In his book "Growing Up," Robby Gallaty defines discipleship as intentionally equipping believers with the Word of God through accountable relationships empowered by the Holy Spirit in order to replicate faithful followers of Christ. The principles in that definition should be part of every discipleship method.

• Intentionality

• Equipping

• Believers

• Centered on the Word of God

• Accountability

• Relationships (men with men & women with women)

• Dependent on the Holy Spirit

• Replication

• Focused on developing faithful followers of Christ

We will discuss these issues in more detail in later sessions and lay out a process to help you make disciples.

Discipleship is not easy. It is asking someone to imitate us as we follow Jesus with the end goal of them becoming faithful followers of Christ. Jesus said following Him comes at a cost. Luke 9:23 "Then he said to them all, If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." Discipleship is not about elevating yourself as a group leader but about recognizing Christ as Lord and surrendering yourself to be used by him. You must get down in the trenches with your group and get beyond the surface-level stuff we all hide behind. When you walk that closely with someone else, you take on the pain and messiness of their lives. It is difficult, emotionally exhausting, frustrating, and time-consuming but worth every effort. You must count the cost on the front end because it requires a significant investment.

That leads me to why I make disciples. Even though the price is high, the benefits outweigh the cost. Below are eight reasons why I make disciples and why I think you should as well. I am a product of discipleship. Without it, I would not be here today. God sovereignly intervened in my life and radically changed me. Thankfully he sent a man to disciple me. Because of the obedience and sacrifice of one man, I have been trying to disciple men ever since. My prayer for you is to encourage you to be that catalyst in someone else's life.

I disciple because:

It amazes me that so few people intentionally disciple in a group when it is how Jesus spent the majority of his time. Jesus is not only our savior; He is our example to follow. He chose a few men we know as the 12 disciples and invited them to come and follow Him. Jesus poured his life into those men. Taking every opportunity to equip and instruct them for their future assignment. He appeared to the disciples after the resurrection and said, "….. As the Father has sent me, I also send you." John 20:21. We don't need any more reason than that.

The final message from Jesus to his followers is in Matthew 28. Jesus is speaking with his disciples on a mountaintop near Galilee. This encounter is after the resurrection and just before He ascends to heaven. Matthew 28:18-20 Jesus came near and said to them, "All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

It is a clear command to his followers (that's us) to "make disciples" by going to all nations and baptizing them (evangelism) and teaching them (discipleship). That command is not given to church leaders because there is no church. It is given to those who identify themselves as followers of Jesus Christ. It is clear that the responsibility belongs to us as individuals and that it includes every one of us. We can debate how to make disciples, but there is no debating that our Lord and Savior, Jesus

Christ has instructed us to make disciples.

That leaves us with three options:

1. Make disciples.

2. If you don't know how to make disciples, then you need to get equipped with the purpose of becoming a disciple-maker.

3. You can disobey Jesus' command.

Disobedience is always an option but never recommended. The gospel came to you because it was on its way to someone else. Thankfully, someone was faithful enough to pass the baton to us. Will you be faithful and pass it on to someone who needs it? You are God's sovereign choice to impact your circle of influence.

My story is the story of every man. The details are different, but the brokenness and the need for healing are the same. I was baptized at eight, but neither my parents nor the church knew how to disciple me. I was dropped off at church every Sunday and Wednesday. I was a good kid. I never got in trouble, played football, and got good grades. I was an all-American boy.

When I was 12, my parents divorced. We lived in San Diego at the time, so my mom, my sister, and I moved back to Kentucky to live close to family. Twelve years old is an important time of life when dads teach their sons how to be men, and my dad was on the other side of the country.

Fast forward ten years, I met the most beautiful woman in the world, and we married. My wife's parents were also divorced, so we both carried some baggage into our marriage. We started great, but marriage has a way of bringing issues to the surface. We started to argue in unhealthy ways. I struggle with anger and pride. I was passive in critical areas. I didn't know how to be a godly man. My wife and I were struggling and heading down the wrong path.

But God sent a man into my life out of nowhere. He invited me to join a year-long discipleship group with him. I had no idea what that meant, but I wanted what he had. His name was Dwayne Potteiger, and he is my greatest hero. He taught me how to read and study God's Word, love God, love my wife, and be the man God created me to be. I am convinced I would not be married today if God hadn't sent Dwayne into my life.

I had no idea what I was doing when I discipled my first group. I extended an offer to the ten men in my Sunday School class, and they all accepted. Even though I stumbled through that first year, God did an amazing work in our group. At the end of that year, I promised God that I would disciple men every year that He gave me guys who wanted to be discipled. That was over 20 years ago, and I have discipled a group of men every year except 3. It has been one of the greatest joys of my life. When I am asked what I like to do in my free time, I am always self-conscious about the answer. The truth is that discipling men, helping them grow in the knowledge of Christ, and seeing them embrace God's will for their lives is my favorite thing to do. People will respond by saying, "that is what a pastor should say." But I was discipling men before ministry (when I was an accountant), and I will continue until God stops sending me men.

Over the years, I have had a front-row seat to see God do amazing things through the men in my groups. I have seen marriages restored, dads step up and start leading at home, the light bulbs come on when men read the bible for the first time, and I have seen guys go on to start ministries, go to the mission field, and become pastors. I can't take credit for any of it, but the blessing of being a part of the process is priceless.

The best testimonies have come from the wives who share with tears in their eyes how God has changed their husbands.

