What Teachers Make - Taylor Mali

He says the problem with teachers is what's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life is to become a teacher?

He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers, that those who can, do

and those who can't, teach.

I decided to bite my tongue instead of his and resist the urge to remind other dinner guests that it's also true what they say about lawyers,

Because we are eating and after all,

And this is polite conversation.

I mean you're a teacher Taylor, be honest, what do you make?

And I wish he hadn't asked me to be honest because you see I have a policy about honesty and ass kicking which is if you ask for it, then I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make? I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I can make a C+ look like a Congressional Medal of Honour

and I make an A- feel like a slap in the face, how dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

You want to know what make?

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence,

no, you cannot work in groups,

No you can’t ask a question so put your hand down,

Why don't I let you go to the bathroom?

Because you're bored and you don't really have to go.

You want to know what?

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home,

And around dinner time

"This is Mr Mali,I hope I haven’t called at a bad time,

I just wanted to talk about something that your son did today you,

He said leave the kid alone I still cry sometimes, don't you?

And it was the noblest act of courage that I had ever seen,"

I make parents see their children for who they really are and who they can be.

You want to know what?

I make kids question,

I'm make them criticize,

I make them apologize and mean it,

I'm make them write, write, write and then I make them read,

I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful and over again until they will never misspell either one of those words again,

I make them show all their work in Math and then hide it on their final draughts in English,

I make them realise that if you got this, then you follow this and if somebody tries to judge you based on what you make, you give them this.

Let me break it down for you so you know what I say is true,

I make a goddamn difference,

Now what about you?

I’ll fight you for the library - Taylor Mali

For Dr Joseph Deangelo, 5th grade English teacher PhD, 8th Degree Black Belt Sensei

I’ll Fight You for the Library (a poem in four letters)

One - to Clarissa Learner, librarian,

Dear Clarissa, I understand that the research periods I reserved in the library next week for my glasses have been cancelled.

Just out of curiosity, who and or what is more important than my classes research needs?

Two - Nancy Devlin, Secretary to Dr Richard Blackstone Dean of Instruction,

Dear Nancy, the librarian informs me that Dr Blackstone has reserved the library for a facilities utilisation meeting of the administration next week and that all classes scheduled to meet in the library on that day must meet elsewhere.

This is unconscionable academic instruction takes precedence over administrative meetings, period.

That Dr Blackstone the Dean of Instruction, would even consider cancelling one class’ library period in order to hold a meeting called facilities utilisation is so obtuse,

I am incapable of appreciating the irony in it

Three - To Dr Richard Blackstone Dean of Instruction

Dear Dick, with all due respect I don't think you actually do understand my frustration or else you would not have used that word.

I’m not in fact frustrated, the correct word would be outraged!

I will not reschedule any of my classes library periods for any administrative meetings, especially one that purports to be discussing the effective use of the school's facilities.

I do not care if the library is the only place in the school big enough to accommodate your meeting, It's also the only place in the school with books and lastly I would be the first to apologise for, Editorialising through your secretary if I thought that the statement academic instruction takes, Precedence over administrative meetings were a matter of opinion and not in fact a matter of fact, And not one I thought I would have to explain to the Dean of Instruction.

To conclude, if any one of my classes are denied the library next week then please alert Dr Joyce Santiago the district superintendent to be ready to accept my resignation.

Four - (this is a true story by the way) Dr Joyce Santiago District Superintendent

Dear superintendent Santiago,

For 40 years I have serve the interests of my students providing them with all encouragement, guidance, resources, respect and love they require to grow into productive, responsible, informed and well-prepared members of the community.

I do not take this responsibility lightly, I take it with all the nobility, grace and gravitas of the teaching profession.

So on behalf of my students and their parents, I thank you for finding another place for Dr Blackstone to hold his meeting.

Sincerely Dr Joseph Deangelo, 5th grade English teacher PhD, 8th Degree Black Belt Sensei

Like, You Know by taylor mali

In case you hadn't realised it is has somehow become uncool to sound like, you know,

What you're talking about,

Or believe strongly in what you're like saying.

Invisible question marks and parenthetical you knows, and you know what I'm sayings have,

Been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences,

Even when those sentences aren't like questions,

Declarative sentences, so called because they used to like, you know, declare things to be true,

Ok, as opposed to other things that are like, totally you know, not,

They've been infected by this tragically cool and totally hip interrogative tone.

