Help!

Help for Spiritual Abuse

Unfortunately some churches have an authoritarian, dominating spirit among the leadership. Various cults, masquerading as Christian churches engage in subtle forms of brain-washing. Members or ex-members of these groups often suffer from spiritual abuse symptoms, including lack of trust, discouragement, depression, isolation, financial loss, other psychological problems and even--tragically--a loss of faith in God. The editors of this site have experience helping people in this situation and have friends who are willing to donate their time to help as well. Check out the links below and contact us if you require one on one assistance. All communications will be kept in the strictest confidence.

Towards Jesus, Towards Healing - Gordon Coulson [General] Audio Talk Outline

A Letter from Ray Franz to Gordon Coulson [for Jehovah's Witnesses]

A Letter to a Jehovah's Witness Friend - Patrick Navas [for Jehovah's Witnesses]

The Faithful and Discreet Slave - Lewis Hrytzak [for Jehovah's Witnesses]

Help for Alcohol, Drug and other Addictions

The Scriptures condemn drunkenness (1 Cor 6:10, Eph 5:18). We are commanded to keep our bodies clean and holy, a fitting habitation for God's spirit (1 Cor 3:16, 2 Tim 2:21). Abusing alcohol or mood altering drugs (illegal or prescription) is a violation of these principles (Mt 27:34). However, it seems some are unfortunately born with a predisposition towards addictions. Others experience tragedy or loss in their lives and turn to mood altering substances or activities for relief. These individuals can become addicted: their substance or activity of choice becomes their central focus and obsession, and their lives begin unravelling. In advanced cases, the end result is often spiritual, economic and social ruin. Prison, psychiatric wards, and hospitals are not uncommon. In extreme cases, death becomes a real possibility: the addiction is literally killing the addict. What can be done? How can we show Christian love towards those who are so afflicted? How can we help them?

For friends and family of the addict, the first thing to recognize is that they are sick and need help. You need to love them even if you disapprove of their behavior at times. Although it seems counterintuitive, you should resist the urge to rescue them every time they get into trouble. At the same time, you need to realize that the addict is controlled by his or her addiction, and they are unable to be sensitive to you and your needs. The addict must come to accept their problem and make positive steps towards a solution. If you keep rescuing them--giving them money, letting them stay at your home, etc.--you will just enable them to continue their addiction in most cases. This is not helpful. If you angrily condemn them and cut them off, their despair could lead to a deeper downward spiral. A balanced, loving middle ground must be found. Our advice is to contact Al-Anon (alchol-related) or Nar-Anon (drug related) Family Groups (for friends and families of addicts) and get professional advice from a certified drug and alcohol counselor. Often these counselors can set up an "intervention" that can sometimes convince an addict to seek recovery. But please understand that the addict must make the choice. You cannot force them into recovery.

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are voluntary, nonprofit support groups. They can help you get a healthy and useful perspective on the problem and maximize the chances of helping your addict friend, spouse or relative. Don't be shy! Contact them and find a meeting near you. They are very accepting and helpful. You will not be required to participate if you don't want to, and if you do, all information is kept confidential. Whether you just observe the meeting, or actively participate, you will find it beneficial and helpful.

For the addict, he or she must find it in themselves to honestly accept the fact that they are sick and in need of help. They cannot be forced or controlled--it simply will not work. Denial is a key attribute of addiction and the addict has great difficulty seeing the effect he or she is having on other people. For addicts that are Christian, they must humbly and prayerfully ask God to help them, and submit themselves to a recovery program faithfully, honestly and with great perseverance and courage. Abstention is key and for most addicts, this must be life-long. But emotional and spiritual recovery is required--simple abstention is not enough. For alcohol addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous is the tried and tested program. For drug addiction, Narcotics Anonymous is the place to go. Both A.A. and N.A. (and other similar programs) can be used in conjunction with a certified drug and alcohol counselor. You should also collaborate with your physician to ensure that the health aspects of your addiction are covered as well. Also, your physician may be able to refer you to professional addiction treatment.

There are other types of addictions besides drug and alcohol. Sex addictions and gambling addictions are two examples that are common. Most cities and towns have programs for these as well (see the links below for more information).

A note of advice is in order. Some Christians believe that, because these programs are "spiritual", but not specifically "Christian", that they may be harmful to our faith in some way. We have found from experience that this is a totally false assumption. There is no conflict between one's Christian faith and the more general "spirituality" found in these recovery programs. In fact your Christian faith will augment and strengthen the recovery process. If appropriate, your church should be involved--praying for the individual and those affected, showing kind and accepting love and support, and refraining from hurtful gossip or judgement.

Jesus reached out to society's down-trodden in a spirit of love and with a desire to help. We must have the same spirit if we are to be like him. An addict that is in recovery can be a great help to others in your church and in the community. They understand other addicts better than anyone else and are well-positioned to help. In fact, helping others is a crucial part of their recovery and should be encouraged. By helping them we help our church and community. And even if we are unsuccessful in helping the addict, the experience will strengthen us in our spiritual walk with Christ, and make us more effective in helping the next person that comes along.