My lifestyle before and during my first pregnancy was way different from my others. My first baby also had a pretty unstable first three years with frequent moving for grad school and internships. I contrast my lifestyle during those years with those of my other children because my oldest child's immunity is very different from my others and caring for him was much more stressful. His health from 0-3 directly impacted my ability to pursue professional goals and enjoy leisure time. The love for him and thrill of being a mother carried me through those years, but had I made some doable changes years earlier, I suspect he could have been spared the viruses he endured every month for three years, and I could have slept through the night much sooner and worked predictable hours.
Things I did while preparing to conceive my first baby and throughout that pregnancy included a vegan diet and high-stress job. I wish I would have had the high-protein, low-sugar diet outlined later and had learned to manage my stress better with things like yoga or changing my commute or job.
In my first baby's infancy, I didn't follow any sleep schedule and I nursed him to sleep and anytime he wanted in the day or night. I swaddled him with arms pinned to his side, which he hated, so when he was only a few weeks old, I stopped swaddling him completely. He did not sleep enough during his first three years of life because I didn't provide a consistent environment or time in which he could rest. He relied completely on me or driving in the car to get to sleep. And I never slept through the night for about three years. We co-slept to make nights bearable for me. Some moms can nurture like this, and I thought it was just fine at the time. But now I see how different a baby's disposition, health, and my well-being can be if I had maintained the integrity of his sleep schedule (following guidance from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child--a must have! Babies' sleep needs change quickly, so this walks me through what to expect each month). I also wish I had swaddled more effectively with a self-soothing position. I wish I would have provided a darker room in which he could sleep, used a noise machine, and followed a wake--eat--play--lay down pattern as a newborn in accordance with their circadian rhythm. At about 3-4 months old, I wish I would have used a Baby Merlin Magic Sleepsuit while transitioning from the swaddle.
Rearing him was more stressful during those years than it was for my subsequent babies at those ages, but he turned out wonderful despite my inadequacies! I love kids' resilience, and perhaps he is uniquely sensitive because of my approach to motherhood at the time. I still wish I would have taken steps to improve his health and sleep, but hope for a happy life is still certain amid imperfect execution of establishing healthy habits early.