The learning process never ends, especially in discipleship. I have found when I invest in others that, I am the one who grows the most. The disciple usually looks to do the minimum, but the leader prepares for multiple unknown questions. The questions we don't know cause us to dig into scripture or wrestle with a scenario that will stretch us and cause us to grow. At the end of every year, I can look back and see several examples of God continuing to mature me along the way.

Another benefit is the added accountability of leading a group. I can't ask them to do anything I am unwilling to do. That alone keeps me accountable for keeping up my spiritual disciplines. On top of that, I can't ask my group if they are being intentional at home to love and serve their spouse if I am not doing it. Every topic I prepare to bring up makes me evaluate my own life. I said above that the best testimonies come from the spouses; I can tell you that my wife loves that I disciple men. She especially likes when I encourage the men to be more romantic or to help out around the house because she knows it will cause me to step up my own game.

My wife and I lead the marriage ministry in our local church. Over the last 3 years we have surveyed every class (anonymously) and 80% of the couples are unsatisfied or very unsatisfied with their marriage. That is not a good place to be.

Families are under attack and parents are struggling to lead their families. They are not living the abundant life that God desires for us.

All my personal discipleship groups have been with men and there are some disturbing stats about men:

For every 10 men in your church:

8 will not find their jobs satisfying

7 will look at pornography

6 will pay the monthly minimum on credit cards

4 will get divorced

Only 1 will have a biblical worldview

All 10 will struggle to balance family & work.

Every person we reach represents a family. Before you get discouraged by these numbers, consider the potential that exists if we begin to make disciples. The potential for marriages, families, churches, and communities to get stronger. It could even have a positive impact on our culture. The goal is not to develop more ministries but to develop more men and women to be on mission with God.

If you reach an individual, you not only have the potential to reach their family but also to reach generationally to their grandchildren. The answer is not politics. The answer is Jesus Christ, and discipleship is the way we develop followers of Christ.

In 1996, I came home from work, and my wife said, "I signed us up for the newlywed class at church." I said with confusion, "We are not newlyweds." She clarified by informing me that she had signed us up to teach the newlywed class. You have no idea how terrified I was. At this point in my life, I had never spoken in front of a group. She was unfazed by my endless excuses. Long story short, we became the teachers of the newlywed class.

After teaching for a couple of years, we decided it was time to try something different, and we were looking at moving to a church closer to home. Until this point, my wife was doing most of the teaching and leading of the class, and she needed a break. The class was starting to slow down, and it seemed like it was a good time to move. But God wouldn't let me leave. I started feeling very uncomfortable about leaving. It was one of those times when God clearly speaks to you through the noise of your life. He said very simply, "you have not given me your best." Boom! It hit me like a ton of bricks because He was right. So I told my wife we needed to stay because God wants me to give my best. I volunteered to do all the teaching and leading of the class. I told her we could leave in 6 months because I was convinced my best would still fall woefully short. Well, God did what God does. He started to use me in ways I never thought possible. During this season, I started my first discipleship group and was asked to lead the men's ministry at our church.

There are so many good God stories during those days, but I want you to know that it all hinged on my response to God. He didn't need my ability; He wanted my availability. Have you come to where you are giving God your absolute best? You cannot lead men to give their best until you have done it yourself.

There are many great things to do with your life, but I think discipleship is the greatest calling because it is the tip of the spear. What I mean by that is I believe it all starts with discipleship. I don't like to think of discipleship as a ministry but as a way to equip people to do ministry. The focus of discipleship is to replicate a faithful follower of Christ, and ministry is the natural response of a faithful follower of Christ. I believe everyone should make disciples and be actively involved in a ministry.

When I started giving God my best, He started reprioritizing my life in ways I would never have imagined. My wife and I were leading a small group at our church, I was discipling my second group of guys, I was trying to start and lead a men's ministry, and our two daughters were in preschool when God presented me with a crossroad moment. At the time, I was the accounting director of a midsize company in Nashville, and I was offered the promotion that I had been desperately wanting. It would mean more money, security, better vacations, and prestige. Did I mention more money? It seemed like everything was getting better and better. As the promotion details started becoming apparent, it was evident that I would have to spend three days a week in New Jersey. As my wife and I discussed our options, it was clear that I could not continue to do everything. On one side, I had ministry and family; on the other, I had money and a career. This decision drove me to my knees because I knew they would not offer it again if I said no to the promotion. I wrestled with the decision because I wanted both, and my flesh said I could take the promotion and still do family and ministry well. My wife and I committed to pray.

I learned several things about God through this decision (1) He can speak to me in a way I can understand, (2) I can trust Him with my future, and (3) He confirms his answer by getting my wife and me on the same page and (4) He had a different definition of success than I did. I am so grateful that we turned down that promotion. Within a year, we moved to a church closer to home (another big decision), and that church offered me a full-time position as the adult minister. I believe it all started with discipleship. I would not have been prepared for that crossroad if God wasn't shaping me ahead of time through a discipleship process and the ministries that followed.

I wish I could help you see your life from God's perspective. I am still learning myself. If I could, I think you would see things differently.

• You would spend more time pursuing your wife, like when you were dating.

• You would spend more time with your kids.

• You would see your role with your family as a servant leader, not as one to be served.

• You would worry about your career or about being successful

• You would spend more time on your knees in prayer.

• You would spend more time getting to know God and making Him known.

• You would value people more.

• You would slow down and enjoy the moment.

• You would give more and serve more.

• You would make disciples.