calls K’uk’ulkan “Namor”, as in “Ne” + “amor”, as in “without love.” And so he embraces it as his new name or whatever because he has no love for the surface people.

Way to honor your dead mom, dude! You bury her in a place where you slaughtered hundreds of people and then you give up the name she gave you in favor of one given to you by an enemy.

But since this is the end of the flashback, I have a number of questions about Atlantis:

• If Atlantis started with like 8 guys, doesn’t that mean the population is more inbred than your average Alabama household?

• How did they build an underwater civilization (buildings and such)?

• There doesn’t seem to be shit and piss floating around everywhere so where do they go to the bathroom?

• If vibranium is so cool and awesome and unbreakable, how do you mine it? (Honestly this could be applied to Wakanda as well)

• How did Namor bring a fucking miniature sun down to his people? What the fuck is that about?

• What’s the deal with the singing? How did they learn they could do that to surface dwellers if they spent all this time isolated from the surface world?

So just before Shuri falls asleep from boredom, Namor takes her hand and asks, “Do you trust me?”

She responds, “...Yes.”

And then he takes her on his magic carpet to go on a romantic whirlwind tour of Atlantis. He tells her that he has people to protect (you know, unlike every other world leader) and that’s why he can’t let Riri live. He takes Shuri to a special room where he’s actually never taken any of his girls yet and he tells her that they can rule together. They’ll be the most powerful couple in the world and dominate the Earth!

Damn, he’s making moves on the girl! He even gives her his mother’s bracelet! It’s made of the same vibranium plant that saved their lives so many years ago.

Mama Namor punching the air rn in her grave.

But Shuri isn’t won over so easily by Namor’s sexy, Spanish voice. She tells him that he does not know de wey, and that she won’t see eye-to-eye with him on killing Riri. Namor says that the vibranium detector signifies that war with the surface is on the horizon, and that Wakanda must either side with Atlantis or take arms against it. No in-between.

Good god, Riri really is like America Chavez. There’s some psychopath trying to justify why killing her is not only okay, but absolutely necessary, even though it does nothing to solve their problem. If Riri’s detector means war with the surface is imminent then killing her is not going to do a damn thing you radish man.

Stop reminding me of Multiverse of Madness! It isn’t gonna do you any favors, movie!

Ramonda summons Namor to the surface and demands her daughter back, threatening to tell the US that Atlantis is real. Namor says if she tries any funny business he’ll kill Shuri and her.

But before Namor can fuck off back into the ocean, Nakia shows up to save Shuri and Riri!

Don’t ask me how!

Nakia is guns blazing but then one of the nice prison caretaker fish ladies holds Shuri at knifepoint as a hostage. Nakia tells Shuri to move her left arm, and this allows Nakia to shoot the lady. I have no idea what actually happened or how Shuri moving her arm allowed Nakia to save her because I fucking blinked. Anyway, Shuri and Riri are saved, and Namor sees one of his people slain and decides enough is enough…

Wait, that lady is dead!? I thought the fish people could self-heal! Explain yourself, movie!

We then get a scene where Riri’s original kidnappers are showing her around Wakanda, and it sinks in that she really isn’t gonna be allowed to leave. She asks if she can at least call her mom, who’s probably worried sick about her child who vanished from her campus to blow up police cars and visit Atlantis.

And they cut to the next scene! They cut to the next fucking scene! We never find out if they let her call her mom! You can’t leave that stuff to assumption, movie! I don’t trust these fuckers at Wakanda as far as I can throw them.

We’re now at the center of Wakanda city (I think) where people are enjoying life and just having a ball. Among them are some kids playing in kayaks. I don’t think anyone would wanna be anywhere near water after finding out the fish people breached Wakanda’s barrier that way, but oh well. I mean I’m sure they’ve patched that security breach by now.

I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Nakia meets up with Okoye, who is now a regular citizen, and Okoye says something I almost missed.

“After Thanos’s attack, you left without a word. It hurt.”

After?? As in, she was there during the battle?? No, she bloody wasn’t! Why are you lying, movie?

Nakia says she couldn’t stand to be in Wakanda while T’Challa was dusted. And I just realized, man, Wakanda went through it in the past 8 years or so.