As if I'm saying I don't think I'm a nerd just because I've liked noticed this ok I have nothing,

Personally invested in my own opinions,

I'm just like inviting you to join me on the bandwagon of my own uncertainty.

What has happened to our conviction?

Where are the limbs out on which we once walked, have they been like chopped down with the,

Rest of the rainforest?

You know, or do we have like nothing to say?

Has society just become so filled with these conflicting feelings of merely,

That we've just gotten to the point where we are the most aggressively inarticulate generation to, Come along since you know a long time ago.

So I implore you, I entreat you and I challenge you to speak with conviction,

To say what you believe in,

In a manner that speaks to determination with which you believe it,

Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,

It is not enough these days to simply question authority,

You got to speak with it too.

Tony Steinberg: Brave Seventh-Grade Viking Warrior by Taylor Mali

Have you ever seen a Viking ship made out of popsicle sticks and balsa wood

Coils of brown thread for the rope,

Ores made out of, what are those, chopsticks?

And an authentic red and yellow striped Viking sale,

Made from a ripped piece of a baby's footie pyjamas,

I have.

He died with his sword in his hand and so went straight to Heaven.

The Vikings often buried their bravest warriors in ships,

Or set them adrift and on fire,

A floating island of flame,

The soul of the brave warrior rising slowly with the smoke.

In order to understand life in Scandinavia during the time of the Middle Ages you have to understand the Viking ship,

So here's what I want the class to do,

“I want you all do build me one miniature Viking ship,

You can use whatever materials you want, you've got six weeks to complete this assignment but, You have to work together like Warriors.”

These are the projects that I am known for as a history teacher,

Like the Greek shield project,

Or the marshmallow catapult project,

Or the mediaeval castle of chocolate cake (actually that one was a disaster) but,

There was the Egyptian pyramid project.

Have you ever seen a family of four gathered around a card table,

After dinner each member of the family holding onto one triangular side,

Of a miniature cardboard Egyptian pyramid until the glue finally dried?

I haven't either,

But Mrs Steinberg said that even with the little brother on one side saying,

“This is a stupid pyramid Tony,

If I get Mr Molly next year my pyramid’s going to be so much better design than this piece of……”

And Tony on the other side “going shut up shut up you stupid idiot if you let go before the glue dries or I'll disembowel you with your Sony PlayStation,”

It was the best family time that they had spent together since Hannukkah.

He died with his sword in his hand and so went straight to Heaven.

“Mr Molly if that's true, if a Viking died with his sword in his hand,

He went straight to Valhalla then if you were like an old viking,

And you were going to die of old age,

Could you keep your sword right by your bed,

So if you ever felt like oh I might die of old age,

You could reach out and grab it and still go to heaven could you do that?”

“If I were a Viking god I don't think I would fall for that,

But if I were an old Viking about to die of old age,

That's exactly what I would do,

You’re a genius.”

He died with his sword in his hand and so went straight to Heaven.

Tony Steinberg had been missing from school for two months before we finally found out what was wrong,

And then the twelve other boys in the class whispered the name of the disease,

As if you could catch it from saying it too loud.

We've been warned,

The head of the middle school had come to class and said,

“Tony is going to try to come to school on Friday for a visit,

But he's had a rough time on the medication he's been taking,

Has made all of his hair fall out,

So nobody is to stare,

Nobody point,

Nobody laugh.”

I always said that I liked teaching in a private school,

Because I could talk about God in the classroom,

And not be breaking the law,

And I like talking about God in the classroom,

I do it a lot,

Yes in History class, that's easy,

Even the Egyptian pyramid project is essentially a spiritual undertaking,

But how can you teach math and not believe in God?

A God of perfect geometric space and time surrounded by archangels and right angles of varying degrees,

Such a God would not give cancer to a 7th grade boy,

Would not make all of his hair fall out from chemotherapy,

Totally bald in a jacket and tie.

And I don't just mean Tony Steinberg,

Not one single kid in my class had hair that day,

The other twelve had all shaved their heads in solidarity,

Have you ever seen thirteen bald-headed seventh-graders in jackets and ties all,

Of them staring at each other,

And all of them pointing all of them laughing,

I have and it's a beautiful sight,

Almost as striking as twelve 7th grade boys one month later,

Standing in a circle outside the synagogue after the memorial service,

Heads bowed holding hands,

Surrounding the smoldering remains of the class’ miniature Viking ship,

Which they have set on fire,

The soul of the brave warrior rising slowly with the smoke.