First, King T’Chaka was killed in an explosion. Then, T’Challa was thought to be dead after Killmonger threw him off a cliff, then T’Challa and Shuri were dusted, and then they came back only for T’Challa to die for real.

God damn.

The best parts of this movie are when things get quiet and contemplative. Characters talking about their feelings of grief and how they’ve chosen to deal with it is something this movie needed so much more of. I feel like there’s a great film here but it’s buried under the usual MCU sludge.

Speaking of, the girls’ heart-to-heart is interrupted when water starts pouring into the village(?) and Okoye realizes a little too late that they’re under attack! Torrents of water come flooding into Wakanda from all directions.

Can the fish people control water or what? 

But also, WAKANDA?? Why the hell haven’t you fortified your defenses since the last time you’ve been breached? You let the fish people in the exact same way they came in the first time!

For all of Wakanda’s talk of how powerful they are, it turns out they are completely unprepared for any outside attack. I would think they’d have all kinds of turrets and automated defenses up for this exact kind of scenario, but nope. The Atlanteans completely hand their ass to them.

Bet you wish you hadn't torched all your foreign relations right about now, huh? I can't help but think how easy it would be for Scarlet Witch to turn Namor and all his forces into spaghetti.

Speaking of Namor, he's whizzing around on his stupid ankle wings and slicing vehicles clean in half. The amount of damage he alone causes is insane. The fish people are drowning citizens left and right and using their siren song to make people kill themselves before they can provide aid.

I just wanna point out that there are children in the area. Children who could hear the song and be compelled to drown themselves.

Jesus Christ, I’m pretty sure the movie wants me to sympathize with Wakanda and Atlantis to some extent but I fucking hate both of them. 

Except for Based M’Baku. That man was jumping into the water and saving as many citizens as he could while he was full-on in his gorilla gear. What a legend.

So things come to a head when Namor decides to make a beeline for Ramonda at the palace window with his mighty spear, and he just…cracks it.

🤓 “But Ibrahim, I thought Namor’s spear was made of vibranium!”

Well, Nerd Emoji, yes, it is. At least I’m assuming it is, considering what it does to the ships. But if it isn’t enough to shatter the glass, then the glass should be made of vibranium too. So a vibranium spear can slice through vibranium ships like they’re made of butter but can’t pierce vibranium glass…

Uh huh…

But do you wanna know what is strong enough to break the vibranium glass?

Water.

Namor throws some of the water grenades from earlier and it blows the damn windows clean off.

What. The. Fuck.

Is the water made of vibranium too or some shit? Jesus fucking Christ, how does one compress that much vibranium water inside a grenade anyway? How?? Bear in mind that Okoye took one of these to the face already, and it blew her back about a yard. Considering what it does to this window, it should’ve turned her into negro soup!

And I do mean the windows are blown clean off. The glass is utterly obliterated, because otherwise the Queen and Riri (I forgot to mention Riri was in the room with her) would be chock-full of glass shards, and they would both be dead right here.

So there is a fuck-ton of water in this throne room, to the point where Ramonda and Riri are drowning. I’m gonna explain this the best I can for anyone who might be confused because this scene is all kinds of tism.

There is a hole in the throne room floor, for some reason, that leads into a lower level room that looks like a basement of some sort. This is where Ramonda and Riri are now. The water grenade blew them into this room and it is filled with water. Angela Bassett wakes up underwater and instead of flailing in a panic, she’s just floating all majestic and serene like she’s in a fucking music video or a trailer for Avatar 2, before she decides to help Riri, who is unconscious. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever been unconscious underwater, but I’ll tell you it is not a good time. You are in imminent danger because you are straight-up inhaling water and you will asphyxiate faster than a conscious person who can hold their breath.

So take a wild guess who survives.

Ramonda takes Riri and swims her up to the surface as fast as she can. She’s able to help Riri just break surface before drowning.

Queen Ramonda is dead.

And I’m sorry. I am so so sorry because this is a dramatic death scene and I felt for the characters. But the image of Angela Bassett’s head bobbing in the water over this hole in the ground almost did me in.

But I held in my laughter. This time.

Now what I actually laughed at (and I’m not sorry for) is Namor shouting from the window, “She did this!! I’ll be back in a week with my army! Just you wait!”, etc. while Okoye, Nakia, and co are trying to resuscitate Riri and their queen and Shuri cries out in the background, completely ignoring him. It’s almost like he didn’t anticipate this outcome and now he’s trying to play it off like he planned it to save face.

And so Namor just leaves with his army, even though he’s right on the cusp of winning. Riri is right there and he could kill her, but he leaves instead.

So the queen checks out, leaving Shuri without her father, her brother, and now her mother. She is now Queen of Wakanda, whether she likes it or not.

Fuck.

Thank God Riri Williams made it out okay.

ACT III (The Black Panther's Return)

So it’s time for yet another funeral (Damn this is probably like the third funeral Shuri has had to go to for her family in the past nine years or so! They must have had one for her and T’Challa when they got snapped! Phew.)

I’ll give another acting credit here. I wasn’t sure about Letitia Wright in the lead role for this movie, considering she was a comic-relief sidekick to T’Challa, but she does an amazing job as well. It’s been great seeing a more emotional side to Shuri and Wright’s performance is believable and impactful.

We get another great moment with Based M’Baku. He asks Shuri for her opinion on a plan to evacuate the city. Shuri dryly asks him why he’s suddenly interested in taking counsel from “a child who scoffs at tradition,” calling back to a remark he made about her in the first movie. His reply is great.

“The world has taken too much from you for you to still be considered a child.”

He then asks Shuri where her heart is leaning. Her response is just as hard-hitting:

“I just buried the last person who truly knew me. My heart is buried with her.”

There are places where this movie is trying. It really is. And it makes criticizing it so much harder to do.

We cut back to Everett Ross’s house and Madame Hydra is there. She tells him that she’s been onto him the entire time! She had the Wakandan balls rigged before he even got the bridge (can you do that??) and has been tapping into his unsanctioned calls with Wakanda.

Well played, Madame Hydra. I mean, except for the fact that if anyone else had picked up the ball, or if they just left it alone, this entire gambit would’ve fallen apart.

But nice bit of luck I guess.

So Ross gets arrested for disclosing classified information with a foreign power!

Consequences? In an MCU film? It’s a Christmas miracle!

Back at the lab, Shuri tells Riri it’s time for the Black Panther to return. She’s created her own suit, and she’s gone to work trying to re-created the sacred plant using the sample from Mama Namor’s bracelet, as well as T’Challa’s DNA. She hypothesizes with Riri that Namor must get his strength from being in the water, and so the best way to weaken him is to dry him up. 

While Shuri works on the plant, Riri uses Wakanda’s resources to start building an improved Ironheart suit. Shuri also offers more Iron Man-esque suits that she’s been working on to Okoye and two other spear ladies.

Whatever the hell you want, movie.

So once work on the plant is complete, Wakandan Jarvis determines that the probability of it working is about 97%! Shuri prints it, and she and Nakia watch on in anticipation. The synthetic plant glows, signifying that it’ll work and it’s just as well as the real thing.

What fresh hell is this.

Wakanda had a garden’s worth of these flowers that grew in perpetuity. These flowers grant the user increased speed, strength, agility, and overall health, and they chose to only give to one guy when they could have shared this with the rest of their population (or at least the king’s guard), if not the world. Then Killmonger burned them all because the council let him take over after winning a fight and were willing to kowtow to all his demands.

And now you’re telling me you can make the flowers in a damn 3D printer.

I know it seems unfair to criticize this. The first film kind of left our heroes in a difficult position that would be hard to write them out of. And he couldn’t have predicted Chadwick Boseman’s passing. But the truth is that was the corner Ryan Coogler chose to write himself into. He wasn’t locked into writing Killmonger the way he did. He chose to write the edgy bad boy burning down all the flowers cause he’s so angry and tragic.

But, back to this film.

Nakia gets to work on making the Black Panther juice so Shuri can drink it and go to Dream Land. Shuri lays down a lab table as she prepares to ingest the juice. I thought you had to be buried in the sand place for this to work, but whatever.

So Shuri wakes up in the Dream Land version of the palace. It’s filled with water, and Shuri swims up the same hole her mother died in (nice touch, movie). She slowly turns to face the throne where she meets…KILLMONGER??

What the fuck are you doing here?

Shuri asks this exact question word-for-word and Killmonger says that he’s here because Shuri chose him.

You are so full of shit, movie.

There are exactly two people that Shuri would “choose” to see in Dream Land at this moment: her mother or T’Challa. And only one of those is possible to see on screen. So no, movie, I don’t believe you. Killmonger is here because the character is a fan-favorite and you wanted to bring him back as a neat little surprise. That’s fine but just be honest about it. Or come up with a better excuse.

Killmonger tells Shuri that she took the herb so she can gain the strength to take vengeance on her enemies. So the two of them are not so different.

I see we’re still doing the thing about Shuri having a dark, vengeful streak or whatever. I’d forgotten about it by now because there was nothing else to build this up since the scene by the river. 

Now I was gonna groan and tear this scene apart for doing the “we’re not so different even though we totally are” trope, which I hate and want to die a grisly death, but Shuri spits this back in Michael B. Jordan’s face for me, telling him that he ain’t shit because he selfishly took the flower power for himself and burned the rest like the insecure edgelord he is, leaving Wakanda with no protector.

Nicely done, movie.

But then Killmonger starts naming the sins of the royal family (ignoring all the context of these events, of course). Ramonda sacrificed herself to save an outsider. T’Chaka was a hypocrite because he would’ve killed Riri the way he killed his brother. And T’Challa was too noble because he let the man that killed his father live.

And he does that villain thing where he’s slowly walking circles around her while talking, and her face gets more and more unsure, indicating that his words are having an effect.

Fucking hell, movie.

He then asks whether she’ll follow in T’Challa’s “noble” footsteps or “take care of business” like him, and Shuri wakes up from Dream Land in a panic. Nakia tries to comfort her and Shuri lashes out at her, lying that she saw no one there and her family abandoned her and the whole ritual was for nothing, instead of just telling Nakia that she saw Killmonger.

Okay.

During this little tism, Shuri punches the shit out of some armor, showing she now has the strength of the Black Panther.

God damn!

What follows is Shuri showing up in front of Based M’Baku with her new suit. The two have an arm-wrestling competition…and Shuri wins.

The Black Panther lives!!!

So they have a big ol’ meeting where Shuri basically says Wakanda is going to clap back and kill Namor. Everyone is on-board except for Based M’Baku, who tells Shuri that this is not de wey. Even if they kill him, Namor is not just a king, but a god to his people. Killing him could lead to eternal war with Atlantis, something Ramonda wouldn’t have wanted for her, nor does he want for Wakanda. Shuri tells Based M’Baku to piss off. Her mother is dead so what she wants doesn’t matter anymore. She decides what is de wey now.

Damn.

The day of the battle is upon us, and so Wakanda evacuates all its citizens (not sure where they could go where Namor couldn’t reach them but a worthy effort, I suppose) and gets ready to fight the fish people at sea…

Wait what?

Why is Wakanda fighting the fish people in their element? Did I miss something?

So Namor’s people come to tell him that they’re using another vibranium detector in the ocean. They go to investigate (read: destroy) it, only it turns out to be a trap by the Wakandans! It’s actually a sonic weapon meant to hurt their ear holes and drive them out of the water, where the Wakandans are waiting in their navy battleship.

Why does a landlocked country have a—You know what never mind fuck off movie.

By the way, the ship uncloaks itself to reveal itself to the fish people. What the point of the cloaking even was if they were just gonna take it off, we will never know.

And so, the battle begins. The fish people destroy the sonic machine and so they start climbing the ship. What is Wakanda’s plan, you may wonder? Well, Wakanda’s plan is to throw the fish people off the ship…and back into the water. Repeat this process until they run out of health, I guess.

Really starting to feel that three-hour runtime right about now…

We see Riri’s completed Ironheart suit and it…honestly didn’t look as bad to me in the theater as people on the internet made it seem. Yeah, the design itself isn’t great, the robo-cornrows are dumb as fuck, and it lacks the tangibility as Iron Man’s first suit from 2008, but even the Iron Man suits started to lose their tangibility towards the end of his run. The best I can say is that I could believe Riri was there. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just used to crappy Marvel CGI by now.

What does look horrendous are the Midnight Angel suits Okoye and the other spear ladies are using. 

What the fuck is this? Why does your robotic suit have dreads?? Your stupid nanotech helmet doesn’t even cover your entire head. For fuck’s sake, movie!

By the way, I guess Okoye is back to giving orders to the Dora Milaje? I guess it’s fine since the person who fired her is dead. Rip.

So the fish people piss around with the Wakandans on the ship for a bit, instead of, you know, singing their song and ending the fight right here, while Shuri goes for Namor personally. She does a little coordinated move with Riri that lands him inside of a Wakandan ship, where they begin turning him into smoked salmon with the heating system. Only she doesn’t restrain him or put him in the brig or anything like that. She doesn’t even confiscate his weapon. She just...watches him stand there.

Okay?

The gang decides to head back to Wakanda now that Namor has been, uh, “captured,” only one of the fish people places a bomb in the ship’s sonic weapon, compromising the motor(?) and leaving the Wakandans out at sea. The fish people bring reinforcements via whale (I just realized we were robbed of a fight between the Atlantean whales and the Wakandan war rhinos) and they sink the ship like the fucking Titanic by letting loose a bunch of their water grenades.

Yeah, don’t ask me at this point.

So Namor breaks free from his, uh, “prison” by stabbing through the floor of the ship with his spear, as you do. Great fucking plan anyway Shuri. Were you expecting Namor to just stand still the entire way back to Wakanda?

They take their fight to shore and they trade blows for a bit. A little thing that I like is that while Shuri has ingested the Black Panther juice and has a cool suit, that doesn’t make her an instant combat expert. There are basic things she knows but she has a hard time fighting Namor, who’s been in the game for hundreds of years. She’s still not used to being out in the field, and she wasn’t trained as a warrior for her whole life like her brother. Good job movie, you get a sticker.

Their fight ends with Shuri clawing off one of Namor’s stupid ankle wings (ow), and Namor stabbing Shuri right in the gut with his spear!

GOD DAMN!

But Shuri has one last trick up her sleeve. She pulls the spear out her stomach (AND DOESN’T DIE. WHAT THE FUCK) and stops Namor from going back into the ocean. She makes the “Wakanda Forever” gesture which ignites the flames from her downed ship, setting Namor’s back on fucking fire. 

We then see the conclusion to Shuri’s earlier conversation with Killmonger. It almost looks like she’s about to choose vengeance and finish Namor off, only for a vision of Angela Bassett to appear from Dream Land! I wonder where she was when Shuri went to Dream Land personally, and I didn’t know she could just appear in a vision like this, but whatever. She reminds Shuri that this is not de wey. Shuri proposes a peaceful alliance to Namor, saying they must not let vengeance consume them, calling back to T’Challa’s line from Civil War.

Ehhhhhh… this isn’t even close to being earned but sure, movie.

So Namor, grateful that the Black Panther spared his life, tells his people to stop fighting and everyone goes home. The Wakandans send Riri home but can’t let her keep the suit. Probably for the better, considering she blew people up with only a prototype. Though it’s interesting that Shuri’s doing this in the name of avoiding controversy since her agreement with Namor included that she cover up the Atlanteans’ existence from America.

To give a brief summary, Wakanda has suffered hundreds of casualties, including its queen, and Shuri has not only chosen to end conflict with Namor, but has essentially chosen to guard the secrecy of a rogue state. One that has committed some very serious war crimes.

It really seems like Atlantis got the better end of this “agreement”, doesn’t it?

So does that mean you guys are gonna kill anyone who tries looking for vibranium underwater? Does that mean you guys are gonna take the fall for what happened on the bridge in Boston? Are you taking the fall for what happened to the mining ship? Because you realize you’re in serious trouble if you do, right? You’re already in hot water with the rest of the world because you’ve been hoarding your vibranium for the past 5 years, and they already think you did this shit. You already kidnapped a scientist who’s important to the CIA! You’re just gonna come out and say, “Yeah those other war crimes? That was us too lol”? Speaking of the scientist, what the hell is Riri supposed to say when the government asks her to build another vibranium detector? “No”? After being abducted by Wakandans?

That’s gonna go over real well, I’m sure.

But the reasons don’t stop there for why covering for Atlantis is a shitty thing to do. Imagine the Americans who lost friends and family members and will never know why. Imagine the Wakandans who lost friends and family members (which I’ll remind you included medics providing aid and children). They will never get justice, and now have to keep quiet about anything to do with Atlantis. If I were a citizen of Wakanda, I would think we’d been conquered and used as a puppet state by Atlantis. It’s the only explanation for my country’s sudden complicity.

You’re going to address this right, movie? Wakanda’s relations with the rest of the world, especially America, are gonna go to shit more than they already have. Everything is not fine right now.

We then see Okoye break Ross out of custody (so much for consequences). Cool, but like, he still committed espionage. That’s a serious fucking offense. He’s a fugitive now. You understand this right, movie?

Movie, I need you to tell me you understand. This is not a “slap on the wrist” type of scenario. Ross cannot show up in an official government position the next time we see him.

Back in Atlantis, Namor’s cousin (I don’t care to remember her name) expresses disappointment at Namor’s surrender because she was really looking forward to killing all the negroes. Namor tells her that this was a tactical decision, as Wakanda can prove to be a major asset once war with the surface world begins.

Which means we’re gonna see more of this character at some point. Kill me.

It’s Challenge Day back at Wakanda, only Shuri doesn’t show up. Instead…it’s Based M’Baku! He says he’s challenging for the throne, but we cut away before we see what happens next. I’m positive that this is Disney’s way of putting a metaphorical gun to Letitia Wright’s head and telling her she’s on thin fucking ice and they can replace her as the Black Panther at any point if she doesn’t quit her anti-vaxxer bullshit.

But where is Shuri? Well, she’s met up with Nakia over in Haiti. She’s finally ready to burn her funeral clothes. We get a silent and heartfelt montage of all her moments with T’Challa, as she finally allows herself to mourn him and say goodbye. The scene is tasteful and poignant. We’re right there with Shuri as we remember Chadwick’s impeccable performance as T’Challa, while a song by Rihanna plays over the credits. It’s a beautiful way to close out the film. I just hope they don’t undercut it with—

In a post-credit scene, Nakia reveals that she and T’Challa kinda sorta got busy and Shuri is now an aunt to a young boy named Toussaint. Though he was raised in secret, she says the queen got to meet him before she died. Toussaint reveals that his name is Haitian. His Wakandan name…is T’Challa.

Cut to credits.

Alright, let’s have a chat about that movie shall we?

SUMMATION

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is a movie with a lot of heart. Unfortunately, the best parts of the movie have nothing to do with the actual movie. It’s the isolated moments where things slow down and we get to explore how these characters feel. The movie can’t help falling into disarray when it comes time to tell an actual story.

We’ll go through each pillar one by one, before I give a final assessment, followed by my own subjective take on the film.

WORLD

The “world”, once again, is contained to this film with little reference to anything else in this supposedly “shared” universe. Seemingly, none of the Avengers were invited to T’Challa’s funeral, despite being personal friends with him. Every other hero is apparently busy when Wakanda commits crimes on American soil. Disney has decided once again to introduce a previously unheard-of organization/civilization that apparently has been around the whole time. Where the hell were the Atlanteans when half of the universe turned to dust? I imagine that would be the time they’d go looking for a fight with the surface world (and if you try to tell me every single one of them were among the half that didn’t get snapped, I will throw a shoe at you). But yeah, worldbuilding is not something the MCU likes to do. There’s no regard for past works, nor is there regard for what future writers will have to work with.

World: 2/10

PLOT

Like most Marvel films now, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever has a hard time knowing who’s morally good and who’s evil. It’s embarrassing that we’re still entertaining the idea that someone who wants to burn down the world might be sympathetic. It also has a disturbing lack of self-awareness about how repressive Wakanda is. The country’s slogan at this point might as well be, “it’s okay when we do it.” Infiltrating another nation and stealing their resources? It’s okay when Wakanda does it. Hoarding your own resources, to the point of not providing for your own people, let alone the world? It’s okay when Wakanda does it. Yet, despite all their haughtiness they’re weak during an attack. It has to be for our drama to happen. They are unbelievable as a faction, sitting on their miracle metal. Speaking of which, vibranium is even more convenient than it was in the first film. It is literally just magic at this point. It does anything, and I mean anything the plot needs it to. Except break vibranium glass, of course. You need water for that. It’s hard to feel any sort of stakes for the Wakandans, even when they’re outside their element, because I know they’ll pull out one of their balls and it’ll have a function that suits their exact situation. How are you able to 3D print a sacred plant? If Mama Namor’s bracelet is made from the same stuff as the plant that turned everyone into fish people, why doesn’t Shuri become a weird fish person/Black Panther hybrid when she recreates the herb from it? We have to gloss over how any of it works because there’s no time to explain, despite this movie running for almost three hours. We do have time for that classic Marvel dialogue you’ve come to love so much.

[Riri]: *tells Okoye to get out of her room, threatens her with a boombox*

[Okoye]: Look how they teach the young ones to treat their elders!

[Riri]: *throws the boombox*

[Okoye]: I like this one!

What the fuck changed??

We also have time for indulgent, time-wasting nonsense like the fly scene with Ross and Namor’s ridiculous flashback. Speaking of the Atlanteans, giving them a siren song was a huge mistake because it ruins every fight they’re in. They should and would be using that all the damn time. The surface world is well and conquered at that point, except for maybe our other heroes, which the movie can’t acknowledge for the plot to work the way it does.

So yeah, our plot is pretty much in tatters.

Plot: 2/10

CHARACTER

I have no idea why Riri Williams is in this movie except to promote the upcoming Ironheart show. I compared her to America Chavez but even she had some kind of motivation tied to a backstory about her parents (she never made any steps towards finding them but that’s a different movie). I have no idea what kind of person Riri is. I don’t know what she wants at any point. She seems concerned with staying on top of her grades, yet she goes with the Wakandans to blow up cars. She’s dragged to an underwater kingdom and reacts to it like a bad acid trip. The one bit I like is the feeling of debt she feels she owes to the queen, since she saved her life. But that’s just a small glimmer in a bland sea of nothing. To add insult to injury, her intelligence doesn’t reduce the redundancy of the character, since being a supergenius was already Shuri’s entire deal..

Namor is pretty much Killmonger 2.0, going for the nuclear option and deciding all of humanity deserves to die after seeing exactly one section of it act in cruelty. They even have the same willingness to put children in harm’s way. He’s selfish, caring for only himself and his people, and he has the same shortsighted bloodlust towards a young girl as Scarlet Witch, thinking that killing her will somehow put an end to the world’s desire to find vibranium. He’s sitting among the worst of the MCU’s villains, in terms of both intelligence and morality. And yet, I’m sure there’ll be a bajillion people claiming that “he’s not reallyyyy the villain you guys! He’s actually the hero! The white people are the real villains!” So now I gotta deal with another four years of that. Thanks, Disney.

Speaking of our colonizer friends, what is there to say about Everett Ross? He was barely in the movie and didn’t get to do much of anything. We got one scene indicating some resentment towards Wakanda only to throw that away real quick once he’s reminded of the time they almost didn’t save his life. And Madame Hydra is as much of an NPC as she was in Black Widow and Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

I’ll level with you guys, I like Okoye. And she’s mostly on-point in this movie (aside from not telling Wakanda right away that Shuri was captured). I know I make fun of her choice of weapon a lot but it weirdly feels like a downgrade to see her in an Iron Man suit. I don’t like seeing her brought to such a low point that she has to rely on tech so heavily. She deserves better armor for sure but I really…don’t wanna see her flying around and shooting lasers. It’s just not her. I’m ready to accept that this is just a me thing, but I seriously hope the Midnight Angel is a one-off. Just give her an actual helmet and a spear that shoots lasers for the next one.

Based M’Baku was seriously great in this movie. And I can tell Winston Duke has a lot of fun in the role. The man is very “Wakanda or die” and he shows more concern for its people than even Shuri. He’s not just dumb muscle either; he shows intelligent and a soft center despite his boisterous outward personality. Seriously, give me a movie about him.

Queen Ramonda’s best scenes are when she’s being a mother instead of a ruler. I was interested in seeing what kind of ruler Queen Ramonda is, but not only do we not get much of it, but every line that’s meant to sound authoritative is an appeal to emotion, and she comes off as short-sighted rather than wise and regal. And I feel bad because Angela Bassett really is an amazing actress. But as Natalie Portman can attest, good acting can’t save bad material. I at least appreciated the balancing act she had to do between her two roles, as well as her dedication to protecting Riri (I can’t help but think she wouldn’t care as much if she was a “colonizer,” but I’m gonna choose to believe there’s some altruism in her). People say her death was disrespectful to the character, but I’m mostly okay with it. If I were to write a death scene for, a sacrifice is probably how I’d do it, only it’d be for Shuri, not Riri.

And now our main girl Shuri. I’ll give props to the film for selling the character as having more depth than just being comic relief. I can believe she’ll be a great Black Panther one day, but we’ll have to see if future films appreciate the long way she has to go from here. Shuri gets a steady amount of agency and I was invested in following her through the plot. But all this praise is contingent on ignoring her main arc: the path of mercy vs. vengeance, and this is about where I start to tune out. The film toys with the idea that Shuri has a dark side, and the generous read of the story is that Shuri is just holding it back after T’Challa’s death but the death of her mother is what brings it to the surface. So you might wonder why I had a hard time taking this arc seriously. It’s not that you can’t tell this kind of story with Shuri, but you have to treat a story arc like this with more care and weight than the film does. These moments are so few and far between and they’re wedged randomly inside your usual MCU affair with Shuri making jokes and being #relatable. Then she goes “Last of Us 2” at the last minute, sparing someone who killed her mother because…vengeance is bad. If they’d just leaned into it a little more, instead of just repeating lines from films that did this better, we could have elevated the character.

Character: 5/10

THEMES

There’s an overall darker and more somber tone than the first film because the underlying theme is grief. T’Challa’s death clouds over the whole movie. Every character is dealing with it in different ways. I would’ve loved to see a movie all about this, without the nonsense with Namor. Actually, you can still have Namor, but make him a dark mirror of Shuri. Have him take the path of vengeance in his grief, whereas Shuri teeters the line but takes mercy in the end. Maybe the two can come to realize that two grieving nations shouldn’t be fighting each other. Instead the film settles on a very shallow “vengeance bad, mercy good” message. And Namor and Atlantis present an outside force, completely divorced from everything else in this movie (and this universe). The result is that it feels like two different movies that were stitched together in the editing room. I wanna say the movie puts weight and respect to T’Challa’s death the entire time, and it mostly does, but it’s somewhat undermined by the decision to override his decision to open Wakanda’s borders, seemingly to open the film on a sour note. Overall, I can at least say it handles this theme better than WandaVision.

The other themes, not so much. The movie wants to ask really complicated geopolitical questions but opts for really simplistic and shallow answers.

Why haven’t you committed to the trade agreement you agreed to?

“Well we’ve been in mourning. Also we don’t like you.”

What do we do with the apparently only scientist that can create a vibranium detector?

“Just kill her. It’ll solve all our problems.”

Aren’t there long-term repercussions to blowing up police cars and/or smuggling a person of interest out of the country?

“Shut up, we’re having fun. Fuck da police!”

Themes: 4/10

Overall Assessment: 3/10

PERSONAL

I think Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is pretty mid overall. Which makes it the best film in Phase 4 besides No Way Home by far. The plot and world are in the toilet but it’s not as cataclysmic as, say, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Most importantly to me, the characters are mostly sound. No one gets outright assassinated, at least (cause that’s where the bar is now). I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, but it was because of the parts that weren’t the movie, and that’s kind of an issue. When characters sat and talked about their feelings, I was invested. But when the plot kicked back in, my eyes kinda glazed over and I found myself checking my phone a lot. It’s kinda funny cause I imagine it was the reverse for a lot of people. I kept my expectations low and managed to have a good time. But I see myself more likely to watch the first film again than this one, if only because the more optimistic tone and the presence of Chadwick Boseman makes it easier to laugh at its expense. Better luck next phase, I guess, Disney.

Personal Rating: 7/10